An awesome top with a hard hand and a bagful of toys -- check!
A cheeky brat girl -- check!
And champagne -- check!
What are we celebrating, you ask. CreateSpace finally accepted my @#$%ing book cover, that's what!! :-D Those numbnuts -- gawd, the aggravation they put Zelle and me through!
They rejected the first version with a generic message about "live elements" being outside the image area. No details. Zelle took great pains to make damn sure the second version was even more perfect than the first one... and they rejected it with the same generic message. This time, I was pissed. I knew they were jacking me around, trying to wear me down so I'd order their premium services. Not gonna happen, guys. You're messing with the wrong woman.
I wrote to them and called their 800 number, saying I needed more information, needed them to tell me exactly what needed fixing. This morning, they wrote back to me, and hallelujah, they gave me a precise direction. Itty bitty minor thing. Nitpickers.
Zelle was leaving for vacation tonight, so I didn't want to bug her with this. I figured I'd wait until she was back home. But she wrote to me, asking if they'd OKd it, and I couldn't lie. I told her what was going on and said she should forget about it for now, go have fun and we'd deal with it later. Bless her heart, she insisted that if they did tell me what to fix, I should send it to her immediately.
So I forwarded her their instructions this morning, and within a half-hour, she had it back to me. I not only resubmitted the cover a third time, I called the 800 number again. Told them it was coming and I didn't want another rejection. The guy hemmed and hawed, said they check it thoroughly each time, because Point A could be fixed but in the process, throw Point B off. Fine, whatever... I said OK, but if there IS something wrong with this one, I want specifics right off the bat, no generics. And could they process this faster?
He said he didn't think that could be done, but I'd get my answer within 24-48 hours. But then after our conversation, he wrote to me to follow up (they'd never done that before) and said he'd spoken with the techs. I heard from them in four hours, telling me Congratulations, all looks good and it's time for me to order a proof.
YAHOO!!
I got that message about an hour before New Guy showed up -- how perfect! No fun celebrating alone, is there?
As it happened, a dear friend had given me a bottle of pink champagne a while back, but I rarely drink, so it sat in my fridge waiting for a special occasion. This was it! But first things first, of course.
NG got a brand new Smart Phone, so he was experimenting with taking video on his phone while spanking/strapping me. We got some cute stuff -- it jumps all over the place, but still fun. I guess it takes some superhuman dexterity to hold a cell phone camera steady and whale on someone's a$% at the same time! :-D
Oh, he was in good form tonight, let me tell you. He was strapping me so quickly, I couldn't catch my breath, so I yelped, "Hey! What's your hurry??" He then slowed waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy dowwwwwwwwwwwnnnnn. "Is that better?"
"No! Why does everything have to be so black or white with you tops?" I snapped.
WHACK!!!!! "Everything is red with us." (groan)
Once he decided I was well done, it was champagne time. Did I mention that I rarely drink? A few of you have seen me after I have a glass or so of alcohol. It is utterly ridiculous -- I have the tolerance of a three-year-old. I start giggling and stumbling over my words and I get light-headed right away. As I did tonight. Not drunk... it's not enough to get me drunk. Just with a little buzz. Just enough to have lots and lots of fun.
Well, until I laughed at NG and called him silly one too many times.
Wow. Round #2 was something else. It's all a blur, but I know it hurt. I know it was measured and well paced and it went back and forth from tender to tough and back again. I know I took a very long time to come back down to earth.
I know it was completely wonderful.
"Am I still silly?"
"No....."
Interesting... I don't know if it was subspace, or alcohol space, or a combination of the two. It's not something I would want to make a habit of, but for tonight, with my joy over the book cover, it felt just right.
So is my bottom as pink as the champagne? I'd already faded... phooey.
But I will definitely feel this one tomorrow. Lucky me.
So now, I have ordered a proof. They are shipping it to me this week. I need to review it thoroughly, check all the elements inside and out. And if (I hope I hope I hope, fingers and toes crossed) everything is OK, I let them know, and the book goes on sale.
I'm so close. Can't believe it.
Thank you, Zelle. Thank you, everyone who has been so supportive and encouraging through all this. And thank you, NG. I'm over the moon that I got to celebrate with you. :-)
