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Wednesday, October 30, 2013

And now, a tender love song (Erica style)

Been a long time since I did a song parody, hasn't it? And I know what some of you are thinking. "Erica, why do you always choose old songs to parody?" Well, duh. Because I'm old! Whaddaya want from me?

But come on, everyone knows Beatles songs. Today's selection is "If I Fell," featured on the A Hard Day's Night soundtrack. Here is the proper version, complete with lyrics. If you haven't heard this before, enjoy. If nothing else, take a moment to fully appreciate what beautiful harmonies John and Paul made.

And while you listen, replace their lyrics with mine. Come on, sing along!

If I fell across your lap
Would you grab a heavy strap
And spank me, understand
‘Cause I’ve gotten spanked before
And I found that it was more,
Than just slappy hands

If I give my bum to you
You must be firm
Don’t just give me some,
Give all, until I moan and squirm

If I trust in you, oh please
Just tan my hide
If I sass you too, oh please
Don’t spare my pride at all
‘Cause I’ll always want the pain
And I would be sad if my new top, couldn’t cane

So I hope you’ll see
That I would love to brat you
And that I will cry
When you learn what to do
‘Cause I’m gonna make a fuss
And I will be mad if my new top, is a wuss

So I hope you’ll see
That I would love your paddle
And that I will cry
When you start spanking me
If I fell across your knee

I'd apologize to Mr. Lennon, but I suspect he just might have liked this version. :-)

In other news, I had my root canal yesterday. The good news is, I was in the best of hands. This endodontist has over 20 years of doing just that -- root canals, and nothing else. He could do the most complicated ones in his sleep. The bad news? He doesn't take my insurance plan, so I had to pay full price. The good news? He was able to save the existing crown, so I don't have to redo that. The bad news? When he got into the tooth, he discovered that in two of the branches, the nerves were dead (expected), but in the third branch, the nerves and tissue were still alive and inflamed (not expected). And when he poked into that, I damn near shot through the ceiling. He had to give me two more shots. Not fun.

I have to go back next Tuesday to finish the procedure. But, as he put it, "no more surprises." 

I really don't feel like going to the gym today. Can someone please convince me that my body isn't going to fall apart into a cellulite-riddled heap if I skip today?


  1. You leave me puzzled and wondering, Erica; you 'd "guess Mr Lennon would have liked it?!?" Pleaz explain!

  2. MrJ -- John Lennon. My favorite Beatle. He was a mischievous sort; probably would have enjoyed the kinky version. :-)

    1. Beings Beatles fans we share - I was just interested in the baiss for your guess. ;-))

  3. Erica, you are beautiful. Your body is not going to go sour if you skip one gym workout. Heck, you could probably skip several, you appear to be in excellent shape.

  4. I have no problem believing John was into spanking in some form.
    SKIP the gym today. You went through mouth HELL-spare yourself the mental fatigue Hell of that place for a day. Today was my 5th in a row and I barely got through 20 minutes of strictly weight lifting.

  5. Anonymous -- thank you; that's very kind of you. Remember though -- if I appear to be in good shape, it's because I don't skip several! But one... perhaps I'll consider that. I just feel so blah today.

    Kelly -- fifth in a row?? Damn, you're way more dedicated than I am!

  6. Hi Erica -- Hope your mouth feels better soon, I am glad there is going to be no more surprises with your tooth :-) I Love your version of this Beatles song.It's AWESOME LOL I think Mr.Lennon would of liked it too :-) Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade

  7. Jade -- I'll be better soon, I promise.

  8. Erica, I loved the parody! It took me back to the first time I saw A Hard Day's Night. Sigh! I'll have to find the DVD at the library and watch it again, alone. (Ron isn't a fan.)

    When I had my first root canals (2 at once) it took four separate appointments to finish the job. That's just the way they did it back then. Now it's usually just one. I've also been to a specialist for one tricky one. Imagine doing nothing by root canals all day, every day. He was really good at his job.


  9. I loved your parody and even softly sang the words to make sure they fell into the proper cadence, lol. Thankfully, no one was around to hear me!

    I've been through root canal, and it is no fun at all--you have my sympathies.... As for the gym, it's not a crime to skip it every now and then. I've been trying to go Monday thru Friday, but missed Tuesday as I was too sore from my physical therapy. Made up for it yesterday and even bought two small dumb bells to work my arms while I am on the bike. :-)

  10. Hermione -- I practically know that movie by heart. :-) Yes, a specialist for root canals is the way to go, if you're at all nervous about it (which I was).

    Dana -- I am very picky about the proper cadence! :-D

  11. Erica read your preview of your going to order my life exept no food disorder.but low self esteem since I was a kid.spanking helps me au lot.strange for a male right.but it works.

  12. Robert -- I hope you will like my book. :-)

  13. I have a feeling you're right that Lennon would have appreciated this version!

  14. Sarah -- he was certainly a bit of a bad boy, no?

  15. Erica, I love your 'Beatles' parody. It has a lot of 'bite ' to eat so to speak. I remember once visiting the British Museum, in London. And there in his own handwriting, was on display Paul McCartney song lyrics "Yesterday". XXX Luv ya.

  16. Six -- now that would be something to see!

  17. Hello, i'm a new fan of this blog.

  18. Love the parody!

    Root canals are terrible. I had my first one earlier this year. They had to dig into all 4 canals on the one molar. It took so long that by the end the shots had worn off so the last 15 minutes or so I felt every single jab.

    I couldn't communicate with the crap they have in your mouth to keep the tooth dry and prop it open, but they could see me jumping and just said "we're almost done." It throbbed for at least a week and almost a year later I still haven't paid it off. I feel your pain!

  19. Lea -- oh, no way. I would have stopped them most emphatically and demanded another shot!