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Friday, March 22, 2013

Rant: You want to do WHAT to yourself??

OK, kids. It's been a while since I posted anything controversial. Lest you think I'm mellowing in my advanced age, never fear. I have just as many "WTF???" moments as ever. And lately, I've had a few over some of the stuff people do to their bodies.

Yes, I know. Don't judge. Live and let live. We all have different ways of expressing ourselves. Blah blah blah. I get that. But come on. There are some things that permanently alter the body in ways that can be only described as mutilation. I can understand the desire for pain; I certainly have it to some degree. But I do not want permanent damage or alteration to my flesh.

No, I'm not talking about tattoos. I have no issue with tats, even though I don't have any myself. As long as you think carefully about what you want forever inked on your skin (in other words, don't do it on impulse, on a bet, or in a drunken stupor), and do it safely, then have at it, I say. If I were to get a tattoo, I know exactly what I'd choose. A "tramp stamp" (on the small of the back, just above the bottom) of a pair of lips puckered into a kiss, and underneath that, an arrow pointing downward. :-)

I'm not talking about piercings, either. OK, some of them are extreme. I can't help but shudder when I see rings through nose cartilage or studs on tongues. But here's the good news about piercings: If you get sick of them, you can let them heal up and go away. Should the day come when you decide you're sick of jewelry snagging on clothing and tearing your pink bits, you can remove it and the holes will reseal.

This, however, will NOT reseal:




What in God's name possesses people to do this to their earlobes? And this wasn't even the largest hole I saw while perusing pictures. And if you think this is unattractive, you should see what the flesh looks like when you take the jewelry out. And you're stuck with that. Forever. Unless you have some sort of elaborate cosmetic surgery to repair it.

Why stop there, people? Why not slit the earlobe vertically, pierce both pieces and hang little weights on each one? Then, after the earlobe pieces have stretched into strings, you can tie them together into a bow. How festive! You could paint them red at Christmas time. Or blue for Hanukkah, if you're so inclined.

I'm also not going to touch on the spectrum of burning/branding/scarring. My mind can't wrap about that and I don't want to offend anyone. But there is a specific form of body alteration that I can't comprehend to save my life, and it begs for a hearty "WTF????" It's a form of penile mutilation, called subincision. Essentially, it's a split dick. The underside of the penis is split lengthwise. Deliberately.

I will spare you the photos of that. But I've seen one, up close and personal. It was at a BDSM party (naturally), and a young man in attendance was fully naked. The first thing one noticed about him was the multiple piercings, everywhere. All over his face, several on his ears, his nipples, his genitalia. The guy had more metal on him than a Kay Jewelers. But when he showed us his subincision, I damn near ran from the room. 

"Oh, my god," I hissed to John. "How... why? How does he pee??"

"Sitting down," John replied. I will never forget that image. And I can't help but wonder what happens when this guy gets a little older and regrets his youthful folly. Sure, all his piercings will heal if he wants. But that split dick is forever.

Earlier this week, I saw a funny e-card that read: "The newest rising trend is anal bleaching. Good idea, since some assholes really need to lighten up." I laughed. Then thought, "Wait a minute. Anal bleaching? WTF??"

So I Googled it, and sure enough, it's real. They actually do it in salons. It started out as a porn star thing, but it's not just for porn stars anymore.

Who the hell even thinks about stuff like this?? WHY? I mean, has a woman ever been rejected because her back door is the wrong hue? Maybe in an HBO version of Seinfeld:

Jerry: Betty Jean is really hot, but I'm gonna have to dump her.
George: Why??
Jerry: Well, ya know, it's her a$$hole. It's too dark.
George. Oh. Yeah. Hate the dark a$$hole.

I also read further about the damage that can be inflicted upon that oh-so-tender tissue if the procedure is done improperly. Yeah, don't try this at home with a mirror and a bottle of Clorox.

Better yet, don't do it at all. Just say no to ass bleach.

Yeah, I suppose I've offended some body modifiers, and I regret that. But I really do wish some of the extremists would think very carefully about how permanent these alterations are. You have one body, and you have to live in it the rest of your days. It's your house, not your amusement park.

Rant over. Have a great weekend, y'all. OH! And happiest of birthdays to our very own Wolfie! :-D

25 comments:

  1. I completely agree with everything you said. I've seen those earlobe "enhancements" on a show called "Taboo" which airs on some cable channel-maybe History or National Geographic? They showed people who had their tongues sliced in two as well.

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  2. Kelly -- I read about that "snake tongue" as well. (shudder) I couldn't bring myself to look at the pictures.

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  3. Erica,

    My wife and I attended a Heavy Metal concert in AC. We both felt so out of it when we saw all the piercings and body art on the young men and women.

    I felt so vanilla compared to them. It was really strange.

    Hug,
    joey

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  4. Hi Erica OMG I can't stop giggling :-)I never heard of someone bleaching their ass before, HEHEHE LOL that must burn and sting like HELL WTF? I agree with you that some of the thing's people do to their bodie's are a bit extreme and CRAZY.I also think some piercing's are creepy and gross.As with the pic you posted WTF? and YUCK.Maybe next someone will have there nose split in half HEHEHE LOL.It may be possible but you never know.HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOLFIE :-) Wishing you and John a nice weekend.Much Love and hug's from naughty girl Jade

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  5. Haha, I have no clue why people do that to themselves, I don't think its pretty...

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  6. I heard about the anal bleaching years ago, probably because I used to listen to Howard Stern. The porn actresses were doing it back then, not sure if anybody else was yet.

    As for the ears, there's a kid (he's 24, which means I'm old enough to be his mother, so he's a kid LOL) at work who has solid plugs in his ears about the same size as in that picture. He said he'd have to get them stitched up later if he decided he didn't want them anymore, because he doubted that they'd heal up even though he went the stretch route instead of the punch out route.

    So I take it you haven't seen the guys who get metal implants under their skin, usually under the scalp? Makes them look like they're growing horns or something. And I know you don't have a problem with piercings, but have you SEEN the corset piercings? Yikes!

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  7. joey -- I guess vanilla is relative, huh?

    Jade -- I don't want to see a split nose. I hope to hell I never do!

    Julia -- I don't even think it's about esthetics, most of the time. It's about making a statement. But the rest of us have to look at it.

    Jen -- Oh, Christ. No, I have not seen the implants or the corset piercings. I've had enough visions that require brain bleach to last me a lifetime already! lol

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    1. Yeah, I can't handle the corset piercing pics myself, because they always put ribbons linking the piercings, and it looks painful to me. LOL The implants make the guys look like mutants with big bumps under their scalps!

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  8. I'm speechless.

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  9. Penile subincision. Speaking only for myself: No way, Absolutely not, nuh uh, and eww. Not to mention "ahhhh" and "owwwwwwwww."

    Thank you for giving us a verbal image and not the visual.

    As for bleaching, why can't they use toilet paper like everybody else.

    Mick

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  10. Anonymous -- LOL. I'm going to assume you're speechless over the modifications, and not over my temerity to discuss them?

    Mick -- you're welcome. I know it's an image that never, ever leaves. much to my regret.

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  11. As for the ear thing, some African tribes do that and also with the lips. Then there are the guys who have someone cut their backs so the scars have the pattern of a crocodile. I have a feeling that those who have the all-over ink tats will regret it when they get to be about age 60 or more. I don't get all the real harm being done. It does catch up later in life. In a way, I feel for them for what they will have to face.

    As for making a statement, and the rest of us having to look at them, that is the point. They like that shock value. Eventually, though, many will regret it.

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  12. Bobbie Jo -- regarding tattoos, I get the impression that those who choose theirs carefully and thoughtfully tend to not regret them later. Or regret them less at least than, say, the kid who gets his girlfriend's name tatted on his arm and then breaks up with her next week.

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  13. I watched a woman with 'corset' piercings stitching the same to another topless woman at the the Folsom St. fair in San Francisco a few years ago. I didn't want to be rude by staring, but I suppose that was half the point of doing it in public, lol. I have to admit, it did give me the heebie jeebies!

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  14. Well, that was more than I wanted to know. Spanking is kinky enough for me, thank you. That poor man!

    I remember first seeing those giant earlobe piercings in Ripley's Believe It or Not and well as in National Geographic. Besides holes in the earlobes big enough to hold a dinner plate, some women added metal rings to their necks, one by one, until their necks were stretched about two feet long.

    As for tattoos, it seems they are as necessary for chefs as a good set of knives. Every chef on Food Network seems to have his or her arms covered with multicoloured inks.

    Hugs,
    Hermione the uninked

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  15. Erica, on a more pleasureable subject matter. Happy Pesach to you, and Happy Easter, to your boyfriend. XXX Luv ya.

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  16. Dana -- being squeamish definitely isn't an advantage in this arena! (raising hand)

    Hermione -- thing is, he chose that! No one tied him down and inflicted it on him. It boggles my mind.

    Six -- thank you. Same to you!

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  17. Split dick, huh? Now that is something I haven't seen. I had my tongue pierced when I turned 18 in an act of defiance of my teenage suburban repression. Lol. It was interesting learning to eat without biting it and breaking the damn thing. I took it out about 6 months later and let it seal because my new job wouldn't allow it.

    There's a little scar on my tongue that my dentist noticed but the average person wouldn't be able to tell. As you say, most seal up. No big deal. I have no tattoos but it's been suggested by more than a few people that I get a Peep. I think it's funny and wouldn't regret some small thing on my shoulder, easily covered. But tattoo work is so damn expensive.

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  18. Lea -- absolutely, you should get a Peep tattoo! :-D I think one of the biggest deterrents to tongue studs is how they send so many wearers to the dentist with broken/chipped teeth. I don't even like it when I bite my tongue by accident, so I can't even imagine that pain!

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  19. Hi

    Nice post and fun, you don't offend people I hope you are polite and intelligent about your thoughts. I too do not understand the body modifying gig but it is who they are and more power to them. I like ink if it is done with some dignity and class, like everything including spanking, show class when you are doing it.

    Nice thoughts, thanks
    Always
    Ron

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  20. Erica,

    A man named Dennis Avner, who called himself Stalking Cat, was likely the best-known extreme body modifier - until he committed suicide a few months ago, that is..
    Dennis had multiple subdermal implants, a bifurcated top lip, and even went to the trouble, pain, and expense of having 'whiskers' implanted in his cheeks and his septum, ahem, relocated.
    Why would someone like Dennis do all this to his body? All the pain and ridicule?

    He spoke often over the years that he truly felt that these modifications were not physical, but spiritual alterations, meant to bring him closer to his spirit animal. Thousands of people were touched by his transformations, and many went on to emulate his journey to become something 'other than human'. Stalking cat was one of the pioneers, and enjoyed a relative celebrity, appearing on television numerous times through the years.

    His recent suicide made lots of folks say "It was bound to happen...look at him!"
    Granted, he may have been a bit nutty, but he was certainly unique. Personally, I think that he, along with many other folks who do these extreme mods, felt as though he didn't fit in with the world around him, and it just made sense to make the outside match the in.

    (love you)
    Dana

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  21. During my Police service I was once called to a public toilet where a female drug addict had overdosed. Her face and ears were almost covered with studs and rings. I wondered momentarily what kind of metal she had under her clothes before my subconscious told me "You really don't want to know." The ambulance had arrived so I left her to them.

    John

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  22. Dana -- your point is well taken. People have their reasons. Thank you. ♥

    I'd never heard of Dennis, so I Googled him. How sad to commit suicide at 54, after all that pain and effort he went to. :-(

    John -- my John has body jewelry. He has been stopped at airport security, and when asked what he had on him, he replied, "Body jewelry. Would you like me to show it to you?" "Uh, no, sir," they said.

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  23. "The newest rising trend is anal bleaching. Good idea, since some assholes really need to lighten up." I laughed. Then thought, "Wait a minute. Anal bleaching? WTF??"


    Oh Erica, thank you sooo much. This made my day!

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