This CHoS is short, but I thought posting something humorous might help counteract this blue mood I'm in.
I changed the name on this one, because it works better if I leave a name in place. Granted, this one isn't really rude, but as you'll see, it's a bit strange:
My name is Joe and I am 25 years old! I was wondering if maybe you wanted to do some online sessions! I think you are really quite cute and would love to punish you! Maybe we could work it out to do a real sessions!
Thanks for the time, Joe!
Someone needs to disable this guy's exclamation point key. Can you imagine doing an online session with him? "Bad girl! Hold still! Smack! Smack! You need to be punished! I'm going to punish you! I'm taking you over my knee right now! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
But here's the gem of the week:
I AM PERFECT FOR YOU LOVER! SERIOUSLY I HAVE AN INSATIABLE ASS FETISH THAT WOULD AMAZE YOU AND I AM ALWAYS IN NEED OF A NEW BOTTOM.WHENEVER-WHEREVER I AM ADDICTED TO LICKING,SUCKING,AND FUCKING A NICE ASS LIKE YOURS.PLEASE MESSAGE ME ASAP SINCE WE LIVE SO CLOSE.I PROMISE YOU'LL BE PLEASED.
OK, first -- STOP YELLING. Second, not in a million years would I be your lover. Third, you mention every possible thing that can be done to an ass... except the one thing I want, which is spanking. Oh, wait. There is one more thing that can be done to an ass -- kicking it out the cyber door.
I wonder if people with insatiable ass fetishes become proctologists?
And finally -- I've mentioned that on occasion, I find something so completely off the wall in my keyword search section, it cries out to be posted:
easter seals ucp yanceyville nc
Sure, that makes sense. Naturally, a search for Easter Seals in North Carolina would lead to a Jewish spanko in California. (insert shrugging with perplexed face emoticon here)
To everyone who celebrates Easter, have a good one. And even if you don't, eat some chocolate anyway. Have a great weekend, y'all.
ROFLMHO!
ReplyDeleteOh Erica,
That last one and your answer to it is so funny. Some of the stuff you get. Good gravey, what are these people thinking? I love your answers.
Thank you for the good laugh today. I hope your blue mood will lift soon.
Bobbie Jo -- it will when it's good and ready. I've learned not to fight too hard. Meanwhile, making people laugh helps. :-)
ReplyDeleteI've been shamelessly devouring the mini Reese's peanut butter eggs all week. Hey I work out for a reason, right? :)
ReplyDeleteI ADORE that ginourmous Brown bunny featured on the Cadbury commercial. I want him as a pet! lol!
Kelly -- I just came from See's, where I went to buy some dark chocolate eggs for John. They were passing out free samples -- YES!
ReplyDeleteHello Erica you are so funny i laughed so hard hehehe :-) You give some GREAT come back's. I know something else you can do to an ass and that's an enema, I am not trying to be gross but some of my time is spent in the hospital as a patient and i am the one who gets this fun stuff NOT, done to me hehehe. I agree that spanking an ass is much better then anything else those stupid idiot's suggested. I am a milk chocolate girl myself, i am happy that you had some free chocolate samples, it's cool that you like dark chocolate cause i think it's bitter tasting. Maybe John will dress up as the Easter bunny and he will spank you hehehe, i got some imagination, Wishing you and John a fun and peaceful relaxing weekend, Love you big hugs from your naughty girl Jade xoxo
ReplyDeleteErica,
ReplyDeleteI'm jealous! You went to See's. I don't have one near me. Waaaah. Well, I did settle for some Haagen-Daz Java Chip.
Enjoy your See's and have a very good weekend with John.
Jade -- actually, I prefer milk chocolate myself. I bought dark for John, since he likes that. Whenever we get a box of chocolates, he eats all the dark and I eat the milk. Happy Easter!
ReplyDeleteBobbie Jo -- See's is my absolute favorite. But Haagen-Dazs is pretty damn good stuff too.
I just had 4 little "taste test" squares of a pseudo hershey bar filled with raspberry.. (there is a god).. so glad that god loves experimenting with chocolate... next on the list.. is sampling this hershey bar filled with caramel. I'm doing a test.. to see which one will probably sell more. (that's my story. . . and I'm sticking to it.)
ReplyDeleteLOL
My favorite Haagen-Dazs ice cream ever was a flavor called Bananas Foster. But I haven't found it in years, don't know if they make it anymore. :-(
ReplyDeleteThat was off topic lol, always enjoy reading your blog. It's good you can have a sense of humor with all these cyber idiots out there. Without laughter, where would we be?
Please explain what See's is. I've never heard of it before. It sounds like a wonderful chocolate emporium.
ReplyDeleteAs for online spanking, I've come to believe that means self-spanking. Hey, that's not you, girl.
Hugs,
Hermione
Thanks for another amusing "shame" post. These always crack me up.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh Erica.
ReplyDeleteI love dark lindt chocolate. They say it's much better for you than milk chocolate.
Hope you have a lovely long weekend.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
ERICA SCOTT !! Get in here young lady !!
ReplyDeleteThe EARS are missing off my chocolate Bunny !
I am SOOOOOOOOO gonna paddle your bottom !
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
;-D
Erica,
ReplyDeleteAh, that delectible, wonderful candy that a lady, Mary See, way, way back made and they keep it original. No junk it in except the sugar, cream, chocolate, butter, chocolate, milk, chocolate, oh, did I mention chocolate? Just wonderfull truffles, dark and milk chocolate covered nuts, caramel chews (if you like those) chocolate covered nut chews, and any other kind of delight you can come up with in a chocolate goodies store.
My favorite place to get the best candy you can get, IMO, and it is my favorite, too! If my memory serves me right, this candy originated in Sacramento back in the '20s or '30s, but I am not sure of that now.
Do you know where it originated from?
Zelle -- what, pray tell, is a "pseudo" Hershey bar? :-) John loves the Ghirdardelli dark chocolate & caramel bars.
ReplyDeleteLea -- don't you hate it when they discontinue something you love? So frustrating!
Hermione -- See's Candies is a chocolatier (did I spell that right?) here on the West coast, which was started in 1921 by Charles and Mary See. Their candy is primo quality and very popular.
I thought online spanking was cyber-spanking -- you know, via cam and IM and so forth. That's not me, either. :-)
Anonymous -- my pleasure.
aq -- nice try, but not enough exclamation points. :-)
Bobbie Jo -- our comments crossed. I think it was San Francisco.
ReplyDeleteRonnie -- arrgh! Sorry... skipped you. You're right, dark chocolate is much better for you than milk. I just wish I liked it more.
ReplyDeleteErica,
ReplyDeleteYep. I guess our comments did cross. :-)
Dark chocolate is somewhat of an aquired taste. If you want to go at it slowly, get a half box of your favorite Sees in dark chocolate once in a while. Just keep trying. I used to like milk chocolate, but I have come to love dark chocolate and it all depends on the % of cocao in it, too. Some brands are better than others, but I think you might like trying some of the See's dark chocolate truffles first. Yummmmm.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DARN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteErica,
ReplyDeleteDid you know that See's has a catalog out now?
Hopefully a nice weekend and some good chocolate has you feeling better. I know you are a little down about not seeing NG this Monday. Perhaps you can have a second session with Mr. Villain, now that he has been properly vetted.
ReplyDeleteHappy Easter to you! I hope you do not eat so much chocolate that you feel sick (not that I did or anything.)
ReplyDeletexx
Bobbie Jo -- I actually like See's dark chocolate. I could probably count the things I don't like at See's on one hand with fingers left over... they are close to complete perfection.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous -- Funny you should mention him... :-)
Poppy -- nope, I did not. Just a couple of pieces. Moderation is my middle name (OK, one of my middle names). :-)
I want some loonies!
ReplyDeleteAnd some choccie...
Emily
Emily -- girl, you've got one of the biggest loonies of all; that crazy anonymous commenter on your blog! You know, the one who won't share her drugs?
ReplyDeleteIf I'm having a blue day, I can just bring up this link and I feel better: http://ericascottlls.blogspot.com/2011/04/thou-shalt-not-laugh-at-thy-top.html.
ReplyDeleteHow do the panties get wrapped around one knee like that? That's something that takes a long time to ponder.
Rich -- that's a good question. I don't remember!
ReplyDelete"Hello. I am Dr. Rich Bum, Fetishist...Proctologist."
ReplyDeleteSounds like a tv commercial for some new rectal cream.
Craig -- a proctologist named Dr. Bum would not surprise me. After all, I've heard of a gynecologist named Dr. Beaver. :-)
ReplyDeleteMy favourite British author, Terry Pratchett really has an issue with exlamation marks - and you can find them across in his Discworld books.
ReplyDeleteThe one I love the most: 'And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head"(Maskerade)
Hope that you had a lovely weekend though. I stayed away from the chocolates - but I really did go a very good job on the hot cross buns...which has now taken residence in MY buns...
Hugs
Raven
Raven -- LOL! I think exclamation points (or bangs, as we called them in the typesetting industry) can be great for an occasional emphasis, but overused, they're as obnoxious as ALL CAPS.
ReplyDelete