Dear Tops...

... will some of you please, please learn how to aim??

Before I get into this, I want to make a couple of things very clear. I am not talking about the occasional stray shot that can happen to anyone, especially tops who are new and don't have much experience with implements. Nor am I talking about strikes that go down the thighs -- I realize that some bottoms are into that and in those cases, it's not mis-aim, but deliberate and consensual.

No, I'm talking about the tops who purport themselves to be proficient, but who, in reality, can't hit the side of a barn. But they can hit the side of a hip, or the side of a thigh, or a tailbone, or anywhere else that's not part of the deal.

What brought this on? Recently I saw a photo; I will not say where. It was a fairly typical shot of a woman after a heavy strapping, which was a punishment requested by her. So it wasn't the severity of her marking that I objected to; again, it was consensual. It was the location. The whole of her bottom was red and mottled... but the side of her right hip looked like someone had worked it over with a circular saw.

This wasn't a case of a stray shot. This was wrapping, over and over and OVER. 

Having been wrapped before (once, to the point of bleeding), I know just how deeply painful this is.

Yeah, I know, I can hear some of you saying, "If it was that bad, she should have safe-worded." I'm not getting into that; that's a whole different subject. The top could what was happening. The top could see this uneven wrapping, this blunt force on the side of one hip, not where it's supposed to be. The top can always see when strokes are going astray. It is their responsibility to self-check and adjust.

I realize that, with long, floppy implements such as straps and canes, it takes some practice to get the proper technique down. So practice, dammit. You think that's beneath you, because you're a Domly Dom and you know everything? Newsflash -- the best tops I've known practice their techniques regularly, particularly when using something new. If they don't have a willing partner, then they use pillows/cushions. Wielding an implement is a skill, a learned skill like any other. You don't become a piano virtuoso without practicing your scales first.

Several years ago, I played with a man who claimed to be thoroughly experienced. He seemed to know what he was talking about, so I decided to give him a try. It was a nightmare. He swung at me so wildly and randomly with a wooden spoon, I wound up in tears and ending the scene. Couldn't he see what was happening, for God's sake? Here's how I looked afterward:

That big red circle? That is not my bottom; that is square in the middle of my hip. And those circles farther down on the side of my thigh? How did he even go there?

Worst part of it? He could not understand why I didn't want to play with him again. He thought it was a hot scene.

It's tops like this who make me appreciate the good, caring, careful ones even more. At the other end of the spectrum we have Joe (DrLectr on Fet), who is one of the few tops I would recommend to any woman, anytime. Granted, he lives with the incomparable Ten Amorette and two other spanko bottoms, so he has plenty of opportunity to practice. But none of that would matter if he didn't care enough to perfect his technique. At the 50 Freaks party, as you may recall, he double-strapped me -- using two heavy straps on me at the same time, one in each hand. Considering that I trust very few men with even one strap in their hand, this was huge. And every - single - strike was spot on. Not too high, not too low. No wraps. No tailbone strikes, even with two straps swinging. Make no mistake, the strapping was hard. But it was even, it was safe, and it was sublime. And having been double-strapped by less proficient tops, I can assure you that the experience is a nightmare in the wrong hands.

And while we're on the subject of aim, I still see a predominance of attention to the right cheek. Tops, please. As Ten likes to say, Make It Even. I swear, that needs to be an anthem for all bottoms. If you have your bottom OTK, then shift them forward slightly so you can also get the cheek nearest you. And if they're bent over something and you're standing at their side, then switch sides if at all possible, halfway through. Aim your implement so that the tip strikes the center, or just to the side of center, of the cheek. Line your cane up so that the tip doesn't extend past the hip. And, above all, watch what you're doing. Monitor your bottom's color and marking. If you see you're off, then adjust. If you have a misfire, move on, but don't keep making the same mistake over and over.

Oh, and if you're a top, and while you're reading anything like this, you automatically think or say, "Where does she get off, topping from the bottom like that?" Then I have just one simple request. Please. Stay. The. Fuck. Away. From. Me.

I will end this on a positive note, with a good example. This is Pandora Blake, having just received a caning from Paul Kennedy (another top I would highly recommend). Notice the perfect spacing, the evenness from cheek to cheek, and how the strokes do NOT extend into the hip. These cane marks are a benchmark.

It's an art, people. The bottom is a canvas. You can make a masterpiece of it, or you can make it a lopsided mess.

Have a great weekend, y'all.