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Friday, February 17, 2012

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 2/17

Happy Chross Day! Congratulations to all fellow Chrosslings. Amazing how this can make our day, right?

Anyway, today's offerings aren't plentiful, but I felt like posting them anyway.

Master would like to be friends

Sorry. Erica would not.

r u willing to meet,obey,serve......lets get together

r u willing to bother reading my profile, u stupid ass?

I'am a very nice looking, 5'10", 175 lb man with a great physique, seeking a submissive female that wants adventure in the realm of submission. Looking for that girl that needs to be trained in the ways of submission...... or are you the woman that knows her roll. The adventure waits for that special girl/women.....are you the one? That special female that wants enjoy the adventure of submissiveness while receiving the attention deserved

Redundant, much? Hmmm. Do I know my roll? Perhaps it's crescent, or could it be Kaiser? Oh, wait! Parker House! Parker House rolls kinda look like little bottoms, don't they?

And finally -- remember my buddy? The one who sent me a photo of his dick and said he'd enjoy brutalizing my ass? Who was looking at my profile nearly every day and wrote once again, a couple of weeks ago, saying "You know you want it"?

Yesterday, I changed my profile photo on Alt to one that shows both my bottom and my face. And last night, I received this:

good to c u show your face.. I have to say that I think u r still missing the real penetrating spanking that has energy that will electrify you.. come for a spank spank

I've seen your penetrator, pal. And while your persistence is perversely flattering, I don't think I'm missing anything, thank you.

Just for fun, I'm going to toss in a few of my bizarre Keyword search phrases. People actually type these?

spanking arms bound by belt

Uhhh... if you bind a spanker's arms, doesn't that sorta defeat the purpose?

carol's first spanking

Who the hell is Carol??

mal dom paddle

(blinking) I know mal means "bad." So is this a bad dom's paddle, or a dom's bad paddle?

And finally -- if anyone can explain this one to me, have at it:

bbw without bottoms eats

I suppose the Boardwalk Badness Weekend without bottoms would certainly bite, but not eat. Or is it that Big Beautiful Women have lost their bottoms somehow, and they're eating to grow them back?

And just how did this convoluted phrase bring someone to my blog??

My head hurts.

Anyway. Fingers crossed that John and I get to have our belated Valentine celebration tomorrow. Have a great weekend, y'all. :-)


  1. One question I can answer, I think, just by googling. Carol is the heroine of a porn video:

    At realspankings they have (had?) a series of videos in which fictive "job interviews" were conducted, during which the girl was spanked. Maybe this is one of those?

    I hadn't heard about this movie myself either, though.

  2. W -- interesting, thanks! OK, that answers who Carol is. But still, I don't get how that phrase brought someone to my blog! (scratching head)

  3. I like the rolls. Tasty. With butter.

  4. Craig -- I do NOT want to know where you put the butter. ;-)

  5. Hehehe LMAO OMG the idiot's that write you are funny and the replie's you give back are hilarious YOU GO GIRL :-)I hope you and John get to have your belated Valentine's weekend as well, I am happy that i had something to do with putting a smile on you and John's face for Valentine's he is going to be so surprised :-)Enjoy it you both deserve it.Much love and hug's from your naughty girl Jade XOXO

  6. Great post Erica, and congrats to you too on being Chrossed. I loved this post! I don't understand some of the Google phrases I see either, either why anyone would use them or how in the world they led to me. Hope you have a great celebration too. Put me down for crescent rolls btw.

  7. Jade -- we will have great fun consuming your chocolate this weekend. Thank you!

    Spanky -- you got your first Chrossing; are you going to Disneyland now? :-)

  8. I always enjoy these posts, although the "dick" guy seems genuinely unbalanced.

    I particularly like the search criteria; mine are very dull at the moment, mainly centered around interviewees or model appreciations, and 14 who actually were looking for me. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or just disturbing!

    Maybe the bbw one is big bad willies without bottoms eats (someone who thinks large dicks without bum cheeks are not a good thing?). Probably not though.

    All the best


  9. Tim -- mine are usually quite dull too. "Erica Scott," "Erica Scott spanking," "Erica Scott spanked," etc. Yawn. And yes, my Alt buddy is a bit scary. I'm going to continue not replying.

  10. Hey

    You should have an excellent weekend, having to postpone due to necessity.

    Michale Valentine Smith "Waiting Is"


  11. Haha, I like crescent rolls myself. I get odd names in my search words sometimes too. Yours has come up a few times, but I've written book reviews there so that at least makes a bit more sense. Who knows what some people are thinking as they type into Google. Hope you and John have a lovely belated V-day!

  12. Oh holy hell! This batch was funny! And your retorts are killin' me here! ROFLMFAO!!!

    I can't even look for a second at those rolls now! LOL

    Hope John's feeling better so you guys can have a great dinner out or some cool take-out to eat in while watching cool movies and cuddling up on his couch!

  13. I'll jump on the crescent roll bandwagon.

    I hope you guys get to have your belated V day celebration after all. :)

  14. I love your CHoS!

    Speaking of hot buttered buns, we have a rustic French bread here called batard. I always feel like something is missing from that name:)


  15. It is always good for people to know their rolls. I think the world would be a much better place if we all could just get along and share with each other what our rolls are. My favorite rolls are the ones I cook over an open fire on my dutch oven lid .... See, the world already feels just a bit more peaceful. Do your part today share your rolls with the world!


  16. Ah, the articulations of the socially inept... These are always such a hoot.

    With your buddy... That's just creepy. To me, that sets my STALKER-ALERT off. I mean, who really is that persistent? My guess is someone who doesn't know how to let things go. It reminds of me this guy I once exchanged one or two emails with years and years and years ago. He, without fail, emails me at least once a year (sometimes more) trying to get back in touch with me. Maybe it's just me, but that just weirds me out.

  17. Emanuele -- I hope so! So far, so good.

    Lea -- you probably get James Spader search words! :-)

    Zelle -- the reservation is made for one of our favorite restaurants. :-) Can't wait!

    Kelly -- I like crusty sourdough rolls, myself.

    Hermione - ha! I've seen that before. Pronounced bah-TARD, right?

    VBB -- no rolls for me today, just wheat bread on my turkey sandwich. Maybe tomorrow.

    Beth -- it IS weird. If this guy is such hot stuff, why is he bothering with someone who isn't interested? He feels the need to keep coming around, reminding me what I'm missing. Yeah, what's that -- abuse? No, thanks.

  18. It is Saturday night and I just want to say I hope you and John have had a very nice weekend so far.

    That idiot that keeps at you is stalking in my opinion. That would be very creepy if it was happening to me.

    Rolls? I like whole wheat and maybe some of the other kinds mentioned like crescent rolls.

    Have a great rest of the weekend.

  19. Bobbie Jo -- well, he can stalk on Alt to his heart's content, 'cause that's all he has. Fortunately, he doesn't know where I live, and he doesn't have my phone number. (whew)

  20. Those rolls do indeed have a callipygian shape-- but after all, this is about the time of year for Hot Chrossed Buns.

  21. Dave -- callipygian, one of the best words ever! :-)