Sorry, kids. This has absolutely nothing to do with kink, or anything fun. I just need to blow off some steam.
Every Sunday, John and I have a routine: We go to the same restaurant, where everyone who works there knows us and we always sit in the same server's station. She never brings menus, just puts our order in as soon as we're seated, because we always get the same thing. We stay at the table for a long time, lingering over the paper, my crossword puzzle and several cups of coffee, and leave her a ginormous tip.
Today when we came in, the waiting area was crowded, no place to sit, so I put our name in and we stood to wait. Because of the blood clot in John's leg, it hurts him to stand on it for more than a few minutes, so when a couple of spots on the bench freed up, we sat down, pulled out our reading material and focused on it as we waited. People came in and out as we sat there, but we were reading and didn't pay much attention.
Suddenly, we heard a man's voice saying very loudly, "It's amazing to me that in this day and age, a man will still sit down when there are women standing." We looked up. There stood a man about our age, staring directly at John. Standing next to him was a woman I figure was his wife, and seated at the other end of the bench was a much older woman with a walker. I'm assuming that someone else got up so she could sit down. If John had seen her, he would have gotten up himself. But they came in after us and we weren't looking.
John calmly answered, "What did you say?" The man, still staring John down, replied, "I said..." and then repeated exactly what he'd said a moment ago.
John stared back. I sat there looking back and forth between them, thinking, uh oh. This isn't going to be good. But then John, after a good long measured look, went back to his paper. He didn't answer. A minute or so later, the trio was seated.
I was furious, though. Where did this creep get off, judging John? What did he know about why John needs to sit down? So when we were seated, I saw that Mr. Loudmouth and his two cronies were in the same station. I got up and walked over to their table.
"Excuse me, sir," I said, looking him in the eye. "My boyfriend has a heart condition, and he also has a blood clot in his leg. He needs to sit. So what you said back there was really out of line."
Before he could answer, his bitch of a wife lurched forward in her seat and got in my face. "No, it was NOT!" she snapped. I started to insist that it was, but she talked right over me, saying, "Just shut your mouth for five seconds!" I was so shocked, I stopped talking. She went on to give me this lecture about how her mother is 88 years old, she's on oxygen, she uses a walker, and that takes precedence over anything else. Then Mr. Jerk-off chimes in with, "And if that really is the case with your boyfriend (what, like I'd make that up??), then you say so at the time, and then you get off your ass to let an older person sit down, how about that?"
Wow. Just... wow. I was dumbfounded, being slammed into this wall of self-righteousness. The wife finished off, saying in this superior air, "Just a little something for you to think about as you age. Now go off and enjoy your day!" I shook my head at them and said, "OK then... you enjoy your judgment!" and I walked away. I heard her call after me, "We DO, thank you!" Ugh.
Twenty-twenty hindsight, what I wish I'd said was, "You know what? My boyfriend is twice the man you'll ever be, and he probably won't live to be anywhere near 88. So both of you shut your mouth!" But I didn't. I was too flabbergasted.
But wait, there's more.
I got back to our booth, and as I slid back in, I hissed to John, "Fucking bastards!" I followed his eyes and looked to my left... Jerk-off was right there. He'd followed me back to our booth. "What now??" I said.
"What, you can come to my table, but I can't come to yours?" he said, stepping closer to me. That's when John jumped in. "Leave her alone! Stop talking to her!"
The guy then swiveled his whole body aggressively toward John and answered, "OK, I'll talk to you!" But before he could launch into his next barrage of BS, John gave him a look of pure disgust and blurted, "What are you doing, man? Go away! Stop bothering us!"
At that moment, our server walked over, looking a little apprehensive, and John said to her (while flapping his arm as if he were waving away a bad odor), "Susie, get this guy away from us, will you please?" She then timidly tapped the idiot's elbow and said, "Sir..."
I guess then he realized that he had gone too far, and he was risking getting thrown out. He walked away without another word. Our server then gave both John and me a hug, and the manager came over to make sure we were OK. When our food came, the manager said, "Enjoy your breakfast in peace," and left us. Later, she said, "See you both next week!" So we were still in good standing. After all, we hadn't done anything wrong.
It's been hours and I'm still stewing over these fucktards. I really do need to let things go more easily. But I do not like people screwing with my loved ones. Anyone gives John crap, including his own family, and I want to fling it right back plus extra.
(sigh) Oh well. At least it's off my chest now.
Tomorrow, I'll start fresh and try to focus on the good folks again. I promise. Tonight, I'm allowing myself a good stew over self-righteous asshats. Begone from my head, cretins. You're not worth my consideration.
Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken kinkophile and unapologetic attention wh--, um, hog.
PLEASE NOTE: This blog contains adult subjects and content, and because of Google/Blogger's recent nonsense, I HAVE MOVED TO WORDPRESS. For my enlightened friends who wish to visit me in my new home, it's https://ericalscott.wordpress.com. Please bookmark it!
The rest of you? Please take your judge-y selves somewhere more wholesome, like here: www.wonderbread.com
Go on.... shoo!
The rest of you? Please take your judge-y selves somewhere more wholesome, like here: www.wonderbread.com
Go on.... shoo!
(Hug) The nerve of some people. Sorry you both had to deal with them. I probably would have been fuming so much that I wouldn't have calmed down enough to eat. :-(
ReplyDeleteit's amazing how idiotic some people are. I'm glad the server and manager made sure you knew you were not in the wrong.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Hermione
Jay -- oh, I was plenty wound up, believe me! But I do love my Sunday brunch, so that overrode the anger. :-D
ReplyDeleteHermione -- isn't it, though? It really did help to have the restaurant workers in our corner.
What a couple of pricks! If my elderly grandfather needs to sit while we're out, I usually find a server and explain the situation and ask them to find a table with a free chair to borrow. I would never presume that the rest of the public were morally obligated to fall all over themselves to give me (or anyone in my party) the priority, and that's not even considering the possibility they have their OWN physical limitations. Pfft. They certainly deserve each other; entitled, self absorbed a-holes, the both of them.
ReplyDeleteOn a different note, I was being treated for a blood clot about 18 months ago and I have two unopened boxes of lovenox shots left from when I made the switch to pills. The lovenox shots are expensive as hell, so I've been holding on to them hoping for a chance to donate them. If you can use them i'd be happy to send them along.
After working for years in different areas of customer service it's amazing how many people out there are rude and obnoxious. So many people think they're entitled to something just because, without thinking of others first. It just amazes me how some people act now a days. I'm glad that the two of you were still able to enjoy your lunch and that you had support from the staff. Hopefully you wont have to encounter these inconsiderate asshats again.
ReplyDeleteBrat E. -- yeah, you tell 'em! Hmm... John takes Coumadin pills, and he's never mentioned shots. But I'll check with him. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous -- ah yes, the Entitlement People. I'm hoping we never see them again either. I think they got the idea that we're regulars there; hopefully that will deter them! Then again, they seemed to relish getting in our faces, so who knows... (sigh)
These sort of situations can really ruin a day can't they. Sounds like you and John won this battle though. It felt like you did to me anyway.
ReplyDeleteMace -- I believe we did, overall. Although I wish I'd said what I really wanted to. :-)
ReplyDeleteIn an ideal world, Peter Putz would have asked those waiting, "Excuse me, all, but my 88-year old mom needs to sit while waiting!" Or asked the hostess, or just gone over and borrowed a chair from someplace. I guess he and Mrs. Putz needed to feel righteous about something.
ReplyDeleteSorry for that unpleasantness; I go out a lot here with my diminishing parents, and I'm happy to say the young men and women (and the middle-aged ones, too) all seem to try to be considerate of one another, realizing they really don't know what situation other people are in, and, well, just because it's decent and respectful. I hope you find more of those types now.
Dave -- righteous is the word. Sheesh! Must be hard, being so damn superior. Yeah, we're hoping for a little more pleasantness next weekend.
ReplyDeleteErica, I find in to-days world the rush to JUDGEMENT carries a heavy burden. Be it Internationally, politically, educational, medically, need I say sexually. etc. Sad to say the world seems to be to edgy in judging situations. And at times falls flat on its face. XXX Luv ya.
ReplyDeleteSix -- I would have enjoyed watching both of them fall flat on their faces. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHi Erica -- I am so VERY sorry, this happened to you and John :-( I agree how dare that asshole judge John, I don't like the way those 2 IDIOTS talked to you or John :-( They have one hell of a nerve. I don't blame you for being upset, I would of been too.I am glad that you both won and that the restaurant people know it wasn't your fault :-) I hate dealing with STUPID IGNORANT LOSERS. Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade
ReplyDeleteJade -- it's OK. We're over it today. It really helped that it happened in a restaurant where everyone knows and likes us. :-)
ReplyDeleteTime to make a gratitude list, que no?
ReplyDeleteJon -- it's always time for one of those, I guess.
ReplyDeleteDear Erica
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about this unfortunate experience. Hopefully, these pricks learnt a thing or two about manners, or at the very least just stay away. In future, I hope you limit your interaction with such individuals to nothing more than a roll of the eyes - they are hardly worth your breath or your wrath.
Take care, and I hope John is doing well these days!
Anonymous -- you're right; they're not worth it. I can deal with it better when it's just me. But you mess with my sweetheart or my friends and I get pissed off! :-)
ReplyDeleteIs that couple spankable?
ReplyDeleteYet another example of why you should rush to rash judgements without knowing the full situation. You never know someone's story. If the poor lady had needed to sit that bad they could have asked the waitress or even kindly explained the situation to you guys instead if just assuming you were being rude. People are too quick to judge these days instead if trying to be kind. Sorry you had to deal with that on what should have been a nice relaxing morning out!
ReplyDeleteMrJ -- not in the least.
ReplyDeleteKelly -- :-) I love your passion on this stuff. And good point -- a lot of people with canes or some sort of disability balk at "special treatment."
KB -- ah well. Next weekend will be better. :-)
My guess is these people have a little cottage industry of chronic complaining and berating. Unfortunately, they have probably been awarded free dinners, better seats, upgrades, etc by embarrassed managers and businesses. They know how to push the limit just far enough but not too far to get ejected. Its a sad, sorry excuse for a life.
ReplyDeleteVfrat -- ugh! That's pretty damn despicable. Well, it didn't work this time.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous -- perhaps. But here in CA, we'd get arrested for assault and battery and then sued in civil court because he just happened to do some "soft tissue damage" to his vertebrae on the way down. Just isn't worth it, tempting as it is.
ReplyDeleteWow, what a brunch! I would've been pissed off for the rest of the day too. Nobody is the seat police. Geez. If you really need to sit down then it can be politely said. "Excuse me, my mother can't be standing. Would you mind moving over?"
ReplyDeleteMy dad has a laundry list of health problems but they aren't all visible. He's not that old and scoffs at needing to use his cane sometimes but his diabetes is so bad he can barely even feel his feet anymore. It's pure stubbornness that has him still walking at all. People can't always tell that though one foot always has a big boot on it. When we use the public railway to go to football games people are often giving him a look when he's one of the few people who grabs a seat. What, do you want him to hand you a list of meds and problems to prove himself? MYOB assholes!
Lea -- exactly. And yes, there are better ways to get a seat if you need one. I am hoping we never encounter this couple again.
ReplyDeleteOMG, that's awful! I'm so sorry you were treated like that...but it's nice that the servers & manager were on your side. It does sound like that mean group of people is sour on life, angry at things they can't control, and consequently have trigger tempers and take it out on anyone handy, for any flimsy excuse of a reason. If they needed to sit, they should have asked the manager for a spare chair or politely tapped someone on the shoulder and said with a smile, "I hate to bother you, but could I buy you a coffee in exchange for letting my mom/wife/etc. sit in your spot?" And of course then the tapped person would probably gladly give the seat (if they were able) and refuse the coffee, or someone else would jump up and offer, and everyone would be all BFFs. Humor and kindness go such a long way! Anyway, hope the blood clot resolves/heals/goes away soon...and hope your next visit to that place is much nicer!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous -- thanks. I'm sure it will be! Yeah, that could have been handled in a dozen different ways that were better than what they chose.
ReplyDeleteWhat you should have said to the wife was "Hey, you deserve that face you were born with, and it looks like you scraped the bottom of the barrel to get someone to marry it". I used that line one time. It stopped her in her tracks. Lol. Good going Girl. Stand by your man....and your top. Steve
ReplyDeleteSteve -- HA! I like that! I will have to remember it. :-D You'll have to tell me about the time you used it.
ReplyDeleteThis kind of stuff makes me so crazy angry it makes me want to spit. When stuff like that happens to me it's hard for me to remain my generally congenial, convivial self.
ReplyDeleteCraig -- I know what you mean. I'm usually so unruffled and mellow, but these things make me crazy.
ReplyDelete