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Thursday, June 9, 2011

A taste of honey...

... is worse than none at all.

My fellow oldies aficionados will recognize that as a line from "I Second That Emotion" by Smokey Robinson & the Miracles. Do you think it's true?

Bizarre phenomenon about this thing we do. At times during my years in this, I've had droughts -- weeks, months without it. I didn't like that one bit, but for the most part, I dealt with it. But now that I'm getting spanked weekly, it's in my blood. If I go without it, I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin.

Because I had eating disorders for so many years and food was my drug of choice, I often liken things I enjoy to food. Allow me to wax metaphorical here for a few moments.

During the three weeks before last Saturday (three New Guy-less weeks), I had a vague but persistent craving for chocolate cake.



















It was annoying, to be sure. And it wouldn't go away.

Then, last Saturday, it happened. Ahhhh, there it was, Devil's Food cake, proffered by quite the devilish one himself. Mmmmmmmmm. I got to have one wonderful taste.












Plus a little extra frosting, if you count the quickie fortune-cookie caning. Then I had to wrench myself away.

And I've been obsessing about that fucking cake ever since.

A taste wasn't enough. The greedy monster within was roused, and I wanted more.

I am not making this up -- last Saturday night, I woke in the middle of the night, all keyed up from the day, unable to go back to sleep. I had a terrible urge to waken John and say, "Hey, honey, wouldja...?" No, not have sex with me; spank me. My whole body craved it. But I didn't wake him up, of course. The man works insane hours and is an exercise junkie; he is chronically exhausted. He needs his rest.

New Guy and I had an interesting exchange this week, as you know. He'll be back in town tomorrow and back in my apartment this following Monday. When he said it looked like I'd gotten what I deserve at Spanking Court, I said it was an appetizer (again with the food!). He wrote back that I could expect an all-you-can-eat buffet from him. Never knowing when to stop, I told him that sounded dirty. :-D He then answered that I'm a naughty girl and I have a filthy mind.

(Yeah... and your point is...?)

But you know, I am a very lucky woman. I don't have to wait and crave much longer. That exquisite and ferocious pain, the surge of emotions, the sweet oblivion... all will be mine once again. Soon.














(Don't you want to just dive into that? I do!)

The greedy little monster within will be sated. I will have all the chocolate cake my little heart desires. And whaddaya know... I won't gain an ounce. :-)

19 comments:

  1. You glutton you!

    "Is that Heath Bar Chocolate cake"?

    I'm feeling like something decadent myself.. pass me a fork please!

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  2. Zelle -- it's chocolate peanut-butter cup cake. Fork? We don't need no stinkin' forks -- use your fingers! :-D

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  3. Erica,

    You crave chocolate cake, I crave ice cream. Dang is it ever hard to stop. It doesn't help when a friend buys some goody chocolate ice cream on a stick covered with dark chocolate. I could have wrung her neck for that.

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  4. Bobbie Jo -- oh yes. When friends are having cake, it makes me want it more. ;-)

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  5. Hi Erica that chocolate cake sure look's good YUM, Now your making me want cake hehehe LOL,I am glad that NG is back, You are really going to get it good from him OUCH, but that is a good thing :-) I crave spanking all the time. I agree that we don't need no stinkin fork for the cake, let's just use our fingers, getting messy is fun don't ya think hehehe. Sending you lot's of Love and big hug's From your naughty girl Jade xoxo

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  6. Erica, did'nt Marie Antoinette, say "Let them eat cake". And look what happened to her.

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  7. So Erica, Wish for a 'knish', it might be a good 'dish. For goodness sake, don't eat cake'

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  8. Jade -- yes, it's a very good thing. :-)

    six -- not to worry; I'm not going to gorge myself with cake (or knishes). It was a metaphor. :-)

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  9. I have a few guilty pleasures: Hostess Snowballs (pink only, I swear the white ones aren't nearly as decadent!), Flakey Flix, Skinny Cow Dolce de Leche "ice cream"...

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  10. Craig -- are you serious? I thought I was the only one on the planet who liked Hostess Sno-Balls. And you're right -- that Day-Glo pink is a must (or the St. Patrick's green, or Halloween orange).

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  11. Sheesh - this topic I know all about. A taste of it is enough to make a crazed woman, not that I have lived that recently or anything.

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  12. Poppy -- I know you know it, darlin'. There are times when I doubt my sanity... then I realize I'm am so NOT alone in this.

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  13. I get food cravings too (as well as spanking cravings)-- for chocolate cake or ice cream, or something creamy and custardy like tiramisu. I know how you feel about cheesecake, so we won't go there. :-) But as much as I love the sweet treats, my cravings are usually more on the savory/salty side--for example, curry. I can't get enough of highly seasonal spicy foods.

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  14. Dana -- I guess I was too metaphorical... people seem to have misunderstood me. This blog has absolutely nothing to do with cake. :-)

    I never crave salty/spicy, for whatever reason. Just doesn't appeal. John does -- he calls potato chips and nuts "salt delivery systems." LOL

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  15. I guess I was focusing on the cravings that I have the power to fulfill, albeit to my disadvantage in terms of weight gain... My desire for spanking, on the other hand, remains constant and unfulfillable, thus the desire to bury it. It seems that my prayers will go unanswered. I am experiencing severe deprivation in the spanking arena, with no hope for relief in sight. My top has disappeared into the ether, and I am grieving. It is a vicarious joy to be able to read your accounts, since it is unlikely that I will ever experience such joys again. At the moment, I am so sad that I no longer desire the the comfort of comfort foods. Rejection in any of all its forms is a real bitch. Sorry for going off on a personal tangent, but you're one of the only people that I can be truthful with. My life is so very vanilla. Thank god, my husband and I will be going away on vacation next Friday (for a week). That should give me some time to heal and appreciate the many good things I have in this life. Sorry for rambling on, but I just feel totally shitty, and don't know what to do with my feelings...

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  16. Dana -- please don't be sorry, sweetie. You've had a loss and it hurts like hell. Sadly, it's human nature to be sad over that which we don't have, even when we consciously know that we DO have a lot. Be gentle with yourself.

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  17. (can't believe I'm the first commenter to use this line) Who says you can't have your cake and eat it, too? ;-) Only 3 more days!

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  18. Lea -- yes indeed! Getting closer... and he's back in CA, writing me threatening notes again. :-D

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  19. I know about food cravings and I also know about spanking cravings. About the latter, I had about a 20yr hiaitas, but when I lost DH, within a couple of months it came on very strong. It has abatted some, but I have not had a spanking for about 35-40 yrs! Unless I did it myself and I don't do that. So I just have to deal with it and I am thinking about searching for a partner.

    As for the food thing, well, ice cream, and if I have a cold, salsa and pasta with pasta sauce. Yeah, I sometimes get what I call the "munchies" and I want something salty like Wheat Thins and potato chips.

    One thing that I have near me and that is a very nice place at a river. One of my special places to go early, though I miss DH very much. It will be lonely down there without him, but I can take my dog with me so that will help (or maybe be a pain in the kazoo LOL)

    Now where can I get some ice cream quick?!

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