Correspondence Hall of Shame, 11/12

Happy Friday, everyone. Today's CHoS has only three entries, but I'd say that the last one has enough material for three or four on its own.

Single and looking for a wife .you sound perfect
if you are willing to relocate reply back at we can get toknow each oter better.

Uh... I sound perfect to relocate and marry you? What part of "I'm in a relationship" wasn't clear? Sorry, I'm marriage-averse. I'm also idiot-averse.

i cant beleave how hot and sexy you are in your photo this early morning i love it so much.nothing is nicer then you in a morning.

Beleave [sic] me, honey, there is nothing nice about me in the morning. Must have coffee and a shower. Then I'm still a bitch until noon.

And finally: What do I love, guys? Long, blathering intro emails that are obviously form letters, professing that I just might be the one. Read on:

How'r you doing,hope you fine and in good health condition,i read thru your profile and i really loved what i read and thanks for your intrest,My name is xxxxxxx and i hope u would read my profile and find out more about me,i asked myself some questions and give u the answer,can u also answer them and let me know what you think,i would take them one after the other:

So what do you like to do for fun? Your hobbies and interests can reveal a lot about you, and I'd like to learn more. Is there anything special that you're passionate about? I love swimming,taking walks down the park,observing nature,running and walking,i also love cooking and taking walks by the sea side,I'm passionate about a candle lit dinner with i and my partner holding hands together and sharing intimate things about each other. Are you close to your family? I was asking if you're close to your family in the emotional kind of way, but now that I think about it, do they live nearby, too? I'm not really close to my family,cos i don't have one,but each day and night i really miss them all,they don't live nearby. How would you describe your sense of humor? Some people like silly slapstick, while others go for more subtle stuff. What tickles your funny bone? My sense of humor is quite intresting,i'm shy at first but as we get closer i feel free to express my heart desires. What kind of food do you like? Do you have a favorite restaurant? Some like hot and spicy, others prefer comfort food. If you had to pick one type of food, what would you say is your favorite? I love american food and also italian food and most times,i love to cook for myself.I love Mc donalds.I love comfort food. Wow! We could be a match. Would you like to chat online? It seems like we have a lot in common. I'd love to talk to you more and see what develops. What do you think? here till hear from u soon

(groaning and reaching for the Advil bottle) This one speaks for itself, people. I have nothing to add.

John is into the second week of his IV therapy. He says he is not feeling as fatigued, and although he's still in a weakened state, now it feels more like he has a mild cold instead of a raging flu. He says the docs told him it's OK to stay at the weight he's at right now, because his BMI is fine and a lighter weight is easier on his heart. But between us... he lost 20 pounds, and I would love to see him gain back 10. Perhaps when he's feeling better and can start working out again, he'll put some muscle back on.

It's been a really rough time, but I think I'm seeing some light now. My sweetheart is getting better. I have an awesome new play partner. I actually got a work project this week. And I got Chrossed today (thank you, Chross, for my soaring view count!). For this moment, all is well in my world.

Oh, and because I received a request for a photo that is not bottom-centric, here's a shot of me in happy mode:

Have a great weekend, y'all.