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Wednesday, June 4, 2014

If she's crabby and you know it...

... spank her a$%.

I was in a mood and a half yesterday. The reasons why aren't really pertinent; it wasn't just one thing, but a culmination of a bunch of little things, stresses, disappointments, etc. (setbacks with John's ongoing health saga, for one), and there it was: a really blue and irritable mood.

Steve was due at 11:00. The night before, he called and said he had a work issue and it would be noon. Then that morning, he called and told me the work issue was pushing things back and it would have to be 1:00. 

Not a big deal, right? It's not like he was cancelling; it was just two hours. But that put the finishing touches on my mood. 

After he arrived, we talked, and I got teary-eyed almost right away. Ugh. Hate it when I do that. But, bless his heart, he likes it. Not the fact that I'm sad, but that I am comfortable enough to show him my real self and where I am in the moment.

Gawd, did I show him. I was wanting his presence, yet feeling edgy and impatient with him at the same time. When he reached up a finger to wipe a tear from under my eye, I flinched away and asked him not to do that; his finger felt too close to my eye. He kept stroking my hair back away from my face and behind my ear; I shrugged my hair forward to cover it again. My mean-girl voices were in full cry. Don't look at my ears. They're huge. They're ugly. My hair is over them for a reason. Leave it alone.

In an attempt to suss out what I needed, he said, "We don't have to play today if you don't want to." "NOO!" I cried. 

He asked me what I needed. That stubborn, contrary part of me seized up, not wanting to say it. I wanted him to just know, dammit. Fortunately, reason overruled that stubbornness. He's not a mind reader. So, looking away, I mumbled, "I need you to take charge. I don't want to make any decisions today."

Take the control away from me. Please. Push me until the dam breaks.

He did. Our hand-spanking session was long and it hurt. I wanted it to hurt. I struggled and squirmed and kicked and angrily groaned into the cushions. "Go ahead, kick all you want to," he said. A few lighter slaps to the backs of my legs took that want away. 

When my body stilled and my protests morphed into sobs of release, he slowed and then stopped. I wept in his arms, feeling the heat radiate from my bottom outward.

He didn't ask me what implements I wanted or whether I wanted the ottoman or the bed. He just said, "I need you over some pillows, now." 

Yes.




He kept it simple; small leather paddle, small wooden paddle. My fight was gone, and I did not sass. He said certain things that would usually call forth a smart-ass remark from me, but that urge had gone away. I was in my different place now -- softer, accepting. 

When he was done, I asked him if he would please rub some lotion on me. He went one better than that -- gently, he removed my clothes, stretched me out and gave me a shoulder-to-foot massage. The last vestiges of my tension melted away. (Faded already -- sheesh!)




I need to keep this calm for a while, make it last. Next week, he'll be gone Sunday through Wednesday, on a camping/hiking trip with his son. (sigh) At least I know in advance. I can plan to fill my day, my week with other things, and patiently (ha!!) wait until I see him in two weeks. If the Work Gods are kind to me, I will have lots of it to keep my mind occupied.

But for the moment, I feel peaceful. ♥

19 comments:

  1. Blessed be the peacemakers! ;-)
    Sorry to hear about John's health. Hugs. :-)




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  2. Wow...this is exactly what I needed last night, too, but it didn't happen. Maybe tonight.

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  3. I'm glad Steve was able to help out with whatever you needed..You do look peaceful after all is said and done...Also, I'm sorry to hear about John...Prayers going out to him...Hang in!....Nancy

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  4. MrJ -- thanks... it's ongoing, you know. Some days are better than others.

    Jay -- fingers crossed for you!

    Nancy -- I appreciate all good thoughts for John; thank you. Here's my advice to all: avoid HMOs, unless you're totally healthy and don't need any special care. They suck.

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  5. Win! Win!
    With the stress overload you felt I wonder if it was a tossup as to which was more fabulous-the spanking or the massage?
    It's been a few years since I've had a full body massage and whenever my bum cheeks were the prime target, I was in sheer bliss. In fact I would have been happy just having them taken care of for the duration -the rest of my body could take a hike! LOL But then that might have been a strange request.

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  6. Kelly -- good question. They were both beneficial. for sure. I do love massages. I've even paid for them, in the past.

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  7. Hi Erica -- I am so glad, that Steve was there for you and gave you what you needed :-) I am so sorry about John :-( I wish him the BEST. I hear you when it comes to bad moods :-( My day sucked, I sure hope so many things get better for me.I need a good Otk Spanking so badly right now. Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade

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  8. BIG HUGS to both you and John. I have been miserable of late as well. Hopefully tonight will get the de-stressing/attitude adjustment I need.

    HMO's definitely suck. Unfortunately, others aren't much better after this obummercare debacle - and soooooo much more expensive (affordable care my a$$). At this point I am almost scared to go to the doctor for fear of what they will tell me I have to do because if I don't my insurance can refuse to cover me for it.

    Wish I could find work. Maybe if my mind was otherwise occupied I wouldn't work myself into such moods.

    Good luck keeping occupied until Steve gets back.

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  9. Jayda -- HMOs work well if all you need is basic healthcare. No co-pays, no third-party billing, just a flat fee and you're done. But they are pinching pennies (like everyone else) and don't want to do anything beyond the most traditional. Cutting edge? Forget it.

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  10. Sorry been away busy and tons of crap work wise.......I have to say I so love hand spankings that hurt and hurt alot....classic spankings
    Thanks and always
    Ron

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  11. Ron -- no need for apology.

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    1. Thanks but I missed you...love your posts...also your comments about the hand spanking is so inspiring....thanks
      Always
      Ron

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  12. I also meant to say that I'm sorry that you are having a rough time of all the little things. Sending hugs and good thoughts across the miles for you and John!

    In other news, I did get it last night, so I am feeling a bit better. :-)

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  13. Sounds perfect and just what you needed.

    Sorry to hear about John;s health.

    Love and hugs to you both,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  14. Ronnie -- thanks. It's an ongoing situation, but hopefully one day, it will be resolved.

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  15. Wow, that Steve guy seems to be such a catch. You better keep him around forever. You know, "I'm not going anywhere!" Glad he's back from the wilderness and that he's finally gotten back on line to write you. Oh, btw, its ME.

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  16. ME -- you're right, Steve is a good guy. Thank you for reminding me. He disappears sometimes.

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