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Monday, June 11, 2012

Erica vs. the paddles

I think I lost. But I put up a good fight.

I was more than ready for ST this evening. It had been a heavy couple of weeks and I felt like I wanted to lighten up a bit, laugh and play. ST was a bit tentative when he first arrived, but once he sensed that I was up for it, he certainly was as well.

Not sure how this revolting development, er, developed, but he decided that tonight, aside from a warmup with his hand and the Spanking Buddy, our entire scene would be with three wooden paddles. WTF? An all-wood night? What did I do to deserve this??

Nothing, at first. But I guess bombarding him with smartassery might have had something to do with it. It all started when he teasingly asked me if I thought he was being fresh, and I snapped, "No, I think you're rotten."

Several swats later, he asked, "Would you care to rephrase that?"

"Uh... you're day-old?"

"Are you saying I'm stale?"

"Well, that's better than rotten! Isn't it?"

Apparently not.

He paused in the paddling, going back to the Spanking Buddy for a bit. I took that opportunity to shove all the paddles off the bed onto the floor. This did not please him.

"You really think that's a good idea, throwing the toys on the floor?"

"I didn't throw them, I pushed them."

Tomato, tomahto.

He had this bizarre notion that the paddles were insulted and that I should apologize to them. Uh... no. Forget it.

Surprise, surprise, he didn't forget it, and did his damndest to convince me that I should apologize to the paddles, one by one.

"I'm not going to talk to a piece of wood!" I snapped. "I'm not a ventriloquist!"

"These paddles probably have cousins that are ventriloquist's dummies -- you just insulted them too!"

I told him that made absolutely no sense and the only person who would think it did was another top, because tops live on their own planet and have their own special logic. Then I added, "I think you're a ventriloquist's dummy."

Sometimes, I really am stupid. He whaled on me with one of those fuckers lovely paddles until I screeched, "OKOKOKI'MSORRY!" But I wasn't apologizing to the paddle, I was apologizing to ST for calling him a dummy.

"Are you ready to apologize to the paddle for throwing it on the floor?"

"I didn't throw it, I pushed it."

Yes, folks, this went on for quite some time. As you can see from the evidence:

And yet I kept my mouth running. Guess that's just where I needed to be, tonight. Laughing and being a wise-ass. Of course, I can't do that with just anyone. But with ST? He knows I love him. :-)

He never did get me to apologize to the paddles, you know. I flat-out refused. I did, however, apologize to him, and told him he could relay whatever message he chose to his little wooden friends.

But it's OK. I made peace with the paddles after all. Particularly the one he'd made for me. I am rather fond of that one. (But ssshhhhh, don't tell him.)

And all was well in my world once again...

Soothing me with lotion, he teased, "How long do I have to paddle you before you learn to behave yourself?"

"You won't live long enough," I murmured into the bedspread.

But I hope he never stops trying. :-)


  1. It looks like it'll be awhile before you find yourself up a river without a paddle... or at least a paddling!


  2. Awww, that picture of you cuddling the heart-shaped paddle is so sweet!

    I'm glad you had a good, bratty time with ST to clear away the cobwebs and the sadness.


  3. Wish I could think of wise things to say like you do. I usually can't think of anything until hours or days later - which doesn't have the same effect. Keep writing yours so I can try to memorize.

  4. Hi Erica -- You and ST are so funny hehehe LMAO i couldn't stop laughing :-)Your pic's are so cute,the pic of you hugging the paddle is priceless :-)Wood definately hurt's i mark well with wood.I am happy you had a great time with ST :-)much Love and hug's alway's from your naughty girl Jade xoxo

  5. SC -- personally, I could do without the lot of them; I'll take my chances with drowning! LOL (OK, OK, I'm exaggerating...)

    Hermione -- it felt good to feel like myself, you know?

    Angel -- people will groan because I've said this a million times, but I'll repeat it just for you; I think fast off my feet. :-) Also, years of practice.

    Jade -- glad I could make you laugh. :-)

  6. Thanks so much for sharing your night and the great photos. Happy to see you having fun.
    And with words like smartassery I bet you are quite the opponent when you play scrabble.


  7. As a top who orbits on his own unique planet most of the time this one really made me laugh. As a matter of fact I'm still chuckling and will have a hard time looking at wooden paddles for a while with out seeing a ventriloquist's dummy.

  8. "These paddles have cousins that are ventriloquest's dummies." Too good.

    Lovely marks, lovely smile. Welcome back to happyspanky! Nobody does it like you.

  9. Jon -- the trouble with Scrabble is that they insist that all the words be in the dictionary. :-)

    MM -- I've known of some tops naming their implements. You could name yours Charlie and Mortimer. Or Jerry and Knucklehead. (Yes, I'm dating myself dreadfully with those references.)

    Emen -- thanks. :-) Laughter felt amazing, which is probably why I was so over the top last night!

  10. MEGA funny smartassery!!!!

    Those are THE best spanking scenes, EVER. I swear the harder I get spanked/paddled, the mouthier I become...for awhile, THEN somehow, I "learn" my lesson, albeit the hard way! LOL!!! I truly believe laughing throughout enables my endurance to increase for hard sessions.

    I don't think you guys could ever suffer from spanking burn out, your chemistry is too magical. :)

  11. That's on Facebook. But something tells me when you are playing the old fashion way you can be bratty enough to get your way.


  12. I am so happy to see you back in action. Possibly one of the best pictures of your lovely bum I have ever seen, and that look of relaxed happiness on your face was wonderful!!
    I still think you need a couple Poppa paddles of your very own, after all that sample you got from Mr. Daniels was so very long ago...;)


  13. Kelly -- I swear, I wanted to keep on bratting last night. But I knew I'd be pushing it too far. Sometimes, I'm insatiable.

    Poppa -- oh, so very long, my foot. It was five years ago, not the Dark Ages. :-D

  14. "You won't live long enough." Lol! Way to stand your ground! Where do tops come up with these ridiculous things?

  15. Lea -- same place where they get their logic, their reasons for spanking, and pretty much everything else, I reckon. ;-)

  16. After Bacall read this she remarked that if she met you, she would be inspired to act sassy and get in trouble. I agreed with her and that she already could get sassy on her own. Still, I have always thought the two of you would get along too damn well. Late yesterday, we were sitting outside and she remarked how she was thinking about hiding the wooden batten. I put it in plain sight for her to see and think about how it will be used on her this morning.

  17. OBB -- I suppose my blog should come with a disclaimer: "Tops, be forewarned -- bottoms may get ideas from reading this." :-D

  18. It was good to read this Erica so funny the two of you. Just what you needed.


  19. Ronnie -- thanks. It really was.