Schedule cleared? Check.
Hair washed? Check.
Legs shaved? Check.
Outfit (and panties) chosen? Check.
Apartment tidied? Check.
Anticipation/excitement built to the point that I can feel my blood thrumming in my veins? Check.
Mr. D? Can't make it.
FUCK.
It's not his fault. It couldn't be helped. This afternoon, there is a family memorial for his mom, and it's right here in the Valley. He was going to come straight over after that. It was going to be a nice long visit, dinner and everything. We were both looking forward to it. But then his sister, who is from out of state, asked him if she could go home with him after the gathering and stay the night, and then would he please take her to the airport in the morning?
What's he supposed to say? "Sorry, sis, I have a date with my spanking partner"? Right. Not in the real world.
Yes, I know this is what's known as a First World Problem. Don't tell me I'm whining; I know I'm whining. But goddammit, I was really, really geared up for this visit, this session.
Fellow bottoms: You know what it's like to be really looking forward to a spanking session with a beloved top, only to have it yanked away at the last minute. For those of you who don't know how it feels, I'll endeavor to explain.
It feels kinda like this:
It feels like craving your favorite treat so much, you get in your car and drive to the bakery, all the while anticipating your treat. By the time you get there, you want it so badly, you can practically taste it. And then you find out it's sold out.
I'm not a man, but I would imagine it kinda feels like that condition guys get (or they say they get) when they were expecting sex and then don't get it. Perhaps the spanko equivalent to blue balls is white butt.
It's like the olden days before TiVo and Hulu and everything on TV being available everywhere, when you used to look forward every week to your favorite program. The time would finally come, you'd sit down in front of the TV all excited... only to hear "Tonight's episode of blah blah blah will not be seen tonight, so we can bring you..." NOOOOOOO!
It's like planning a weekend getaway, down to the last detail, eagerly anticipating how much fun you're going to have and all the cool things you're going to do. The car is finally packed, you do a last-minute check of everything and then you jump behind the wheel -- and the car doesn't start.
It makes you want to scream, "Fuck life! Fuck reality! I don't care! I want what I want NOW!" And of course, you can't. Because you're a Grown Up, not a child. Because you have to be mature and reasonable.
Oh, fuck that, too.
Yeah, yeah, I know. There's always next week. (sigh) The day will go on; I'll fill it with something else. But you can't blame a girl for cussing a bit and shedding a disappointed tear.
OK, maybe a few tears. GodDAMMIT. :-(
Thank you, Erica, for your clarifying account. While that dog picture already helped, your comparison with sex-expected/not-experienced really made me understand. LOL
ReplyDeleteI am sending you some positive energy, so that you have at least something to warm up.
I know this feeling well. I want what I want when I want it! LOL These 1st. World issues may not seem like a real problem, but they are to us. We all have these times of frustration and what bothers me may not bother someone else and vise versa. I'll send some good thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteOh that really, really sucks. I got cancelled on last minute earlier this evening. I totally get it. I also hate when bullshit news stuff interrupts Days of our Lives. ALL the time. How about you interrupt the news with news? Why must everything come on at 2 pm Mountain time? Grr... I hope your week gets better.
ReplyDeletejoey -- thanks. Yeah, it kinda does. It's not just the spanking, though. It's the closeness. I really wanted that today.
ReplyDeleteMrJ -- I'm a writer at heart. I'm always trying to come up with examples and analogies.
Bobbie Jo -- thanks for understanding. I'm sure some people think I'm a whining ingrate. But, oh well.
Lea -- ugh! I'm sorry. This is ancient history for you, but back in the 70s, they showed the Watergate hearings every day all one summer. John said he thought they were fascinating. I couldn't care less; I was just pissed because they preempted the soaps and game shows!
Hi Erica -- It totally SUCKS when your expecting a spanking,then you don't get it :-( I want what i want when i want it too.You look so sad in your pic and i don't blame you cause i would feel,sad,frustrated and disappointed too.I wish there was something i could do to cheer you up,Looking at you in this pic make's me want to give you a big hug.Sending good thought's and wishe's your way.Much Love and hug's from naughty girl Jade
ReplyDeleteJade -- that's actually an older picture; I didn't take it today. But it suited how I was feeling. Please don't worry; I'm OK.
ReplyDeleteI haven't much to say to cheer you up except I am sure venting helped a little. What I do have to say is this is one eloquent post in the explaining to others (or at least me) how it feels for someone looking forward to receiving a spanking and not getting it.
ReplyDeleteFor the record, blue balls is very much real (unfortunately).
Enzo -- thanks. I appreciate the validation. Oh, I totally believe the condition of blue balls is real. I just think that, historically, some young men have invoked it as a reason for young ladies to feel guilty and give them sex! :-)
ReplyDeleteYez, it suxs. Nothing a bottle of wine will not relieve.
ReplyDeleteIn re Watergate hearings, one of the best parts was when Sam Irwin eyebrows bobbed up and down.
Yes, Erica. You said it all in your essay. I will say it in one word FRUSTRATION.
ReplyDeleteYou have every right to be disappointed. Stupid sister!
ReplyDeleteHere in Canada, CBC knows not to mess with Coronation Street. If they pre-empt it for something boring like hockey or the Olympics, they make sure they air the program earlier or double up on episodes until we've caught up.
When I depended on the VCR to capture all my favourite shows, I'd hate it when I put the tape in and got some stupid Presidential message instead of my program. Now with the PVR I don't have to worry. It does the thinking for me, and finds the shows I want no matter when they air.
Hugs,
Hermione
OBB -- I almost never drink. So I had chocolate instead.
ReplyDeleteSix -- yeah, that's the word.
Hermione -- that is so cool! I don't have one of those. I have a DVR, but I still have to set it up to record a program and if something else is aired, oh well! Arggh.
Erice, nice panty shot...
ReplyDeleteBut yes I do know from both the top and the bottom, it does suck but the next time will be even better, well that is what we are told to believe but happens a lot in my life, both ways and sucks both sides of it.
Chocolate works well!!
Wine better.
Sorry, chin up or should I say bottom up!
Always
Ron
Ron -- wine isn't an option for me. Whine is, though. :-)
ReplyDeleteErica
ReplyDeleteI forgot so please whine away!!!
Always
Ron
Kelly -- it does suck. It happens, as life happens, but it still feels wretched.
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You put your feelings into great words. I feel all of us that love to be spanked and know we have one coming and are ready for it, only to have something interfear with it, can be so upseting. When I know the Mrs. is going to give me a good long spanking, I get so ready for it only to have it not happen. Hair pulling time.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found your way thru it and yes the next one will make up for it.
archedone
archedone -- glad you understand! I felt a little weird grousing about it, but I figured some could relate. :-)
ReplyDelete