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Go on.... shoo!



Friday, February 24, 2012

Not having a good day

I had planned to post something a lot more interesting and thought-provoking, but that will have to wait. Something else just took precedence and I need to get it off my chest.

You all remember my talking about the recent flame wars on FetLife, with a certain person who upset a lot of others and whom I took on publicly because I couldn't stand how she was insulting my friends. That has died down in the past couple of weeks; this person left the group where all the wars were occurring, and we've moved on with new topics and so forth.

But just now, I received email from the FetLife caretakers. It reads as follows.

Hi Erica_Scott,

Because of the ongoing problems between you and sassyPGH, this email will serve for what we call a FetLife Restraining Order, in the hopes that it will help resolve any further problems between the two of you. What this does is request that you both, from this point on, cease speaking of (directly or indirectly), to, or about each other. We’re asking that you pretty much ‘pretend’ that the other person does not exist on the site. And yes, an email just like this one will be sent to them as well. :)

We will also request that both of you remove any other posts on FetLife about one another. If we come across any ourselves, we will remove them without notification or a warning (if they are from the past), and WITH notification and a warning (if they are from this point forward).

If this FetLife Restraining Order is violated in any shape or form, or if either you try to circumvent it, a warning will be issued. If the behavior continues, someone may be removed and banned from the site. We really hate to do that, but we hope that by creating this restraining order, both of you can get back to enjoying FetLife without any further problems. After all, having fun is what living a FetLife is all about!!! Well, as long as you define fun as… but we digress!

If things come to light that need our attention or if you have any questions, please feel free to email us.

I can't believe this. I've been served with an online restraining order. Like some sort of stalk-y, creepy troublemaker. It makes me feel sick.

Here is what I wrote back:

Dear Christopher,

I am very distressed and saddened by this. It has never been my intent to be regarded as a troublemaker on FetLife. I love the site and as you can see from my profile, I support it financially. As you can also see, I have many friends, so in general, I am not disliked.

I'm not normally a combative person; I avoid conflict like the plague. But SassyPGH is a dreadful person -- critical, judgmental, opinionated, passive-aggressively nasty, and if you check her records, you will see many arguments and flame wars in which she's been involved. She has insulted my friends many times, and one thing I cannot abide is seeing my friends insulted. I leap to their defense.

If you check back through the threads in question, you will see that, other than malcontent, I never resorted to calling her names. She, on the other hand, has referred to me and my friends as "pissy, petty narrow-minded bitches," "pathetic attention whores" and people who expect others to "kiss our royal paid-for asses." She threatened on a public thread to out someone's private information. (Unfortunately, the moderator took that post down.)

I have gone back into past threads, but I don't see any way to remove my posts. But I promise you there will been no new ones anywhere on FetLife regarding her, or even hinting at her, from now on. I admit I'm feeling a bit paranoid, like I'm being watched. It's not a nice feeling. However, I will cooperate fully, because I like this site and I would hate to lose it.

Respectfully,
Erica Scott

I feel like I'm going to have some sort of Big Brother-ish presence, overseeing all my posts to make sure I'm behaving myself. Perhaps that's paranoid of me, and I'm making a much bigger deal out of this than it is. But I'm just so damned upset right now.

There has been other nastiness on FetLife recently, and while I'm not directly involved with that, I'm friends with the person involved, so I'm guilty by association. I wonder if someone else reported me, just for malice. Again, I know that sounds paranoid, but with some of the crap going down online these days, nothing is impossible.

I don't want to be banned from FetLife. I have fun there and it keeps me in touch with so many friends. But right now, I'm feeling very icky about it. And very sad.

Not a good day, indeed. And I didn't even get Chrossed, dammit! :-(

47 comments:

  1. Hi Erica.I am so very sorry :-( this is so UNFAIR you didn't do anything wrong that STUPID BITCH DID THE WRONG.I am here for you is there anything i can do to make thing's better? If there is please let me know.I got banned from Spank finder over a year ago and i was very sad and angry,I didn't do anything wrong either :-( Hope your day get's better and you and John have a nice weekend,much love and hugs from your naughty girl Jade xoxo

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  2. Erica,

    I am stunned that you received such a warning notice. To me, you are one of the most thoughtful and interesting people on the site. I have only communicated with you a couple of times, but each time you responded promptly and respectfully.

    I have many friends on FL and all of them including me have the utmost respect for you.

    Hug,
    joey

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jade -- thanks, hon. Nothing you can do. Just venting; I'll work it out.

    Joey -- you're very kind. I know I came off like a pit bull in those threads on FetLife, but I was beyond infuriated. But when someone is nice to me, I'm nice back.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm very sorry, Erica. I know the woman from Pitt. The FL Restraining Order is an insult. My only words of consolation are that you have your friends, your love, your play partner and yourself. All "she" has is...nothing! Oh! And her ellipses!

    It's difficult when you have been wronged, but you will stand with your head held high, surrounded by your friends! You ARE the winner!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Marne -- (laughing) Damn! I'm not allowed to make fun of her stupid ellipses anymore.

    Thank you so much for this. It helps, really it does.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ugh, this is stupid. Wasn't that all over anyway? However, I would not take it as the Fetlife caretakers actually thinking you did something wrong. I think they try to treat everyone equally and be overly fair when any kind of complaint is made. They've written me a couple times, one was more serious back when I was discussing some criminal accusations that had been made against a friend of mine. They told me they weren't going to delete my entry because a lot of good points had been made, but I needed to remove any mention of names associated with criminal charges, per the TOS. I did and it still stands, though they did delete certain comments which make reading the thread back confusing and less informative now, but oh well.

    More recently though, I received a message from them about the FL event I had posted for Screw Munchkin. I had just picked a random obviously (I thought) fake location, Hawaii. Apparently people in Hawaii were writing and inquiring about it, and they asked me to change it because they were tired of the inquiries. I wrote back that I was sorry to have caused any trouble and had assumed it was obvious by the description that it was just a joke event like people who are going to Hell and what not. I asked if it would be sufficient if I changed the location to Antarctica. They wrote back and agreed that they could easily see it was a joke and basically acknowledged that the people who complained were idiots, and that Antarctica would probably be a safer location for the event, lol.

    So hopefully you will get a similar response reassuring that you didn't really do anything so terrible, they were just doing their job. And if not, I still think that's the only reason they said anything. Some nasty people still stewing over it probably were harassing them about it, as those types have nothing better to do and thrive on trouble making. Just my guess. I'm sorry though, I know it doesn't feel good to feel "in trouble" like that, especially since she started it. I hope it doesn't entirely ruin your day. :-(

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  7. Lily -- you were there for the whole damn mess. You know where I was coming from. I do hope they write back to me -- a little reassurance from their end would be nice. I feel like I've been slapped, and not in a fun way.

    I cannot believe you were contacted over something so ridiculous! No wonder people use Antarctica for a safe catch-all.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ok, now I am pissed! I don't know what distorted little tales that whining hypocritical, self absorbed, waste of oxygen has told, but this is now a 'pet project'. They have no right doing this to you. You have been nothing but elegant whem dealing with sassy.

    This is uncalled for! And I hope everyone of your friends get involved in this!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yes, I saw it all, and granted I may not be impartial as I butted heads with her too, but I certainly think she was the one instigating the clashes by being judgmental and nasty. Not to mention the way she threatened to out another site member!

    I know, at first I was a little horrified thinking I had done something wrong, but when they clarified I thought it was pretty funny. Some people really must have nothing interesting to do, are just that dumb, or both!

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  10. Loki -- thank you. You've made me smile. But it is what it is. They were just doing their job.

    There have been subsequent threads where people, including yours truly, have snarked about ellipses, even though she wasn't mentioned. Possibly someone is spying on me and reporting that. I mean, the flame war in question was over a couple of weeks ago, so I don't know why I'm getting this now.

    Lily -- I hope I come to feel like this is funny as well. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Erica, please know that this comes from someone who worships the ground you walk on and who really wants to be you when she grows up: Let us know when you're ready to laugh about it, because I want to tease you just the tiniest bit, k?

      Cindy

      Delete
    2. Cindy -- sorry, your comment slipped under my radar. I was distracted. And by all means, tease. One has to have a sense of humor about these things. :-)

      Delete
  11. Well, this is a little more serious than the screwing munchkin thing, and I can definitely understand feeling upset over it. I guess it is a little bit funny in the sense that it shows just how lame these people really are. If making jokes about ellipses that don't even name anyone specifically are grounds for a virtual restraining order, well that's pretty ridiculous. Sometimes, a situation pretty much only leaves you the option to laugh or cry. I think it's usually better to try to find the humor, even when it's something messed up like this.

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  12. Lily -- thanks to supportive comments like yours (here, on FetLife, on Twitter), I've stopped crying and I'm smiling a bit. Friends are amazing things. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yay! :-)

    Illegitimi non carborundum!

    ReplyDelete
  14. MrJ -- well, yeah, there's that.

    Lily -- YES. :-)

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  15. Hi Erica,

    I just took the time to go back and read through the posts / discussion in question. Not that I'm unbiased, but you are in the right and whoever this "Sassy" is (had never heard of her or her parties, which says something in and of itself) is a nasty piece of work. Had I been in the discussion about models, I would have been a lot more vicious than you.

    You know how much I hate a "me too" response, but ME BLOODY TOO. And for the record, I'd never go to a party where models and pros weren't welcome.

    hugs and tgif,

    Mija

    ReplyDelete
  16. Mija -- that had to be time-consuming! Thank you. ♥

    Didn't you just love it when she said that no model would EVER be welcome at one of her parties? I do hope I wasn't too out of line when I said I'd rather dine on shards of glass than attend one of her dreary little parties. (snort)

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  17. What can I say? I've always got to know what's going on. Especially dirt.

    But your blog is too nice a place for this discussion. Let's talk about how much fun we have at the parties we DO go to. Personally I'm relieved we'll never have to see her at Shadow Lane. Phew!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Mija -- yes, be glad. I did, years ago. It was just as unpleasant as you might imagine. Anyway, you're right! Here's to wonderful parties with good friends (and models, too!).

    ReplyDelete
  19. That's awful, Erica. Very shocking email to get, no doubt. I give you alot of credit for defending your friends the way you do. I read all of the postings and know she hinted at exposing another "friend" of her own, there.

    I am opinionated EVERYwhere, but try to refrain from rocking the boat on there because I want a carefree outlet to read good posts, goof off with friends and admire pics. You handled the mess with much more class than myself if I were in your place.

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  20. Erica, I do not know where to begin with this. It is too obvious what sassy was attenpting to do. And by targeting you, she hoped that the flak you would get would make an example of you, as well as frighten others into not challenging her when she starts up again. But I feel that she did not anticipate being caught in the fire. Most people like her never so.

    The letter to you is a complete outrage and insult. I have seen far more repugnant things on Fetlife, some of which I plan to remind Christopher very soon, and you are nowhere near any of that. He must have lost his mind to send that to you. Erica, you are a respected person and icon of the Spanking Community and deserve far better than this.

    I am hoping that the rest of the Community, and I mean all of them, rally behind you with this and get you exonerated with an apology. I am hoping for Richard to act as the big guns on this.

    Meantime, I reccommend that you shed little to no tears over this. Standing against assholes is difficult and it is painful. But, for the greater good, it has to be done. And for all that it implies, I do thank you for what you said and did to defend all of our good names. Now let us defend yours.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hi Erica

    I was wondering about FetLife since you have mentioned it in the past. Just a couple of days ago I visited the site to see join. Big surprise I was already signed up. After your post today I am having serious doubts about bothering at all. I am still mostly off the market and if I am not going there to meet like minded people I am not sure of any reason to visit. I don't really know you personally but from your blog and your writing I just can not imagine you as being the source of this. You have always been extremely kind to me.

    hugs +

    Emanuele

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  22. Kelly -- I appreciate that. During that mess, I felt like I was going off the rails sometimes, but I was just so damn mad. Still, I don't regret a word.

    Loki -- please don't be angry with Christopher; he was just doing his job. And he has since written me a nice reply, which was reassuring.

    I'm deeply touched that you want the community to rally for me. But I wouldn't expect too much. Everyone has their own crap to deal with, and in the overall scheme of things, this situation is rather petty (even though it certainly didn't feel that way earlier today).

    Emanuele -- FetLife can be a lot of fun and a good place to hang out with lots of friends at once. But, like any other place where people congregate, there are bullies, whiners and troublemakers present among the good folks.

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  23. @Mija: Please do not take this in any kind of bad way, Mija. But this attack on Erica has to be dealt with it. Because it will not be corrected on its own. So if not here in this blog, then can we find a spot that is sutible. Because to just let it go is a real bad idea. Trust me on this.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Loki -- I'm open for suggestions, but honestly, I don't think people are going to be willing to do risk their own status on FetLife or anywhere else to make a deal out of this. It's sad that it had to happen, but like I said, Christopher has already reassured me. What upsets me is the possibility that someone else reported me, not Sassy. She hasn't blocked me on FetLife; if she found me that distressing, she would have done so. So, it nags at the back of my mind that someone else stirred this up for spite, because those wars were over weeks ago. I have no way of proving that, though.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Apparently I missed out on all the drama (and I'm glad). I think your take on life's issues is very personal and heartfelt. But since I did miss out on all this--which everyone else seems to know about--I'm wondering which group this occurred in?

    Yesterday, I joined Bottom Lines_UK on the recommendation of a friend. I noticed (of course) that you were not a member. I heard that Fetlife is often referred to as Fetlie because there are so many people who are deceptive and deceitful therel Personally, I enjoy FL, but if they were to turn around and ban you, I would give them up in a heartbeat.

    I'm so sorry that you have been dragged into this mess, and I'm equally sure that you will be vindicated. I hope that you and John will be able to enjoy your time together over the weekend!

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  26. First - sorry.. but this will be long.

    Oh Erica.... shed not one more tear over this, .. ya hear me?? She's not worth typing a multitude of ellipses out just for wicked emphasis .. (even though ... I love to use them for those....uhh.... pregnant pauses in my typing speech....LOL)

    Did you know I was on Fetlife when it started? One of the first people working for Fetlife, noticed what a happy go lucky fun loving frequent poster that was always singing the praises of a fun online medium that didn't seem to be a meat market. So they made me owner of the "The Official John Baku Fan Club" Group. LOL

    So, I've always been in good standing with Fetlife, and when the shit hit the fan for lil ol' ME(!), I was mortified! Here's one for the record books for ya, ... YES, I too have received one of those "restraining order form letters" (June 21, 2009 -- and yes, I'm just anal enough to know that factoid-LOL). I was SHOCKED! Devastated! It wasn't MY FAULT! I never started anything, but I damn sure stuck up for myself, and others (in my alpha way -snorts!) because ONE MAN ridiculed, humiliated, and came down on me worse than an evil school bully!

    My "decree" from the powers that be at Fetlife was due to the daily tete a tete I was in with one of John Baku's (founder of Fetlife) friends. Yes, the one and only, pain-in-my-azz, infamous, jackwagon/asshat -slash- evil rat bastard from Canada(who shall remain nameless) - but he goes by the name of one of the famous French impressionist painters, and it wasn't Monet,Sisley or Bazille.. but it sorta rhymes with "war". LOL (not to hard to figure out that puzzle huh?) LOL.

    It seemed like every thread I tried to post in - if he happened to be a member of said group, he was bullying me, and putting me down every chance he got. Dissecting my sentence structure, slaughtering my command of (or to hear him tell it), my lack of command of the English language. He pissed me off royally to say the least. AND, it wasn't just me, he was an asshole to everyone he saw was standing up for me. He only got to stay in the group because he was who he was .. a big man with a personal friendship with.. who else.. John Baku.

    Oh yeah, I wrote the caretaker back when I got my letter, and told her that deleting MY posts, and leaving his ABOUT ME, was NOT FAIR. I said, "What's good for the goose..." yada, yada, yada) After I bitched a bit more, HIS posts were removed as well.

    That man was so full of verbal venom.. that eventually he got his soon to be wife (they're married now) in on the hold passive/aggressive attacks .. AND THAT IS when he got HIS OWN restraining order, and then he came online to bitch unmercifully about that being MY FAULT - and blah, blah, blah.. (I was frankly, scared chitless!) - and after he posted that .. it was only up a short time before the moderator deleted it. He was SOOOO MAD THEY DID THAT! Next thing ya know, he deleted his profile, and had his wife do the same. He wasn't back on Fetlife for like 6 months. I always worried he'd come back and stalk me under another name I'd not recognize. Well, when he came back.. it was under the same name. I have HIM blocked, and every one of his 'relationships' blocked, and ALL his friends blocked - and some of their friends! (that was just in case - cause his friends were telling him where and when I was posting!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. cont....



      Moral of this long story is this... SHIT HAPPENS... and "No good deed goes unpunished".

      Bad part about it all, is that we are good people.. without a mean bone in our bodies. We get a note like that from Fetlife and we feel sick to our stomach.. cause it wasn't us that brought it all on, we were just defending ourselves and our friends.

      (ps.. I'd bet the farm it was miss pitt(y) that complained.)

      Lastly.. some form of revenge always sounds sweet (weg), but if you think negatively along those lines, it only puts you even with your enemy, however, in passing it over, YOU become superior. :-)

      Time for more POSITIVE entertainment! ♥'s you..

      Delete
    2. Dana -- Fetlie?? I like that. Don't worry, they won't ban me. I will give them no reason to do so.

      Zelle -- thank you for this. I'm so sorry you had to go through something like that; it sounds horrible. I don't want revenge. I just want to go on and leave this all behind me.

      Delete
  27. Sorry to hear this Erica. I don't know the ins and outs of what happened (not on FetLife) but I would say move on - you know your perfectly in the right as do your friends and everyone who reads here has the utmost respect for you.

    I hope you can enjoy your weekend.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  28. Dear Erica,

    I'm sorry to hear about that sad story!

    I have made a similar experience on another forum, and I absolutely agree with Poppy's analysis: The original comments were obviously written by someone for whom I even felt sorry in the end because that person must have been very sad. What finally hurt me more was the reaction of the moderators who, in the name of ending a flame war, publicly told off everyone involved. To me it even seemed that in their view I was the villain because I had started the discussion about a comment which in my opinion involved unethical suggestions. After several days of discussion which had worn me out, that was the hardest thing to take.

    I think that your reply on the e-mail which you received from FetLife was very well written. And in my opinion it is great that Christopher obviously took the time to write back and to reassure you that you aren't seen as the villain. I hope that this sign of mutual respect will help you to get over that unpleasant experience.

    I wish you a nice weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Awwww.... I would try not to be upset from anything that SHE caused. Basically she went "wah-wah" to the fetlife care takers and they had to respond. It is their job to remain neutral.

    Think of it like the conversation we had recently. When a total asshole tries to humiliate you and make you sad, it doesn't work because they aren't worth getting upset over.

    Big hugs. Just think, only 2 more months to BBW! :-D

    ReplyDelete
  30. This is unfuckingbelievable! First off, I'm guessing Pitt made the complaint herself. I suppose the people in charge of the site feel they have to take some sort of action when told about something, but it still seems ridiculous to me. I read every one of those posts and she completely brought it on herself and said much more direct and insulting things to people.

    There are entire groups like "Fetlife Rants" that are full of people just making completely mean and snarky comments to anyone who dares post there, but things like that are left alone and THIS is addressed?? The amount of censorship creeping into all areas of the internet is troubling to me, honestly. But that's a whole different story. Just know that many of us don't think you did anything wrong and that this whole thing should've long since been water under the bridge.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Ronnie -- well, I was enjoying the weekend, until I saw this latest flap on my blog, and I got caught in the fallout. When I didn't even do anything.

    There are days when I want to leave it all, I swear.

    Kaelah -- I'm sorry it happened to you as well. I agree, it was kind and considerate of Christopher to write back and reassure me.

    Kat -- you're absolutely right, of course. She's not worth my being upset over. It was the sense of being accused and scolded over something, of being branded a troublemaker, that hurt. But I'm getting over that part.

    Lea -- I appreciate the support, truly. Thank you. And yes, that FetLife Rants group is a nasty piece of business, isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Lame, lame and lame.

    If they read through her posts I'm sure they'll see who the instigator of this mess is. Further, it's rather obvious that someone complained about you--like HER--to the FL authorities.

    What a load of crap.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I did not see the posts in question and can't go back to check because I'm not back on Fet yet *cough*I'llgetaroundtothatatsomepoint*cough* and in anycase, it was over before the mod stirred it up again anyway. I'm sure that the mods wanted to be unbiased and thought it best to contact both sides since they might not have the full story on the issue. However,as Erica pointed out, we have an option to block individuals we don't care for, and many groups have their own rules for handling this sort of issue.

    We've been provided with the means for handling such issues ourselves to a rather extensive degree.

    In my opinion, sometimes it's best to just let the grown-ups handle it themselves. Seriously, helicopter parenting is annoying enough when it happens to kids.

    In the meantime, there are entire groups with highly offensive names, descriptions, and purposes that can cause very real harm to both the members and to those who pass by and see them. I'm talking cutting groups, pro-eating disorder groups, things along those lines that can trigger bad reactions in people just by looking at them. They are allowed to exist uncensored in the name of free speach.

    Perhaps another look at the rules and mod policies is in order? In my outsider's opinion, mod intervention was not needed and in this instance only served to make people feel bad unnessesarily rather than making any difference regarding the actual dispute at hand.

    @Erica: glad the mod gave you a positive response to your letter. Hope the rest of your weekend was uber.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Adriane -- yeah, considering that the flame war was over a couple of weeks ago, I wasn't sure why I was hearing about it now. It just served to make me feel paranoid. But it's true, the second letter made me feel a little better.

    The FetLife folks don't want to have to be babysitters. In a perfect world, we'd all act like adults. Buuuuuuuut... so far, that perfect world has only existed in science fiction.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hello again, Erica. Loki here.

    Earlier you said that you were open to suggestions in regards to this whole nasty business that our lady of the Pitts has dropped into iur collective laps. And I say 'our' because I feel that this is a group issue and should be treated as such for the best results. But first I must tell you a little story.

    Several days ago, a young woman was attacked by at least a dozen of her fellow female high school students. During the course of the attack, this young woman had been punched, kicked, and even hit by a stun gun until a nearby store owner came to her aid.

    During an news interview the woman, only seventeen, expressed her shock at the attack. She did not know any of the attackers nor the cause of the attack. She did know that she was lucky to be alive. The stun gun had hit her twice on her head and she also suffered a small seizure. She has sickle cell. But when asked about what she was going regarding the school, she gave a surprise answer.

    She planned to return to school the following Monday, boldly stating that she was walking in head held high because she had done wrong and she refused to be intimidated.

    This is my suggestion to you, Erica. Like that young lady, you have done nothing wrong in regards to this issue with Fetlife. And defending your friends from verbal harrasment should never be considered wrong. So please when this issue crosses your mind, and I know that it will, do not ever feel that you did the wrong thing by speaking up.

    So for starters keep holding your head high with every and all of your continued Fetlife dealings, because I know that this is not over. And what really bugs the ones who do this kind of thing is to see you doing business as usual. So I do hope that you have a real fun session this week. A real stress relieving blowout that leaves nothing.

    And for everyone of you who are your friends reading this, consider the old saying. "Fight fire with fire." And don't get burned when you do. But most importantly, stick together. There may be risks with that, but for a friend those risks are worth it.

    Loki. :-)

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  36. Loki -- you are very kind to be so concerned about my situation, and I appreciate how fired up you got on my behalf. I have no regrets for anything I said on those FetLife threads. But unfortunately, sometimes sticking your neck out not only accomplishes nothing, it gets you bitten.

    I'm certainly not going to slink away from FetLife over this. But the trouble with fighting fire with fire is, you DO get burned. Unless you're made of fireproof material. And what I'm made of, sadly, is quite flammable.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Maybe it's time to take you AND your financial support and go somewhere else, where you're appreciated?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Brian -- I really don't want to leave FetLife. Despite this unpleasantness, I have many friends there, lots of wonderful comments and correspondences collected, and I would hate to lose it all. Leaving in a huff usually feels good for about five minutes, and then you realize that things continue just fine without you.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hey Erica.

    I really don't want to drag this on much longer here. This is your spot, and I sense that with each response, no matter how well the support, you still feel hurt to the point of feeling responsible for the uproar, though clearly you are the wronged party. In fact, of all concerned parties here wish continue this, I am willing to host this on my page on Fetlife.

    Now what I wanted to add to what you said to Brian's post is that leaving Fetlife would only inconvenience you and encourage your attacker into going after another name in the Community. Perhaps Pixie or Ten. I doubt that she would take on a man. I am proof of that.

    So look lets put this puppy to bed, make our lives extremely happy, but be aware of the troll from the pitt.

    Oh and Erica. Among the many reasons why I get involved is that I am a Libran. And we just hate any kind of unfairness that we come across. Which is a good person to have in your corner. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  40. Sorry to be commenting so late. Wasn't on my computer much Friday or Saturday so missed everything. I did, however, follow the FL thread with the Pitt woman. It should be obvious to anyone actually reading the thread that the Pitt woman was the instigator. Her comments were so consistently infuriating and offensive that she made herself very hard to just ignore. Sorry you had to go through all this.

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  41. SnP -- That's why I'm glad that particular thread was not deleted. It's left intact as evidence, and I have no regrets for anything I said. Thank you. :-)

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