Ah, Monday...

How I have missed thee. Of course, Wednesdays were good too, the past couple of weeks. But you guys know how I love my routines and comfort zones. Monday spankings are an old, dear, ouchy friend. Mr. D is a newer friend, but he's become very dear in a relatively short time.

I was in feisty mode today. FetLife continued to push my buttons right and left. First there was the idiot with the stolen picture (and BTW, I can't see it anymore -- because he's blocked me!!). Then there was a flame war over the use of Icy Hot with spankings. And then someone posted in the "FetLife Rants!" group about how much she hates fetish models. (Yeah, that again.) I tried and tried to resist the Icy Hot thread, honest I did. But after it reached three pages, I couldn't stand it anymore. So I wrote:

I'm not going to go so far as to say Icy Hot, capsaicin, etc. are harmful. However, if my top were to say to me, "How about if I rub some burning cream on your already burning bottom?", I'd reply, "Sure, right after you shove a habanero pepper up your ass."

And after that, I wrote for my status:

To the person who posted about how much she dislikes fetish models: It's OK, honey. We don't like you, either.

It's a good thing Mr. D came over right about then. I would have probably had several more people blocking me before the day was out. :-)

Oh, and I should mention he was late again. It seems he took exception to my bitching about it last week on the blog. So when he called me at 3:10, he said, "You want to know my ETA?" "Sure," I snarked, "what is it this time?" And he said:

"I'll get there when I get there! And then we're going to discuss your blog!"

Tsk. Guess a certain top got his shorts in a knot, hmmm?

Lovely, lovely long warm-up. And, while last week the implements were all wood, this week he mixed it up a bit and used leather as well. 

Still hurt like @#$%, though.

Yup, there was some cane in there too. By the end, I was clutching the sheets, scrunching my face in the comforter to avoid hollering, and saying "please" over and over. I don't even know what I'm saying it for. Please what? Please stop? Please don't stop? Please go slower? Please use something else? Please be my top forever and ever?

Then it was over and he pulled my panties back up. I wasn't crying this time, but I was shaky and I immediately curled into a ball onto my side. "Don't move," he said. "That's beautiful."

No more snark. No more tension. He then pulled the comforter around me and held me close. Said I could stay there as long as I needed to. I don't think there's ever a moment when I'm more vulnerable... or feeling so connected. For a while, the world makes sense again.

We're still trying to figure out why my computer doesn't like the little clips he shoots. For whatever reason, when he transfers them to my computer, they get corrupted somehow, and they constantly freeze and skip. And they absolutely will not load on my blog. However, I've been able to create a couple of nice screen captures from them. This one is for Ron, who was wondering if we play OTK, and yes, we certainly do. The photo is a favorite of mine, for so many reasons. :-)

Ready for the rest of my week now. Would you believe I'm still working on that beast of a 400-page statistics manual? But now that my head is clean and clear, I'm thinking the home stretch of it will be smooth and efficient.

More work tomorrow. Tonight, I sleep. Peacefully.

Further adventures in photo asshattery

No, no, never fear.... this is not another general rant about photo stealing/reposting/not identifying/etc. This is a very specific rant about a particular type of photo stealing. One that peeves me to no end.

OK, we've all discussed this to death on various blogs, and the general consensus seems to be that photos, once they hit the Internet, are going to be reposted and passed around and Tumblr'd and Flickr'd and so on and we can't do much about it. I've already stated my stand on this: I don't mind it, if the re-posters give credit somehow, if it's a photo that belonged to someone else or to a video company. Or at the very least, if the photo came with an identifier, like a website posted in the corner, don't crop that out! And if re-posters don't know where the photo is from, then don't say anything. But for crying out loud, don't claim the picture to be your own, complete with fake names and scenarios.

You see this on FetLife frequently. People will snatch a photo off a video site or off a model's blog, crop off any identifiers and then post it with a cute little caption, something like "I told Jenny what would happen if she talked back to me one more time." Chances are, "Jenny" is really Pixie or Sarah or whoever, and this clown has never been within 100 feet of her, let alone spanked her. It's annoying and stupid. And last Friday, I reached my tolerance limit.

A guy on Fet posted a photo that was very clearly Sierra Salem, back from her days with Dallas. She was standing in front of a mantelpiece with a red bottom. He captioned it, "Maria was a bad girl with my credit card." (eye roll) Then people started commenting to it and complimenting it. One idiot wrote, "Ooooh, caned too?" And the OP (original poster) wrote yes, she was caned and tawsed too, and she loved it. Oh, please!

So I commented, "That's not Maria, that is Sierra Salem." After me, a couple of others also IDed her as Sierra.

Usually, when these people get caught and called out, they do one of two things: 1) they take down the photo, or 2) they apologize and identify it properly. That's fine. But not this guy! No, he commented again, this time saying, "Maria is her real name. Been playing with her for 3 years now. Dallas and I share."

Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT???? Who did he think he was kidding? I have known Sierra Salem for eight years. I've shot with her, I was her seatmate on several plane flights, I even shared a hotel room bed with her (for sleeping, you pervs!). I know her full real name, and it is not Maria. And she's been out of the scene for a lot longer than three years. I know where she is living these days and it's nowhere near this clown.

Yeah, I know. This wasn't that important in the overall scheme of things. But this guy's arrogance really pissed me off. Obviously, he wasn't going to pay me any mind, and would continue insisting that his little fantasy was real. So I decided to pull out the big guns.

I copied the link to the photo and emailed it directly to Dallas. And I commented, "You might want to have a little talk with this guy. He claims you share your women with him." Then I sat back and waited.

Sure enough, within minutes, Dallas wrote a long, pithy comment on the photo. Called him a wannabe and a poser (and those were the nicer terms), and suggested that he catch the next rocket back to Planet Delusional. LOL!

After Dallas posted, several others chimed in and it became a free-for-all. When I logged in this evening and checked out the photo, it had 57 comments on it.

And yet, the guy still hasn't taken it down. He hasn't commented any further, but he hasn't taken it down. Perhaps, despite his Uber-Dommish profile, he secretly enjoys being humiliated.

Sometimes I wonder which is more accurate: Is it that these people are incredibly stupid, or do they think we're all stupid? Do they really think that no one will recognize who these women are? You can fool some of the people, but not all of the people.

Anyway, in this case, I do believe justice was served. :-D

Correspondence Hall of Shame, the New Year edition

Welcome the New Year with a fresh crop of lunacy!

I like to think that My training of submissives/slaves is very good.

And I like to think I'm 25. We all have our fantasies. What's your point?

I would love to soank you till it hurts

Is this meant to be a threat? It's supposed to hurt, fleabrain. Oh, and before you do it, learn how to spell it.

I very like your pix. are u into K9 sex also, beside BDSM ??

I've known a few dogs in my time, but I draw the line at the four-legged variety.

hi hunn you look hot and kinky if u like torture and extremely sadistic things i would like to talk?

Well, hunn, just reading this was torture enough, thanksmuch.

And finally...

you seem hot..if you are into Anal Sex or want too try, Daddy would be willing to teach or play with you?

1. I'm old enough to be your mother, you twit. I'm not calling you Daddy. 2. If suddenly pigs started flying and Sarah Palin got a PhD and I decided I wanted too [sic] try Anal Sex, it wouldn't be with you. 3. Fuck off.

In other news... Once again, I cannot access Chross's site. I can get to it via a web proxy site, but that's the only way. How annoying. Nevertheless, I was able to find out that I was Chrossed this week, for my Monday blog. His title for it was "A holy-crap-this-hurts-oh-my-god night." LOL! I did use that line, didn't I. I was being silly, but now, rereading that, I got a shock. Oh, SHIT. I sounded just like Anastasia Steele. Shoot me. Shoot me now.

Have a great weekend, y'all.

First spanking of 2013!

I had to wait all the way to January 2, dammit! (OK, I'm not really complaining. But I did read a whole lot of comments on FetLife about New Year's Eve/Day spankings and I wanted wanted wanted!)

Mr. D was late. Why am I mentioning this? Because Mr. D is always late. I tease him about it, because inevitably when he's due to turn up at my door, my phone rings and there's his sheepish voice on the other end. Hey, at least he's apologetic. John and I once had a friend who was never on time, and his flippant answer was "I'll get there when I get there." Hummmph. Anyway, I make sure I'm ready on time and then I just futz around on the computer or do some work until I get that call. Today, I told him he was constitutionally incapable of being punctual. He said I was asking for it. (gee, ya think?)

My snippy attitude continued when he arrived. I could hear him pressing on the doorbell, but he didn't press hard enough and it clicked, but only part of the chime rang. I opened the door and pointed to the buzzer. "You know, it's a very simple mechanism. You just press it." All in fun, you understand. He knew I was delighted to see him. :-)

Bottoms, ever notice how sometimes, for reasons unknown, your tolerance varies? You're insatiable one time, and the next time, it hurts like hell? I used to think it was hormonal, but I don't deal with monthly cycles anymore. Anyway... tonight was one of those holy-crap-this-hurts-oh-my-god nights. Not so much with his hand, but once he started with the implements, I was struggling. It wasn't any harder than usual; it was just my body tonight. Or perhaps my head, but I was in a good mood. Oh well. Always trying to explain things I can't explain.

He gave me little breaks. He reminded me to breathe, caressed my hair. But I still couldn't keep position well -- I reared up, twisted, kicked. "You're all right," he'd say. "You're OK." Somewhere within, I knew I was, but DAMN, it hurt.

And he keeps saying he feels it with me! The hell he does! I know he means it figuratively -- that when I let out a deep groan or writhe fiercely, he knows I'm really feeling it. He can see it and hear it. But no, he sure as @#$% doesn't feel it!

So tonight when he said it, I screeched, "No, you DON'T!" "Yes, I do," he replied, not missing a beat. Stubbornly, I repeated, "No, you do NOT."

"Don't argue with me," he said calmly. "Now tell me -- do I feel this one?" And he really smacked me one. "AAAAAGGGGH!!! Yessir!" I squeaked. "That's better," he smiled. Damn tops.

Eventually, I stopped struggling and gave in to it, breaking down and crying "Please.... please..." Then he knew how close I was. Then he knew he could finish.

He's so very gentle with me afterward. He wraps me up in the comforter, makes sure I'm warm. Holds me close, wipes my tears, fills my ears and brain with sweet, soothing words. I'm lost in sensation... tenderness and sensual caresses run parallel with the stinging and burning still assailing me, even though the spanking is over. For a very long time, all I can do is make sounds. Speaking coherently is out of the question.

Sex is a powerful connection. But so is this. People either get that or they don't. I'm so very glad that he does.

He couldn't stay too much longer -- sadly, he had a service to attend. So I watched him pack up his stuff.

Looks like the color went away, doesn't it? Nope. Here's how I looked, nearly five hours later:

Would you believe he's forgotten to bring back my panties two weeks in a row? I told him tonight he couldn't take them. He said we'd "discuss" that. Yeah. OK. He took them.

Perhaps I should just send him home one night with my entire panty drawer, what do you think? :-)

Happy New Year to you, Mr. D. I look forward to our first full year of spanking fun.

Happy 2013!

So how was everyone's New Year's Eve? What did you do? Spanking or no spanking? Quiet, raucous or somewhere in between?

Ours was definitely quiet. I brought dinner and dessert over, we ate, snuggled under a blanket and watched the annual Twilight Zone marathon until 11:30. (Year after year, it's still fascinating to watch William Shatner being plagued by monsters on an airplane wing, or Telly Savalas being killed by a malevolent talking doll.) John had champagne chilling, and at 11:45 he went into the kitchen, where I heard him cracking open a... can???

That's right. Look what John found at Whole Foods fancy-shmancy market, folks. Champagne in cans. Each one is a glassful.

OK, so technically, I shouldn't be calling it champagne; it's not really champagne unless it actually comes from the Champagne region in France. It's sparkling wine. You know, like you're supposed to say tissues, not Kleenex. Tough. I'm calling it champagne. Sue me.

"But Erica, how does canned champagne taste??"

Freaking delicious. I finished my glass before John finished his. His comment was, "This is surprisingly good." And the man is a very fussy wine collector, y'all. I would have had more of it had he bought more than two cans.

When I was younger, I used to watch the Dick Clark NYE countdown, but alas, he left us this year, and Ryan Seacrest (his replacement) is a dork. So we watched Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin on CNN instead. She was her typical charming and subtle self, repeatedly offering Anderson a blowjob and even trying to kneel in front of him, but he kept kneeling to block her. This went on for about 15 minutes; she was relentless, and he was clearly flustered. I kept hoping he'd yell, "Will you leave me the @#$% alone, you skank? I'm gay!" But he's a noted newsman, after all. Had to maintain a modicum of decorum (which wasn't easy, what with that crazy woman going at him). He was pretty funny; at one point, she was shrieking, "Don't you want one? Don't you WANT one?" and he quipped, "Well, it would be a first!"

Nope, no spanking at midnight. But kisses are lovely, too. :-) And tomorrow, first spanking of 2013. Happy Me.

Hope everyone had fun. :-)