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Sunday, August 10, 2014

(sigh) I just can't help myself sometimes

Pet peeves. We all have them; some of us more than others. I certainly have plenty of my own. Likewise, John has his.

In general, I try to be respectful of other people's peeves, even if I don't share them. Just because something doesn't bother me, doesn't mean it doesn't drive someone else completely nuts. But sometimes, a bit of well-placed teasing is irresistible.

One of John's biggest pet peeves? Earworms.

You know, when an obnoxious song or tune gets stuck in your head and you can't get it out? Most of us find them annoying. John finds them maddening. And he will get really ticked off with me if I deliberately introduce one -- like if I sing an obnoxious commercial jingle, or a crappy song. Or if I take a good song and ruin it by parodying it in an earworm-y way.

Anyone here a James Bond fan? Enjoy the movies, especially the old ones with the premier Bond, Sean Connery? Then you're no doubt familiar with Goldfinger, and its theme song, powerfully belted out in Shirley Bassey's booming voice: "GOLLLLLLLLD-FinGAAHHHHHHHH!" (If you don't know it, you can hear it here, if you're curious.) I'll get back to that in a minute.

Anyway, yesterday, we were poking fun at a restaurant review, for one of those trendoid places with snob food. You know the type, right? Where they take a huge plate, leave it mostly empty save for about two-and-a-half bites of food that's covered with an infusion or a reduction or some other such pretentious nonsense, decorate it with a flower petal and a drizzle of yak oil, and charge you $100? John read the part out loud about how your sushi is "graced with truffles or gold leaf," and I snorted.

"Gold leaf? WTF?? Why would anyone want gold on their food?"

Without missing a beat, John shrugged and replied, "Maybe it makes their poop sparkle."

After I picked myself up off the floor laughing, I was seized with a mischievous urge. I knew John would hate this, but I couldn't help it; it was irresistible. Taking a deep breath, I then, invoking my best Shirley Bassey, loudly sang: 


Sure enough, this earned me the stink-eye from John and "Don't. EVER. Sing. That. Again." Oh, and I'm supposed to tell Steve that I permanently ruined the theme from Goldfinger. Hey, it could have been worse. I could have parodied the whole song. "Golden words he will pour from his rear..."

I don't know why John's so bent out of shape. He doesn't even like Bond movies.


  1. Erica, there were at least two other sayings you could have blurt out. "Golden Earings", a song sung once by Marlene Dietrich. Or Golda Myer, the former Premier of Israel. Erica. In fact I like sometimes your witty humor, it helps you keep sane, in this nutty world of ours. XXX luv ya

  2. Six -- some would say my sanity is a lost cause.

  3. Now I'm hungry for the rest of the parody.

    One of my pet peeves is the expression pet peeve.

    Does that make me peevish?

    Anon Y. Mouse

  4. Mouse -- actually, I didn't come up with an entire parody, just a line or two. I'm thinking that "Goldsphincter" is probably best left unsung. ;-)

  5. Mr. Pants hates earworms too, but only specific ones. Heard of the trolololo guy? That's the number one offender, because I find him hilarious and he finds him creepy as hell.

  6. Brat E. -- no, can't say that I've heard of him!

  7. "On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me: FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!"


  8. SC -- if my true love eats gold leaf, I'll pass on those rings, thank you!!

  9. OMG Erica -- You and John are hilarious LOL :-) I can't stop laughing, John is so funny when he mentioned about the poop sparkle that made me giggle :-) You singing that song made me laugh as well :-) I know a song from the seventies with the word gold in it :-) It's called band of gold it came out a few years before I was born LOL. Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade

  10. Jade -- I remember that song; I had it on a 45 record. :-)

  11. R

    As a fellow earworm parodist I must say that's my new favorite.

  12. Wolfie -- I figured you'd appreciate it! :-D