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Thursday, December 5, 2013

Those awkward family moments

This post was inspired by a friend on FetLife, who wrote about a random memory from her childhood. She was in the back seat, and her parents were up front, gossiping about another couple. Apparently, the husband spanked the wife, and they thought this was "terrible." The child then piped up from the back, "Unless she liked it."

Imagine the shock. ("Where did that come from?? Whose child is this?")

Ah, if only they knew. Anyway, in this season of family togetherness (tongue firmly planted in cheek there), I got to thinking about those moments many of us have had with parents, siblings, etc. regarding our kinks. 

My mother was the queen of TMI, in all aspects. She had no filters, and she used to discuss her sex life with me wayyyy too openly for my comfort. On the one hand, it was kind of neat having a mother who wasn't uptight and prudish about sex, but on the other hand, I'd find myself thinking LalalalaIdon'twanttohearthislalala when she told me certain things. I'll spare you those details.

Years ago, she and my stepdad used to watch some talk show on cable, hosted by Bob Berkowitz -- I'd never seen it, but it was all about sex and people's sex lives. Mom and M were fascinated by this show and my mother was constantly telling me about what they'd just seen and heard, and what people were into. I guess the show was pretty open and graphic.

Anyway, one afternoon, Mom and I were out having coffee, and she was going on and on as usual about the Berkowitz show, and what all those naughty people were doing. She talked about the porn, the toys, the bondage, etc., and I basically sat and squirmed. Then she said musingly, "You know what I really don't get? That whole spanking thing."

I damn near choked on my sip of coffee.

"I mean," she continued, "that's pain! Who wants pain? What's sexy about that?"

Oh, Mother. I do not want to have this conversation with you. So I just shrugged and said I didn't know. But I was dying to mutter, "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it, Ma."

Looks like my proclivities aren't genetic, at least not from my mother's side! I wonder about my dad sometimes. I mean, he led a pretty wild Hollywood life. And when he passed away, I did find the writings of the Marquis de Sade among his books. Then again, he was an avid reader and had hundreds of books. It could have been quite meaningless.

On a side note, I also found a t-shirt in one of his drawers, and printed on the front was "Twenty-five years of S&M." You can imagine my reaction to this. What the hell was that about?? I finally had the courage to ask my former stepmother about it. She laughed.

Turns out those shirts were printed up when Dad's best friend and his wife celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. Their names? Sheila and Mike.

I never did have the nerve to ask S about whether or not my dad was into anything kinky. I guess some things are best left unknown.

How about you guys? Anyone have any similar family stories to share?


  1. Ericalove: I got tired of my eldest sister's TMI boasts of her wild youth in the 60's so I told her a small taste of T.T.W.D. and mentioned at the close that this wasn't in the 60's or 70's, but 2 weeks ago :)

  2. Erica, on another subject matter. You are sometimes apprehensive about this upcoming festive seasonally holidays. There is interesting video, I would like you to see on You Tube music. Its called JOHN LENNON HAPPY XMAS (War is Over). It was written by John Lennon, and Yoko Ono. There are several versions of it, sung by a variety of singers. I would like your opinion of it. I personally liked it. It has been considered at one time a protest song.

  3. Bob -- oh my! I guess that shut her up, huh? LOL

    Six -- I know the song well. It's a beautiful song, and one of the few Xmas songs I like. It makes me sad, though. In three days, it will be the 33rd anniversary of John's violent death.

    1. Erica, thank you agreeing with me. The BEATLES, all of them, were one of a kind. the best of that kind. I am pleased I lived in their era. XXX Luv ya.

  4. I used to watch Real Personal with Bob Berkowitz at the time. As I recall, it was live on the east coast and people used to call in with questions and comments, etc. It was fascinating. Especially in that pre-reality show era. (This was the early 1990's), I remember the spanking episode (there might have been more than one now that I think about it) like it was yesterday. The couple semi-disguised themselves by appearing in silhouette (That's probably not the correct term). They didn't disguise their voices which I thought was interesting because it was remotely possible that someone who new them could have been watching and recognize their voices. The husband was the top. You could tell that Bob wasn't a spanko because at one point he asked: "How do you spank her" and the response was "very well, thank you". With no follow-up. That said they went on to discuss things like how they were able incorporate spanking into their lives since they had children and how they discovered that they were into spanking in that pre-internet era. Thanks for making me take this trip down memory lane.


  5. Mike -- how fun! I would imagine my folks saw that one as well. :-)

  6. This isn't family related, but it is funny just the same. I teach in my church on the weekends and one time I intended to say "Facebook." There was just one problem: I said "Fetlife" instead. (I wonder what color my face was at the moment!) I corrected it quickly and so far, I believe everyone has forgotten about it. Everyone except me. I still laugh when I think about it.

  7. Bobbie Jo -- not the first time I've heard of the Facebook/Fetlife switch! Embarrassing, for sure. :-)

  8. My mother shared WAY TMI for my prudish taste as a teenager. I understand completely! Strange that I never heard about the Berkowitz show. I guess I probably wouldn't have liked it, lol.

  9. Dana -- it may be that, at the time, it was a little-known show. I don't recall. As for mothers and TMI, yeah. I never could unhear my mother once saying that an old lover "played her like a Stradivarius."

  10. If my family members are into anything, I'd rather not know about it. Lol. I still scrunch my face at seeing my parents kiss as I did when I was 8. Eww, get a room!

  11. This doesn't have to do with spanking but when I was 17 I was in the car with my mother and she got in a fender bender her fault. After the police report, I said Dad is going to flip out. She said, yep this is going to cost me a month of blowjobs. I just sat there stunned and didn't say a word.

  12. Lea -- I used to gag when my mom and stepdad kissed. Of course, they were super mushy and obvious about it!

    Tony -- YOW! That really is TMI, for sure! lol

  13. My dad adored the old Katzenjammer Kids comics, and through the years I came to ascertain it was because they got spanked all of the time. I'm certain my proclivity came from his side of the family.

  14. Blushin -- that comic would never fly these days, in our PC times!