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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

It's that time of year again!

Yup, those of you who know me, know what I'm talking about. Time to break out this little guy, once again:

Today in the dentist's office, I heard Johnny Mathis's "Silver Bells." I wanted to barf.

Tonight on the phone, John was talking about Thanksgiving. Oh, goody. He asked, "On a scale of one to ten, how do you feel about our going to [his sister's] house? And no, you can't use negative numbers." Damn. He read my mind.

I am so not in the mood for the annual turkey-fa-la-ho-ho shit. But then again... when am I? Every year in November, I wish for an IV drip that will put me peacefully to sleep and leave me there until January 2.

This sentiment seems to worsen as I get older. Really, I don't know what happened. Would you believe I actually used to bake cookies as gifts? From scratch, too. Those pain-in-the-butt sugar cookies where you have to mix the dough, chill it, roll it, cut out the cookies one by one and painstakingly decorate them.

Got a little older, and switched to mini quick breads from a mix. Few years later -- ah, screw baking. Cards. That's the ticket.

Now, I don't even feel like sending those.

I had to laugh. In my blog's keyword search phrases today, I found "grinch spanking." Grinch = Erica. Nahhh... I don't really want to take away everyone else's holidays. I just wish I could go somewhere and avoid them. Preferably into a coma.

At least this year, John isn't sick. I am very grateful for that. The only thing that kept me sane last year was knowing I had my Connecticut adventure coming in January, when I went to shoot with Sarah and Paul. I have no such adventures to look forward to this time.

Someone, very well meaning, suggested that I could distract myself and make a few bucks by doing some seasonal work in retail. I appreciate that they were caring enough to try to come up with something for me. But, to quote Weird Al, I'd rather dine on shards of glass for all eternity than deal with a teeming mass of harried holiday harridans.

Thank goodness for ST. He'll be here. I wish I could bring him with John and me to the family dinners. We joked about how he could grab my butt in front of John's horndog brother-in-law. But you know, I like ST too much. I wouldn't subject him to that. I'm sure he'll have a better time with his dog.

It's stinking thinking to say, "If I just had something special and fun to look forward to, I'll get through." I know this. I need to cope without having carrots dangled in front of me.

So herein begins the countdown. Tonight is November 15th. Forty-six days until January 1.

I hope y'all don't hate my crabby guts by then. :-)  Bear with me.


  1. OMG! I could not resist this!!!!! YOU effin' CRACK ME UP!

  2. Hey Betty Crocker.... You need a Kupcake-Inator!!


  3. YO! OSCAR!


    (just cause I ♥ You!)

  4. Zelle -- LOL! You are so bad! OK, these are great, but you reminded me... I forgot my new favorite holiday clip. I'll have to post it tomorrow.

    And who are you calling Betty freaking Crocker??

  5. Dear Betty, what no cookies this year?? Is your Easy Bake on the blink? Put on your Christmas apron and bells and get your buns in the kitchen.

    xxx Bogey

  6. It's too bad you guys down there have a giant, extended holiday season. Our Thanksgiving is early, so it's a separate holiday and not part of a "season". On the other hand, the day after Hallowe'en all the stores put out Christmas decorations and merchandise, so we have a two month run up to the big day.

    I love your little guy. That's my kind of holiday greeting.


  7. I approach the holidays the same way. Put me in a comma around mid-November. Wake me up in the new year. I wonder if there is a support group for people who don't like the holidays... Probably not one that gathers.

  8. Maybe you should try baking spanking cookies this year. You could make little paddles, hairbrushes, bath brushes and wooden spoons. Of course you would need to bake some nice bottom cookies to go with your implaments. You could have bottom cookies with white frosting to represent a bottom before the spanking and cookies with pink frosting and red frosting to represent a bottom after a spanking. That might just get you in the spirit.

    The VBB

  9. Think about some of the Holidays you had as a child the ones with all your loved ones around you

  10. OMG! I love that little guy!!

    It does seem illogical to go spend these days with people you try to avoid the rest of the year, doesn't it?

    With Christmas, I have kids at home still and there is still something magical in that. :) As for extended family, I only really go to make my parents happy, so we can all play 'happy family' for awhile. It means a lot to him, I know, and after having had a heart attack this year, I am not sure how much longer he will be around. But self absorbed, drug addicted siblings are not my idea of good company.


  11. OBB -- what's an oven? No comprendo. :-)

    Hermione -- yeah, the Xmas stuff starts right around Halloween. Thanksgiving doesn't bug me as much; it's just a day where people eat. No presents to buy and no religious overtones. But honestly, I'd rather just go to a movie.

    Anonymous -- good point! Non-gatherers who hate holidays wouldn't gather to talk about how much they hate gathering. Perhaps we could have an online group.

    VBB -- Nah. I'd just be pissed off thinking about all the spankings I could have gotten in the time it took to make those freaking things. :-)

    Anonymous -- that's a lovely thought. I would think about those... if they had existed.

    Sarah -- it's different with kids, I think. You can see it all through their eyes. :-)

  12. I am another of those that isn't keen on the holidays.. I'm already getting depressed.. of course part of this depressed state I'm in.. is stemming from party drop this time of year (ala the end of OCT CCM party in Chicago) .. as well as my (right after that) stop off in VA on the way home to FL to play with my other special partner... (insert: big fat sigh)

    I miss the holidays when it was all about getting together with like minded friends and just hanging out eating, drinking, laughing, and having one helluva good time... WITHOUT having to deal with the commercial end of the holidays.. that dictates you have to buy this or that for this person or that person.

    Christmas, Hanukkah.. (sighs) NONE of those are about gifts for me.. (I'm broke anyhow--due to spanking parties! LOL).. I'm far from a material girl too --Give me a good spanking over diamonds/clothes/trinkets any day of the week! .. it IS ALL ABOUT camaraderie.. and sharing special memories.. (and if I'm with folks that care to throw in a spanking or two during our little soire' ?? well, SO BE IT!) LOL

  13. Sweetie -- it's like a big gaping emptiness, isn't it? Just a while ago, it was filled with love and joy and fun and spanking play and then... As someone who has been going through her own weepy, edgy drop for the past couple of weeks, I empathize. But you know, you'll have those good times again.

    Dammit! Why do we all have to be so far from each other? John and ST excepted, there are so many people I'd rather be with this holiday than the people I'm actually going to be with. (sigh)

  14. I want to make a proclamation.. and that is... that there must be a HOLIDAY SPANKING PARTY (preferably in a warm climate) :-)

    I think that would totally solve our dilemma. Instead of the depressing dribble we're supposed to endure.. why can't we be the relatives that go on vacation over the holidays?

    I see nothing wrong with leaving those we could give a rats azz about being left behind to COOK and CLEAN UP for ungrateful food and drink mongers - that are weighing the fact that so and so, got so and so, a better present- (snorts!) while we jet off to a fantastic holiday spanking party!

    AND ANOTHER PET PEEVE OF MINE -- why are the women always the ones expected to fix the meal.. and clean up the mess? --

  15. I concur. But that damned party better be near me! I'm sick of hearing about all these parties that are so freaking far away. Spain? Really??? arrggh

    My stepdad, bless his heart, always cleaned up and did the dishes after Thanksgiving. I actually didn't mind helping to clean up, as long as I didn't have to have anything to do with cooking!

  16. Hi Erica, I like christmas and thanksgiving but in my house it SUCKS cause i have a TERRIBLE person living in the same house :-( I get VERY depressed cause she ruins the holidays, she already started a problem with me today she said xmas can go to hell for all she cares :-( So i know how you feel, I want to get spanked too cause i miss it very much.Love and hugs from your naughty girl Jade XOXO

  17. Jade -- oh well, nuts to her, too. You go ahead and enjoy your holidays in spite of her!

  18. I must say that I used to think it was terrible that the stores put out their holiday decorations and music the day after Thanksgiving, but I was surprised this year that the rulers of retail decided to start earlier. I can deal with the decorations, but the music--not so much! And it's all so politically correct--not like the tunes I grew up on.

  19. Dana -- I actually like some of the rock-and-roll Xmas tunes... but not for two months solid!

  20. I think the Grinch HIMSELF is adorable! :)

    But I could have done without seeing XMAS decorations overlapping Halloween celebrations LONG before Halloween even passed.

    As for the recycled EM'EFFING songs...I wish they would mix them up with pop songs, too.

    The positives-hanging with loved ones-the ones I DON'T love, I avoid.

  21. Kelly -- the Grinch is my favorite holiday cartoon. Voiced by Boris Karloff himself! (OK, I do NOT want to hear "Who's Boris Karloff?", dammit)

  22. I do know who Boris Karloff is becuase I'm that old lol I agree with you on the holidays, I hate thanksgiving that was wrecked by fueding relatives for me years ago. I tolerate christmas but my favorite holiday is ground hog day becuase there are no expectations of us :)

  23. Glen -- Thanksgiving used to be my favorite holiday, believe it or not. Until my mother lost her mind. (sigh)

  24. I know exactly how you feel. I saw my first Christmas tree yesterday, no, not in a shop but in a house.

    I said to P this year were staying home. In the 30 odd years we've been together we've only been in our own home about 7-8 times for Christmas.

    Love the little guy.


  25. Ronnie -- insane! That tree is going to be a dried-out fire hazard long before Xmas.

  26. Screw January 2, I want to skip to Spring!

  27. Pink -- hah! See, I like January-February-March. But then again, we don't get snow here, so it's just three nice quiet months with cooler weather.

  28. Holidays stress me out. Forced get togethers with relatives you don't care for, reminders of how broke I am, etc. I don't have kids to worry about anyway. I say Bah Humbug! ;-)

  29. Lea -- OK, so you're another candidate for our NON-holiday spanko gathering. No families allowed!

  30. I'd redo that mathematical equation:

    grinch = spanking