@#$%ing Tootsie Rolls!

Yes, I know. That's a very strange title for a blog entry. But I do have an explanation. (don't I always?)

I love Tootsie Rolls. I always have a bag of the Midgees in my kitchen, and I usually have a few of them in a Baggie in my purse. Last Saturday at John's while we were watching TV, we were having snacks and drinking coffee, and I pulled a Tootsie Roll out of my purse to munch on.

The next day, John took me by the hand when I was about to leave. "Come over here, young lady." He led me over to his coffee table and pointed. I looked down and saw magazines, a couple of DVDs, the DVD remote. Oh, and one lone crumpled Tootsie Roll wrapper.

"Do you think my coffee table is a garbage receptacle?" he asked. Well no, of course not. I merely overlooked that little wrapper when we were cleaning up.

"Here's what you're going to do," he ordered, still gripping my hand. "You're going to tell [New Guy] about this, and have him handle it as he sees fit. Then you have him email me and tell me if he thinks the situation was handled well enough, or if you need more. If he and I determine that further punishment is in order, I'm taking you to Las Vegas this weekend and letting everyone spank you."

Oh, brother. Sure, honey. Whatever you say. I figured he was just in pre-Shadow Lane toppy tease mode, but then tonight on the phone, he reiterated what he wanted me to do. Fine...

So New Guy came over, and I told him the story. Surprise, surprise, he agreed with John that I'd committed an egregious and irresponsible act. (rolling eyes) "Too bad we don't have that wrapper here," he said.

"Oh, but we do," I said, giggling. I got up, went to the kitchen and came back holding a Tootsie Roll Midgee. He unwrapped it and we split it. Then he crumpled the wrapper and threw it on my coffee table. "Is that about the way it was on John's table?" he asked. "Yup," I said.

"I think you need to get up close and personal with that wrapper." He then cleared everything off the table (except the wrapper). Next thing I knew, I was on the table.

Spanking and lecturing then ensued, with the intent being that I'd never forget to pick up after myself again. (Dammit! I just overlooked it! I cleaned up everything else! Argghh) Ah, but NG is diabolical. He took it an extra step.

"I think you should have that wrapper taped to your nose."

Yeah, right. And I think you should go fornicate yourself.

He told me to go get some tape. I said no. He convinced me with his heavy black strap that I really should go get the @#$%ing tape.

Yes, kids. I had to endure the rest of the spanking with a Tootsie Roll wrapper taped to my nose.

The grand finale was 10 belt strokes, and he said I needed to count them and say after each one, "I will not leave Tootsie Roll wrappers laying around."

"Do you want me to leave the incorrect grammar intact?" I snapped. Laying, indeed. I got extra for correcting him, but it was well worth it.

(sigh) I'm afraid I failed to grasp the gravity of the situation. I just couldn't stop laughing.

We actually didn't play all that hard tonight, honestly. I think he was leaving me in one piece for this coming weekend. I will not see him next Monday, as we'll just be getting home. But I have no doubt that in two weeks, he'll make up for it.

And I'll be happy to see him, as always. :-)