PLEASE NOTE: This blog contains adult subjects and content, and because of Google/Blogger's recent nonsense, I HAVE MOVED TO WORDPRESS. For my enlightened friends who wish to visit me in my new home, it's Please bookmark it!

The rest of you? Please take your judge-y selves somewhere more wholesome, like here:

Go on.... shoo!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Is it possible...

... to be blissfully content, yet sad, at the same time?

I am.

Had a wonderful, intense and emotionally cleansing evening with New Guy. But now I won't see him again until Monday, June 13. That means the next three Mondays will be New Guy-less. He's going away on a long trip across several states to visit family. Part flying, part road trip.

I will miss him.

Today was one of those days. Nothing wrong, just me feeling cranky. Everyone was annoying. Went to the gym... everywhere I went, there were big macho idiots slamming huge weights onto the floor and making such hideous noises, I kept thinking I was going to hear a baby scream any minute because surely they were giving birth. I went to the dumbbell station where they have the smaller ones -- there was a single 8-pound, 10-pound and 12-pound dumbbell. WTF happened to their mates? What was I supposed to do with one dumbbell? Argh.

Finally found a couple of matched pairs (had to wander around a bit; naturally, people used them and didn't return them to their proper spot) and went to the spot where I usually do my arms... someone was there already. So I went somewhere else, and shortly into my reps, a guy came over and started working just a couple of feet from me... and he stank. Christ. The things one has to go through to stay in shape. Somehow, I managed to finish what I was doing without gifting the gym carpet with my breakfast.

Back home, this dreadful woman on FetLife was spewing opinionated drivel right and left, long sanctimonious diatribes about how it's WRONG for spanking parties to allow the "pros" (the quotes were hers) to do pay sessions there. What freaking business is it of hers if people do pay sessions in the privacy of their hotel rooms? Nearly everyone was disagreeing with her -- one woman actually told her "Mind your own business, Church Lady." Ha! But even that didn't shut her up; just kept up her blathering, insisting she had a right to her two cents. So I posted, "Who says money doesn't buy what it used to? Look at all the BS we got for just two cents." She didn't respond to that... yet. I'm sure she'll come up with a lengthy rebuttal when she's drinking her brew tomorrow morning.

I'm telling you, people get on my nerves. I was more than ready for New Guy this evening. It didn't take him more than five minutes to discover I was brimming with attitude and he had his work cut out for him.

Even my panties were cranky.

Look closely. Can you see what's written on them? :-)

Of course, they didn't stay on very long.

Why do tops ask, "Did that hurt?" Don't they know? Can't they tell? Do we have to spell everything out for them, for heaven's sake? :-Þ

It was a very long scene, a lot of implements. Everything is a blur -- I just know it hurt (yes, it hurt, NG). And I welcomed it. I was fuming at first, but I wasn't angry at him, just crabby in general. He knew it, and he kept pushing. Listened to my sounds changing, going from bitching to screaming into the cushion to ultimately whimpering. The final ten with the wooden paddle brought the tears.

He goes from tough to tender in a matter of seconds. I love that.

I kept my head buried for a long time as he held me. I felt foolish, but I couldn't stop the tears from dribbling. Now that the hard shell was broken and I was feeling vulnerable, the thought of three weeks without him felt overwhelming. Silly of me. Such a baby. But I couldn't help it.

Later after I'd recovered, somehow I ended up back over his lap. Seems he took exception to something or another I said; fancy that. Oh, I remember -- he was eating Hershey's Nuggets and throwing the wrappers on the carpet. I asked him if he was raised in a barn.

"I would think you'd be sore by now," he teased. "What makes you think I'm not?" I snapped. Hummph. Like it would make a damn bit of difference whether I were sore or not??

The second scene was even more intense than the first. Guess we had to go for it; after all, it has to tide us over for three weeks.

My computer chair does not feel very pleasant right now; I'm sitting slumped way down, leaning back with just my tailbone and upper cheeks resting in the seat. Absolutely horrible posture... oh well. No one can see me. Good thing, as my hair is a wild tangle and I have mascara smeared under my eyes. And this goofy grin on my face, even though I have a lump in my throat as well.

I really am a piece of work. I don't expect anyone to understand me; I don't understand myself half the time. But I sure do appreciate the love. :-)

Sooooo... in the next three weeks, I will focus on getting my book done. I'm so close now, final stretch. Two weeks from this coming Saturday, I will have Spanking Court again. And then poof, before I know it, New Guy will be back. 

And he's already told me when he comes back, boy, am I gonna get it.



  1. I've often heard exasperated parents affectionately address their offspring as "crankypants," but never thought I'd see actual, and actually adorable, cranky panties.

    I'm glad there was an effective remedy at hand. And at implement, too.

    I must say, though, the line about the musclehead about to drop a foal is one of my favorite new Ericaisms!

  2. Excellent post, good luck with your book.

  3. Church lady - LOL! You gave her some good comebacks!

    I've never understood people who need to invade your personal space when there are plenty of spots to work out other than where you are. A power thing, I guess.

    I Love the panties!

  4. I want a pair of pout panties! Mine would probably be pouting due to separation anxiety.

    I noticed the remotes next to you in the picture and had the naughty idea you were using them to mute NG or get him to change implements as if surfing channels. *grin*

    "He goes from tough to tender in a matter of seconds." Sigh. Michael is like that, too. So wonderful!

  5. I feel your pain--not the physical kind--the kind that comes with knowing you're going to have to go without for a while. It may only be three weeks, but I wouldn't want to go three weeks without the staples of my diet for that long, lol. Or spanking...

    It's wonderful that NG knows you so well and knows how to cater to your moods. We all have them, but not everyone can exorcise them so effectively. Spanking is really good for that!

    I'm glad to hear that the book project is progressing. That's very exciting--but maybe also a little scary?

    Oh, those church ladies! They'll get their two cents in every time. Holier than thou...

    I'm up early this morning, but will probably go back to bed at some point. Didn't sleep all that well for some reason. Glad that you posted something. :-) It's always a pleasure to read your posts--especially when you're cranky!

  6. Erica,

    I know about "cranky". I was not exactly on top of it either yesterday.

    Is there any chance "Villian" can ease the having to do without NG for so long? I just hope you can get at least some release from your disappointment. Spanking Court will help.

    Oh, and those that have to be blasting others! I like your line back to all the negative blathering. Good one!

    Keep working on that book until it is done and that will keep you rather busy, I would think. You just might have most of it done in three weeks; maybe even completed.

    Oh, and I bet you will really get it when NG is back. :-)

  7. Erica,

    The panties are soooo cute! I'm sorry you won't be seeing NG for a bit. Hopefully the weeks will go by fast, especially with Spanking Court in there.


  8. Hi Erica, I am VERY sorry that you won't be seeing NG for 3 week's that SUCKS :-( But you will have your book and Spanking Court to keep you busy and your mind off of it, before you know it it will be NG time again YAY :-) I am EXCITED and wondering what type of scenario your going to be doing this time with Spanking Court? I Love your pouty pantie's they are so CUTE, You have the COOLEST clothe's :-) I always look forward to reading your blog cause it's the BEST, Love you and sending you big hugs always xoxo From your naughty girl Jade

  9. Know exactly what you are saying, and for that I can only offer hugs. But...I want one of those panties...pleeaase??


  10. Wolfie -- yes, I laughed out loud when I found those panties. They are so ME.

    Joeyred -- thank you!

    Hermione -- I don't think I would have minded the guy invading my personal space so much if his stink hadn't been invading my personal nostrils.

    Season -- Victoria's Secret, chickie! Oh, and I'll have to remember those tips about the remotes.

    Dana -- yes, the book project being this close to fruition is a little scary. I've put a year-and-a-half into working on it... it means a great deal to me.

    Bobbie Jo -- The Villain is a very busy man. But at least I'll get some relief at SC.

    Beth -- you know, I used to go months without scening. Now, three weeks sounds like forever. I am so dreadfully spoiled.

    Jade -- at Spanking Court, I think we will pick up where we left off last time. After all, I was extremely rude to the Court Disciplinarian and the bailiff. :-)

    Raven -- hugs are good! And I know you know.

  11. For the Church lady, I always like the put-down from Blake's 7:

    "You are indeed entitled to your opinion; it's your delusion that the rest of us are entitled to it too that causes offence."


  12. Al -- freaking brilliant! :-D

  13. Hi Erica: After reading your post, I moved to transferring some more of my LP collection to the computer. It seemed appropriate to transfer "Don't Worry, be Happy"
    Sounds like you need to be spanked at least once a day to get you out of this funk. Maybe you should get a nearby friend who can be your designated spanker whenever needed. I am certain many people would volunteer to help you fight the grumps. Unfortunately, I live too far away to help.
    hope working and completing the book will take you back into happy land.
    keep smiling
    Happy Spanking whenever the next occurs

  14. Red -- welllll, you know, I think every day would be too much, for me anyway. Once a week is a lovely treat and a necessary mood booster.

    The funk is part of me. It comes and it goes. Right now, I feel OK, if a bit tired and sore. :-)

  15. To orate through undergarments is a true gift. Man will never find a way to keep you quiet and that's a good thing.


  16. Jon -- I suppose some Uber-Dom sorts would say that a ball gag would keep me quiet. However, they'd never get close enough to me to use it. :-)

  17. Of course us Tops ask how it feels, as the responses to the question (even if it remains unanswered strictu sensu) are often so enlightening/amusing! :-)))

  18. Ah, fiddle sticks. I was hoping Villian could at least come once. Yeah, I suppose he is busy.

    How about espanks? Would that help? :-)

    I have the sense, though, you will be busy enough to make the time go faster.

  19. Sorry for your temporary NG void. But sooo envy your "sit" status! No doubt the sore butt and the expected temporary missing of the sore made you less tolerant of the day to day BS you encountered. I am sure to get that similar sitting experience the end of next month after taking another trek to your state. :)

    El Stinko at the gym would have royally pissed me off. I'm ignorant enough to remark out loud "Jesus Ch@@@@!" Or WHO in the F@!$ reeks?! Foul body stenches are unacceptable to this bitch! lol!

  20. And one more of my ramblings...What's with the hostility directed at the "pros?" Some of them told me people have taken preconceived dislikes of them before even meeting/speaking with them. Who cares how people get their thrills at a spanking party? From what I've heard, there should be plenty of spankings to be had...paid for or otherwise. So Church Lady and various other naysayers/need to F off.

  21. MrJ -- (snort) Really, what's so enlightening about "yes, it @#$%ing hurts"? :-)

    Kelly -- I know who this particular Church Lady is and I have had the unfortunate experience of meeting her in person. In her case, the hostility is sour grapes, pure and simple, couched in holier-than-thou morality.

  22. Trust me, today isn't one of those days just for you. Everyone IS annoying! I was ready to strangle a few people throughout my day at work. Lol. As far as Church Lady, that thread just keeps growing and growing. I check FL and I'm behind a whole page in comments from the previous night. Sheesh. Good luck with NG when he gets back and has three weeks worth of topiness stored up! Lol.

  23. Lea -- it really took on a life of its own, didn't it? I notice CL hasn't come back, though. I admit, a thread like that is kinda fun once in a while. It allows me to get my bitch on and feel completely justified. :-D

  24. I like the turn-of-phrase "get my bitch on" (and feel completely justified) "-)

  25. Dana -- girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. ;-)

  26. ***"to be blissfully content, yet sad, at the same time?"***

    Oh boy.. I know that feeling well.. I get that feeling so bad at the end of a party where I've gotten to play non-stop with my Chicago Top.. it's bittersweet to head home at the end of those parties.. You're blissfully happy, and damn sure sad at the same time..

    I know you're gonna miss NG.. but hells bells we're gonna have our withdrawal symptoms too! You'll have to come up with some real thought provoking blogs the next few weeks to keep the restless natives in line around here... LOLOLOLOL

    TRAVEL SAFE NG!!!! You're loved and appreciated around here! (smiles)

  27. Zelle -- indeed he is! OK, so I'm open for ideas. What topics haven't been done to death and back, resurrected and done to death again? Sometimes, this blogging thing is challenging.

  28. Hmmmm. Time to think outside of the box and where do you start? Right now I am stumped as to what can be discussed that hasn't been up to ying/yang. Maybe eventually someone will come up with a different take on a common subject??

    (draws a -------)