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Monday, December 2, 2013

Magazine startle

I'm behind in some of my magazines, so this morning I was reading the September issue of Self while having breakfast. Specifically, was perusing one of their mini-articles, "10 sex facts you need to know" -- ten random tidbits about sex. Such as 1) Americans, on average, have sex three times a week (Really??) and 2) Sex can alleviate migraines (I've heard this, but who wants sex when they have a migraine?). However, it was #10 that jumped out at me.

"People who enjoy BDSM-type stuff, such as handcuffs and spanking, have a higher sense of well-being than those who don't, research in the The Journal of Sexual Medicine suggests. Fascinating, but we still say Christian Grey had some serious baggage in Fifty Shades."

Um... Self writers? Fifty Shades was a piece of badly written fiction; contrary to what many unenlightened readers think, Christian Grey does not represent the typical kinkoid. The only thing he represents is a sad and sick cliché.

Higher sense of well-being? I'll stipulate to that. The key word, I think, is enjoy. If people fully embrace their kinky sides without shame, and happily and consensually engage in their activity of choice, I can see how the endorphins and feelings of bliss and fulfillment can overall enhance one's mindset.

I suppose one could wax psychological for days over the paradox that pain, loss of control and (for some) humiliation/embarrassment would equate to higher well-being. But I'm not going to question it. I know it's true for me. And I will look forward to my next dose of pleasure.

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend, survived Thanksgiving and Black Friday, etc. One more month and all this @#$% is over for another year, yeah!! :-)


  1. Erica, I have always believed that a 'spanko', always had a higher I;Q. than the average person. I know one Hermione, is a MENSA. We as a group are higher thinkers on average. Erica also remember 'Tis the season to be jolly, Fa la la, La, la la la.' XXX luv ya.

  2. Six -- I wish I could agree with you. But I have met some spankos who are as far from Mensa as one can get! I think we cover a broad spectrum of types of people -- varying levels of education, careers, religions/cultures, ages, etc.

  3. Nice comments and oh yeah I forgot we think the opposite about the holiday season....distaste is huge for the shopping but love the lights and the family time.
    We said my friend

  4. Ron -- I think the lights are pretty. Family time? Not so much.

  5. The Mensa thing rings many bells, though Erica's counter-point is undoubtedly valid.
    What I would add, based on some - ahem - evidence to the endorphin/bliss thing is the notion of stress management; I mean management, over time, not just incidental relief. In that sense, though the expression is pretty sterile, I guess there is siome trith in 'well-being'.

  6. MrJ -- the "well-being" thing, for me, is more than stress relief, I think. Looking back over the past nearly 18 years, I realize that, before I got into the spanking scene and embraced that side of myself, I never felt as fully alive, attractive or sexy as I have since. :-)

  7. I'm sure SELF writers are only using Fifty Shades as a popular example their readers understand. That being said, it's nice to know we are healthier, mentally.

  8. Craig -- I suppose that's true. I just hate the idea of Fifty Shades being used as any kind of example -- except a sample of terrible writing!

    1. Hey Erica,

      Hope you don’t mind if I toss in my two pennies on the subject. Sure the 50 Shades writing style wasn’t the award winner of literary masterpieces, but I read all three of them and still found some entertainment value from the story that was attempted to be portrayed. One thing I was hoping for were a heck of a lot more spankings… Nonetheless:

      What I found even more fascinating was that I could stand in the Wal-Mart books aisle and notice the young girls giggling to each other while looking over these 50 Shades books, and after they looked around and seemed to think that nobody was apparently watching they would throw them into their shopping carts and scurry like little mice toward the checkout line. To me this represents the “mainstream” to which our subtle little TTWD has possibly invaded.

      Oh, by the way, have you checked out Cosmo lately? Hardly a month goes by when there’s not at least a mention of our little hobby. Self magazine might just be scratching the surface.

      Best regards and Happy Spanksgiving!

      Jack P.

    2. Jack -- Cosmo has spanking references often, I agree! :-)

      Unfortunately, it's not just the young girls looking for giggles reading 50 Shades. It's grown women -- housewives, buttoned-down executives, moms, etc. -- who think this is an accurate representation of what we do and the type of people we are. And that makes me nuts. (That, along with the fact that E L James made a freaking fortune on that drivel.)

  9. Hi Erica -- I know that us spankos are smart :-) But you my very dear friend,Have the highest IQ of all my friends :-) That little magazine quote that you shared was funny
    Give my ass a little smack LOL :-) Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade

  10. Jade -- I don't know how high my IQ is, but I'm pretty dumb about certain things! :-) Thank you, though.

  11. I've seen different articles over the years referencing the same sort of statistics. It doesn't surprise me. How could you not feel better when you're in relationships where you don't have to be ashamed and hide a part of yourself for fear of judgement? Increased communication= increased satisfaction, IMO.