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Thursday, December 20, 2012

Sh*t that John talks me into

So last Saturday, John and I were at his sister's restaurant, and as we were leaving, she said, "Hey, you know, Santa's at Beantown this afternoon."

Beantown is the local coffeehouse. Very charming place, lots of atmosphere. The coffee is mediocre, but it's a fun place to hang out. Anyway, my reaction was "So?" (I didn't say it, just thought it.) However, John had other ideas.

"Oh, we have to go to Beantown and get a picture of you on Santa's lap," he said. Right, honey. Not in this lifetime.

"No, really," he insisted. "Let's go! You want to see Santa, don't you?" No, not particularly. But he wouldn't stop teasing me about it, until I finally agreed to go to Beantown.

As we pulled into the little town square, I could see a lot of people with small children on the street, and all the parking spaces were full. "Oh well, there's no parking," I said, ready to turn around and go home. But just then, a car pulled out of a space right in front of Beantown. "Um, how about right there, sweetie?" John said. No excuses for me.

So we parked and went in. Beantown was looking very festive, with a tree and lots of different hanging decorations. And sure enough, there was Santa, along with two very cute (and scantily clad) female elves. At the moment, there was no one posing with him, so one of the elves approached me, beaming. "Want a picture?" she said.

I started to demur, but John wouldn't hear of it. (groan) Fine, all right. Feeling somewhat asinine, I approached Santa, who twinkled at me and patted his lap. "Have you been a good girl this year?" he asked.

Oh, brother.

John said I blew a great opportunity; that I should have smiled and said, "Actually, I've been a very bad girl." And Mr. D said I should have laid over his lap rather than sitting on it. To both suggestions, my reaction was, "Ew." Sorry, y'all. I don't have any Santa fantasies and I don't want to flirt with him. Plus, if I'd been dressed up reasonably nicely, I might have felt sexy enough to pull it off, but I was in sweats with no makeup. So I simply answered, "Of course!"

Yes, I'm going to hell for lying to Santa. Just add that to the 5,782 other reasons I'm going to hell. :-)

Enough stalling. Here I am with Fatso dear jolly Santa in all my glory:

All right, kiddies. Go ahead. Knock yourselves out. First baking, and now this?


  1. I don't normally have Santa fantasies, but there was a Santa at our apartment complex Christmas party who had a very nice British accent, and it sparked a few thoughts. :)

  2. Erica: You are sooooooo funny and adorable!!! Great pic :)

  3. Aw, I love it! Seems like someone is getting slightly more into the Holiday spirit this year. Maybe without consent, though. ;-)


  4. OMG Erica,I Love this pic you are so freakin ADORABLE :-)I can't stop laughing HEHEHE LOL,When you wrote here i am with Fatso dear jolly Santa in all my glory :-)I had the same thought, that you should of had laid over his lap instead of sitting on it, HAHAHA LOL, John sure has some GREAT idea's, WAY TO GO JOHN :-)Much Love and hug's from naughty girl Jade xoxo

  5. Lancisto -- har har! :-)

    Jen -- OK, the accent goes a long way. But still...

    SnP -- thanks, sweetie. :-)

    Sophie -- hey you! Well, I admit, I feel a little better about the holidays this year, but probably for the wrong reason. Know what I'm doing on Monday and Tuesday next week? Absolutely NOTHING! :-D

    Jade -- yeahhh, John and his ideas. ;-)

  6. I think you look cute... but then, you always do. Happy Holidays!

  7. I would NOT have enjoyed sitting on Santa's lap. We used to have to do it at office gift exchanges and I never cared for it. As a child I was terrified and never went near the jolly old elf.


  8. Erica, you should have offered cool Santa, some latkes, and hot chocolate, in return for a good spanking given to you on your bare bottom.

  9. I might have done what you did, too. I have NO Santa fantasy whatsoever.

  10. I can't help it, Erica, the picture is absolutely cute and adorable! Have a nice weekend. :-)

  11. Fantastic photo Erica. I am glad that John talked you into sitting on Santa's lap.


  12. Mick -- ah, thank you. Same to you!

    Hermione -- I never did it as a kid. Come to think of it, I think this is the first time I ever have!

    Six -- uhhh... no. I'd have to pass on that idea. :-)

    Kelly -- yeah, I don't quite get that one. But I don't get a lot of fantasies. Different strokes, as they say!

    Kaelah -- LOL... well, I'm glad some people like it. You too!

    joey -- John could talk Eskimos into buying ice. It's best to just give in! :-)

  13. When my two daughters were in their early twenties the younger one talked the older one into them sitting on Santa's knee for a picture.
    I think he enjoyed it.

    Funnily enough, she now has a four year old girl and a two year old boy. Kids have to sit next to Santa now, the boy would not be in it until it was agreed his sister sit between him and Santa.


  14. John -- for every kid who can't wait to sit with Santa, I'll bet there are at least two who are scared to death!

  15. I sincerely dispute introducing the make-up criterion in our field. Actually, as others have noted,the blog comprises solid evidence that it would be netirely misguided. Toulook absolutely cute and spankeable.

  16. MrJ -- not sure what you just said, but it seemed complimentary, so thank you. ;-)

  17. Maybe the world really IS coming to an end today!!
    Honestly, I thought the photo was cute.


  18. Pam -- (snort) No such luck! LOL

  19. Erica,

    You're a far more brave woman than I! Of all the creepy things on the planet, I think that guys dressed like Santa inviting strangers to sit in their laps in public is the creep-creep-creepiest!

    Also, congratulations on your baking. I, too, baked banana bread for my boy. Aren't we domestic? Ha!

    Love to you,

  20. Haha. Very cute picture though!

  21. Dana -- did you really? :-D Yes, domestic indeed, but I don't have cool aprons like you do! xo

    Lea -- I have a feeling that picture is going to haunt me...

  22. Adorable picture, love it!

    Agree about the no Santa scene, not really my game!


  23. I'm a few days behind in my reading but this post just made my morning.

  24. Ron -- so you don't dress up as the jolly fat man? :-)

    MM -- LOL! Glad I could be of service.

  25. Got the holiday blues too, Ms. Erica, but that picture made me chuckle especially after reading your post first. Too cute to pass up, its going in my Erica file.
    BTW your candid pictures are my favorite especially when you show your gorgeous smile!

    Poppa Mark

  26. Poppa -- glad I could make you laugh. Holiday blues suck!