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Monday, January 19, 2015

Fantasy vs. reality

OK, we all love fantasy. Even pragmatically minded pedants like me enjoy a bit of it now and then. After all, everything we read and watch is some sort of fantasy (unless it's non-fiction). TV shows from the 1950s presented a fantasy of a perfect family. Romance novels depict attractive people in relationships that always end up happily ever after (as do children's fairy tales). And spanking stories/videos are about fantasy as well, which is why they're so popular. Right?

Oh, but... Speaking as a spanko bottom female, I gotta tell you, some of these ideals are tough to live up to. I've read a whole lot of stories over the years, and I've gleaned a general pattern that many seem to follow. Granted, I eat them up as much as the next person, but sometimes, I have to take a step back and giggle. Because that bar is set awfully high.

According to the M/F spanking story paradigm, here are some general givens:

1. Spanko bottom women always look like this. OK, the hair color varies, but you get the idea. (Took this from Bad Girls Need Good Spanking.)

2. Spanko bottom women are always submissive at heart. Oh, we may start out feisty and combative, but we have this deep-seated need to have a man put us in our place, keep us in line, and make us belong to them. 

3. SBW are always multi-orgasmic, right from the start. Oh, and if you are taking a virgin? It's OK. Maybe she'll have about two seconds of pain, but she'll be so turned on by your masterful behavior, it'll be good for her immediately. 

4. Likewise, SBW are highly proficient at oral, instinctively. It's our submissive natures and desire to please, don'cha know. And we always swallow.

5. SBW will take anything from your huge member to a massive plug up their butts willingly and easily. No lube? No problem! Just use our natural juices. Because, of course, we're always in a state of gushing wetness. We'll always love it, too.

6. SBW can take any kind of spanking, any kind of implement, anytime. We're never tired. We're never sore. We never use a safeword. Miraculously, we also never get injured.

7. Regarding anal play, we never need any sort of preparation. We're always open and ready and squeaky clean for you down there, so be as spontaneous about that activity as you like. You'll never, er, encounter anything.

8. Also, if you're into putting us in diapers for age-play, no worries. All we ever do is pee.

9. SBW will always encounter dominant men, without even trying.

10. And speaking of those dominant men, they will always be skillful at spanking, will know exactly what they're doing with implements, and will always know precisely when is enough. They are mind readers, after all. SBW can count on this.


OK, are you done snickering now? Here's the part you'll hate me for, the bursting of the fantasy bubble. But ya know, it's what I do, because I'm kind of a brat that way. So, a dose of reality:

1. Spanko bottom women bleed.

2. Likewise, spanko bottom women gag. SBW poop. SBW can get bloated, cranky, crampy and miserable in any of dozens of ways and not feel like playing every damn minute of every day (and night).

3. SBW have hard limits.

4. SBW don't necessarily want to have a D/s dynamic. Some of us just enjoy being spanked.

5. Those uber-sexy back-to-front moves and maneuvers a top performs sexually on a SBW may very well give her a not-so-sexy, raging urinary tract infection.

6. Rough, improperly prepared back door play probably won't result in those screaming orgasms you want. More likely, she'll end up screaming in pain in the ER with anal fissures.

7. SBW have weight fluctuations, stretch marks, cellulite, moles, and all sorts of other mere mortal things. Oh, and a whole lot of us have (gasp) pubic hair.

8. SBW who have never performed oral sex before will probably not do a very good job of it. Like everything else, it requires practice. 

9. Some SBW are actually not anal erotic. (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)

10. And finally... SBW over 30 actually exist. (And over 40, and over 50...) 

(sigh) Sorry, kids. Reality is not pretty. I guess that's why we have fantasies, huh? You may now return to yours. :-D


  1. I agree with most of what you said, but I think all of the SBW'a I've played with are beautiful regardless of their age or body type (and I've been fortunate to play with the full range of both).

    At least in this Spankos world reality beats fantasy everyday of the week.

  2. Michael -- now that's a good answer. :-)

  3. Very well said, Erica. Viva reality! You just can't make this stuff up. ;-)

  4. Bobbie Jo -- well, actually, it seems that you can! ;-)

  5. Erica,

    Well said and well just well said....diapers, not my scene but love your comments, you are just an incredible lady and so in tune with the this post.

  6. Ron -- (giggling) I know it's naughty of me, but I can't help it. I have seen countless scenes over the years where the top puts a bad girl in a diaper, and of course, she always pees in it, because humiliation and submission and so forth. And I think to myself, every time, "But what if she has to poo??" But she never does. (Not that I'm eager to read that, mind you.)

  7. Hi Erica -- This topic is AWESOME :-) I agree with everything you said. You are right reality is not pretty. That's why I like fantasy, it always seems perfect :-) Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade/ Emily Jean

  8. Jade -- that's why it's fantasy. :-)

  9. The way I see it some uber shallow assholes who are MORE than vocal about preferring to ONLY top "HOT" looking women with Playboy centerfold worthy bodies deserve to have their bubbles burst!

    NO way...NO how would I ever agree to wear an adult diaper for some one else's pleasure. To each his own, but NOT part of my menu. :)

  10. Kelly -- I can't really, in all fairness, put down men who want attractive women. I mean, I like attractive men, too. For me, the annoyance with spanking fantasies is more about the stuff that is pretty much physically impossible (or would cause grievous harm in reality if attempted!).

  11. Ditto what M. Valentine wrote. I wish more writers featured hunks and sexettes who were neither that hunky nor hour-glass shaped. The usual tropes (plot devices) are getting very worn.

    Which doesn't mean I get a free pass on the gym.

  12. Jon -- they are worn indeed, but it seems they are timeless. (sigh)

  13. Can I play? :)

    From what I understand, every woman will always be wearing a short flippy skirt. At no point will a woman ever be strong enough to physically fight off a man in a non consensual scene, after all, these are all youthful, fit young ladies. In the fantasy world no woman would report this type of assault to the police.

    Now for a couple of corrections, Erica. I have read stories of girls as old as 22 getting spanked, so you are wrong to think that older women don't take part in the written fantasy. And, I'm sorry to break this to you, but women don't poop!! That's a known fact, I think I even read it in the bible, so I'm really not sure what crazy material you have been reading.

    On a more serious note, I once wrote a story that was the antithesis of the norm. It got a lot of good feedback, but I was also criticized for emphasizing the woman's appearance. It was a double edged sword really, because I wanted to make sure that people knew that it wasn't the Barbie doll blonde cheerleader getting spanked.

  14. Rich -- oh for fuck's sake, Windsor. Twenty-two???????????

    Ya know, it doesn't matter if you write a story that is 10,503 pages long, incorporates every fetish known to man/womankind, has copious quantities of sex in every position, from tender to rough, every orientation, every implement, every role, every everything -- someone's gonna criticize it!

  15. Why oh why must you burst our fantasy bubbles! ;) Isn't that what fantasies are for.

  16. Enzo -- because I'm a little s**t that way. ;-)

  17. LOL. And with that I shall walk back towards the fantasies.

    In all honestly I understand these stereotypical stories get worn, but that is why when you come across stories with imperfect characters it is like finding gold!