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Wednesday, September 10, 2014

All pain is not equal

Yeah, I know what you're thinking... DUH! Of course the pain of stubbing your toe in the middle of the night on your way to the bathroom is different from a hefty bottom slap from a trusted play partner. That's not what I meant, though.

Even within the kink realm, pain is always in flux, as is tolerance. Pain from a strike in one area can deliver a blissful burst of endorphins, whereas a strike just a few inches away can make the mind explode with agony and panic, even if you know it's coming.

Wanna make it even more complicated? Throw in the "one person's pain is another's pleasure," and you have very tangled webs through which to navigate.

Y'all know by now I'm pretty much a bottom girl/upper thigh girl; I don't welcome pain elsewhere. However, in the last year or so, I discovered that I love to hate the occasional "thigh turkey" -- the single slap to the front/inner thigh that blossoms into a hand print. And in Vegas, as evidenced by photos, I took a bit of thigh punishment, hand only, leaving marks that lasted for over a week. Steve, of course, was fascinated by those pictures. (uh oh...)

I hadn't seen him last week, so it was wonderful having him back yesterday, catching up with everything. We had our usual intensely delicious OTK hand spanking, during which he so admired my new underwear that he wanted to get a picture of it:

Moving to the bedroom, I was still full of sass. I don't know why, but it seems that every time he tries to raise my window shade, he has a hard time with it. After he'd fumbled with it for several seconds, I said, "It's a shade, not particle physics." Yeah, that went over well.

He declared it "leather and wood" day, pulling out several implements of each variety. During the leather phase, he kept expressing his appreciation for the cows who provided such fine toys. "I love cows," he mused, which made me retort, "You should be careful where you say that -- in certain parts of the country that could be misconstrued. Do you love sheep, too?" 

Aaaaand then we moved to the wood -- specifically, that @#$%ing licking stick that I hate so much. He brandished it at me, making sure I saw it, and said, "THIS is for your mouth." To which I answered, "You want me to suck on it?" I never know when to stop, it seems.

But daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn -- I had zero tolerance for that thing yesterday! I don't know what happened, but I could barely take it. I couldn't lie still, I twisted and squirmed and pleaded for him to stopstopstoppleaseplease. Granted, that thing hurts like hell, but usually, I can absorb it. Yesterday, I couldn't. Fortunately, he then moved on to the wooden paddle and the spoon (fortunately????), and I handled them a little bit better, but not much.

"You're off your game today!" he teased, lightening up a little. I was. It happens sometimes. 

Then it was time for a little experiment. He had me roll onto my back, and as I faced him, he gently stroked my thighs and said, "We're going to enhance this area a little." Enhance?? Oh, crap.

He gave me four brisk slaps with his palm, two on each thigh, well spaced out. I jerked on the bed and fisted the spread, but I was able to let them sink in, feeling the sting and warmth spread.

Then he tried the implements. Lightly. It was the first time I'd ever let anyone do that, and if it was going to be anyone, it would be Steve. But I knew, instantly, that this wasn't for me. The pain was bad. I don't mean good/bad, love-to-hate-it bad. I mean just plain fucking BAD.

And I gasped, "Yellow."

That was a first, too. He heeded it immediately, of course. I didn't want him to stop, but I did need it to be even lighter. So he picked up the spoon, which was the lightest of the implements, and gave me a few gentle taps. But by then, I was done with this, and he could tell. He put everything down and gathered me up into his arms. I then blurted, "I didn't like that!!" and burst into tears. 

"We won't do that again, ever ever ever," he murmured to me. "Thank you for trusting me." I did. I do. I had been curious, but now I know... except for the occasional "turkey," thigh fronts are out. At least for implements. There was nothing sensual or erotic or in the least bit pleasing about that pain, for me. It was teeth-drilling pain. I suppose if I were into pure punishment scenes, that would be what's called for. But that's not how I roll.

After I'd calmed down, I told him it was OK to take a few pictures. Always the exhibitionist...

Don't worry... the bottom got plenty of attention too.

We will be switching to Monday for the next two weeks. Next week, because he has a work commitment on Tuesday. And the following Monday is my birthday... he says he wants to see me/play with me on the exact date. :-) Christ, another birthday. Didn't I just have one??

Tomorrow, lunch and post-party recollections with Alex and SpankCake!


  1. Describing the way that we feel about different kinds of pain is a complicated exercise in our world. The difference between a bottom/submissive/masochist and the way that people enjoy things that hurt makes it harder, as does the fact that some people want to do things that you actually don't like because they have a deeper level of sadism and the whole thing is a mess to talk about.
    This post has got me thinking, though. I might have one of my own about this soon! ❤︎

  2. Alex -- I have had people insist that I'm a masochist. I don't identify with that at all. My pain tolerance is far too specific and conditional, I think. See you tomorrow! :-D

  3. CUTE panties!!
    I love how you sass and torment Steve. That smart remark about the blinds is just too good to resist. :)
    The front thigh experiment is something I have zero need to feel for myself. I don't mind a playful rare firm smack to my arms, front thigh, etc. but all marks belong on my bum.

  4. Erica, I am so lucky to have you as a bottom. Your mind, heart, body and bottom are so very trusting of me, that you were open to venture into something new....albeit, something that is not for us. I'm blessed that such a scene that wasn't our best by any means, is not something that can come between what we've built between us these past two wonderful years. Thank you for staying in there with me/us. I am so lucky to have you in my life. Just remember, I'm not going anywhere. Love always. Steve

  5. Isn't there some law of nature or principle from physics that the time between birthdays gets shorter as the numbers get bigger?

    I just had a B-day last week. I'd be happy to get behind you, pun intended, if you start a campaign to repeal birthdays. And weekdays?

  6. Kelly -- ouch... arm?? I can't even imagine a slap there, so go figure.

    Steve -- I do trust you. Pushing the limits is part of this thing we do at times. Sometimes it works, other times not. But I always know my best interest is in your heart, at all times. I, too, am lucky. ♥

    Jon -- happy belated birthday. I don't want to repeal weekdays, as they can be fun sometimes (like on Tuesdays), and I love the attention I get on my birthday... how about we just repeal ageing?

  7. I with you on the good pain/bad pain thing. The occasional turkey thigh? Meh. Mayyyyyybe. But I just can't get into being hit on the front of my thighs, and especially the upper/inner thigh. Just .. not my thang. While I LOVE my pleasurable pain, that just plain hurts.


  8. Red -- hi! (waving) We're a convoluted and contradictory bunch, aren't we?

  9. Yes, this certainly is recognizable. Great corner picture, by the way!

  10. MrJ -- thanks. It's about the only nook in my apartment that isn't cluttered up with stuff! LOL

  11. Glad to see y'all trying to push boundaries a bit and glad that yall've come to a mutual understanding of what works and what doesn't. (And would love to know what you think of the word "y'all've"!)
    Hope you have fun at lunch tomorrow. And... What do you think about my idea- that birthday spankings should be taken in your birthday suit?

  12. SS -- I happen to love the word "y'all," even though I'm not from the South or Midwest. "Y'all've" is pushing it a little, but it works. As for the birthday suit... hmm. That could happen!

  13. I love seeing/reading about the trust you two have for each other. It really is something special. :-)

  14. Erica, for giving sass, my dear lass, you suffered pain on thigh, oh me oh my.. XXX Luv ya.

  15. Jay -- thank you. I feel very safe with him. :-)

    Six -- oh groan, oh moan.

  16. Oh Erica :( That looks and sounds incredibly painful. But you would never have known if you hadn't tried it, right? It's good to have a partner that knows you so well and is only "sadistic" when you are enjoying it!

  17. Autumn -- yeah, it really sucked. But I was curious. Now I know, and so does he. Not happening again! The hand on occasion, maybe, but never an implement again.

  18. Hi Erica -- HOLY FUCK your thighs are so red and marked :-( OUCH. I am so glad that you can trust Steve :-) I Love your banter back and forth, it's so funny LOL :-) You and Steve are both AWESOME :-) Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade

  19. I love reading about the chemistry and trust the two of you have together. Regarding the concept of pain and pleasure I happen to enjoy more than the occasional thigh turkey however my thighs are a bit rounder than yours. :)

  20. Anonymous -- a lot of people like the thigh stuff! I see the evidence on FetLife all the time. It's not for me, but at least I tried. :-)

  21. What a nice session and love the fact you both relish the OTK spanking and well again love the panty