OT: Dragged into technology, kicking and screaming

OK, y'all. Most of you know I'm kind of a Luddite. Also, most of you know that I hate the phone. If I could correspond with everyone via email for the rest of my life, I would. Receiving phone calls is like having someone drop in on me unexpectedly (which I hate), and I don't like making calls either, as I always feel like I'm bothering or interrupting people.
That said, I've decided to get a Smart Phone.

Why, you ask? I'll tell you.

1. Last weekend, I got lost. Literally. There was a mega-accident on the freeway on the way home from John's, and I had to take an exit I'd never taken before. Once off the freeway, I had not a clue where I was, or in which direction I was heading. It was Easter Sunday and everything was closed. Panic-stricken, I pulled over, turned on my antiquated cell phone and called John at home. "I'm lost. I'm on the corner of Flower and Sonora." He Google-mapped it, asked me a couple of questions as to what I was looking at (could I see a freeway if I looked ahead of me or behind me, etc.), and then gave me directions to find my way. I was rattled for a long time afterward. There is no excuse in this day and age to get lost anywhere.

2. Neither John nor I have laptops. (Yes, I know there was talk about my getting one last year, but that never happened. I was too overwhelmed over the variety and decided to wait.) So, we're both dependent upon our desktops at home for the Internet. This past Friday (the 13th, naturally), John's computer crashed and he had to take it to the shop. Which meant I was Internet-less once I left my place for his. I admit it; I'm an Internet junkie. I finally (and with much embarrassment) told him last night that I wanted to go to Fed-Ex Office to check my email/blog comments. Ridiculous.

3. Boardwalk Badness. Again, no laptop to bring with us. Therefore, we would be Internet-less from early Thursday morning until Monday afternoon. That sucks. Enough is enough. Everyone seems to have non-stop access to the Net, either via phone, tablet or laptop these days. I want it too.

So I've been researching and reading, and I've been to my local Verizon store and spoke at length with a salesperson. (Verizon is my carrier.) I know a lot of you might squawk at this and tell me no no NO, but I'm not getting an iPhone. I have my reasons. First and foremost, I want a phone with a proper physical keyboard. I hate touch screens. Hate. Them. I tried using one in the Verizon store and couldn't even type my address without a ton of typos. Second, the Android phones come equipped with GPS; the iPhones do not, you have to add that. Third, the Androids have a bigger screen, which I also want.

I've read a million reviews, and they all conflict. I read a bunch of them for the Droid, and they varied from "Great phone!" to "Worst phone ever!" So, just for giggles, I also read reviews on the iPhone. Guess what? Also a spread between five-star raves to one/two-star rants. Not everyone thinks that Apple products are the Holy Grail. Oh, and I don't need access to the iTunes library. I'm not putting music on my phone; I have an MP3 player for that. Nor am I watching videos. I watch videos on my TV screen, not a tiny little phone screen. (Never could understand how people can stand to watch anything on a screen the size of a couple of dominoes.)

Apparently people say the same thing about ALL the Smart Phones' batteries: they all suck. They all don't last. So I'll deal with that regardless of the brand.

Finally, and this made me laugh like hell: While researching and comparing, I stumbled across an article about Steve Wozniak (you know, the co-founder of Apple?). In this article, he sheepishly admits that he prefers his Android phone to his iPhone. LOL! He hastens to add that the iPhone is a better phone overall, though. Right, Woz. If that's so, then why do you have an Android in the first place?

The Verizon salesperson made a good point. Since this is my first Smart Phone, I'm not going to notice any of the nuances between Android and iPhone; no matter what I get, it will be a huge improvement over what I have now and it will keep me happily entertained for a very long time. She said they haven't been getting any complaints about the Droids (although they've gotten several about the Blackberry, so I scratched that off), and once I get more Smart-Phone savvy, I could always get an iPhone somewhere down the line. In the meantime, the Droid has both the regular keyboard AND the touch screen, so perhaps I could practice on that. After all, I wouldn't be surprised if regular keyboards on phones become obsolete in the future.

With a proper keyboard, I may even learn to like texting. I mean, it certainly would suit me better, given that I feel less intrusive texting rather than calling. However, I will swear this to you all now, and you can hold me to it: I will NEVER TEXT AND DRIVE. Never. And if I go back on that, forget about spanking. Take the phone away from me and don't give it back. Seriously. I have verrrrrry strong feelings about people who are careless behind the wheel of a car. I lost a loved one that way.

And oh! I'll have a camera! Granted, the camera on the Droid is supposed to be mediocre. Still, it's 8 megapixels. And right now, my cell phone has no camera. I can't tell you how many times I've been driving through John's canyon and seen a deer, and thought, "I wish I had a camera with me."

So I plan to buy my new phone sometime next week and fiddle with it before the party. Hopefully by the time BBW weekend rolls around, I'll be somewhat acclimated to it.

Go ahead, laugh. I know I sound like I'm buying God knows what. But remember, technology and I are not comfortable bedfellows.

What's next for me, a flat-screen TV??