tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post5764980957000897354..comments2023-06-07T03:40:11.408-07:00Comments on Erica Scott: Life, Love & Spanking: Uncommon sense, Part 2Ericahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02230915556455020371noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-55786964032513812892012-06-17T16:10:25.034-07:002012-06-17T16:10:25.034-07:00Kaelah -- yes, there's a whole different contr...Kaelah -- yes, there's a whole different controversy in the scene about bratting; some tops insist that it equals consent. I don't think it does, but that's why I'm careful NOT to brat people with whom I have no desire to play.<br /><br />Sometimes, at parties, there is something very thrilling about playing with someone I barely know, or even just met. That's part of the fun, the unexpected. But I guess I feel safer in that realm.Ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02230915556455020371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-4422428984083485692012-06-17T07:51:32.720-07:002012-06-17T07:51:32.720-07:00I am very late for this, but I still would like to...I am very late for this, but I still would like to throw in my two cents' worth. Bratting is indeed a complicated topic. Ludwig, for example, isn't a huge fan of bratting and neither am I. I love intelligent banter and I very much enjoy watching your videos. But some of the more clichéd forms of bratting aren't really my cup of tea. In my opinion, bratting can work great and be a lot of fun if the people involved know each other well.<br /><br />As a way of starting a scene with someone one isn't familiar with, bratting has its downsides, though. It makes it more difficult for a top who doesn't want to play to express that. And it can also cause problems for some bottoms. At least that is true for me. I already wrote a post about it a while ago. The thing is, I am not so keen on playing with people whom I don't know very well. And I am not always in the mood for playing with anyone else than Ludwig, either. But I love light-hearted banter with people whom I like. I also do that with my vanilla friends. In kinky environments it means that sometimes I have the feeling that I have to restrain myself, though, because otherwise a teasing comment might be misinterpreted as a play request. That's a bit sad for me because it means that sometimes I can't relax completely in a kinky environment and that I can't be just me.Kaelahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17108718924415630397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-67278416107073023512012-06-15T11:25:17.200-07:002012-06-15T11:25:17.200-07:00Lea -- very true; our spanking behavior often tend...Lea -- very true; our spanking behavior often tends to be a bit ramped up. I think the hard part is determining just far to ramp! And, like you (what a surprise!), I'm naturally a tease and love to banter in the vanilla world too. If I can banter with someone, it means I like them and I'm comfortable with them.<br /><br />Craig -- as with everything else, the ones who should be taking notes are the ones who won't! LOLEricahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02230915556455020371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-76285402640814000412012-06-15T08:46:13.483-07:002012-06-15T08:46:13.483-07:00A great primer, Erica. Many girls should be taking...A great primer, Erica. Many girls should be taking notes...Craig Aychhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07853109320153985359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-56073922449500727402012-06-14T23:23:34.883-07:002012-06-14T23:23:34.883-07:00Great points, Erica. One of the nice things about ...Great points, Erica. One of the nice things about fantasy is that we get to do whatever we want. That is of course not the case in everyday life. Knowing your audience is a big thing. Some people would say that anything you wouldn't dare do to someone in vanilla life shouldn't be done in spanko world either. I think that can be a gray area because a lot of what we do is a bit ramped up from everyday interactions. But I agree to a point.<br /><br />I'm naturally a verbal banter type and very sarcastic. This is true in all areas of my life. I once had a scene friend hanging out with me and another friend. We were talking and teasing and later on, she asked me if he tops me. I said oh no, he knows nothing about all that. But she witnessed it as that kind of interaction. That's just how I tend to be with everyone that I know well. <br /><br />I've always been terrible at directly asking for play. That makes my local BDSM events even more difficult for me because they just don't work how spanko world does. I'm sure some that know each other well have their own signals but as a new person trying to get into things, it's a bit harder to not have those little things that spankos pick up on. I love being around my friends who I can just exchange a look with or make a comment that I know pushes a button (but a good button) and we're off.<br /><br />One point you've mentioned before, but not in this particular post, is the "Monkey see monkey do" logic. It's always best to not assume that just because Person A did such and such with Person B, it's okay for you to do. After observing me interacting with a particular top, I had someone say to me "Wow, I can't believe you get away with that with so-and-so, I could never do that with him!" I just shrugged. Everyone has their own dynamics.Leahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08935712285136696225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-35546575679184542462012-06-14T18:23:30.822-07:002012-06-14T18:23:30.822-07:00Cindy -- well said, as always. Thank you.Cindy -- well said, as always. Thank you.Ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02230915556455020371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-86919201790763653662012-06-14T16:35:11.706-07:002012-06-14T16:35:11.706-07:00I don't envy the Tops who don't care for t...I don't envy the Tops who don't care for the childish, outrageous bratting. Almost any reaction from a Top provides the brat with some kind of attention - and some are fine with negative attention. I feel for a Top when I know he's annoyed but is still trying to be a nice guy. <br /><br />From my personal perspective...I'm not a physical brat and, personally, I think pranks lack style. I'm a fan of banter or the direct approach. <br /><br />But I don't have a problem with the overt brats doing their thing if that's how they get their needs met and the Top is OK with it. My biggest complaint is that most of the women I've met who squeal and wrestle and pinch and use water guns is this...most of them don't know when to quit.<br /><br />I'm willing to sit back while you do your thing. But once you get spanked, give it a rest so I can get my needs met. The more subtle dance generally takes a little conversation, and a Top can't engage with me if you are shooting elastic bands at his head, relentlessly. <br /><br />Acting like a 5-year-old is fine, but an adult should know to be considerate, be aware of the people around you and show a little consideration. <br /><br />I'm willing to be considerate of others play styles if they show me the same courtesy.<br /><br /> cindy-nycAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-53938131645152034462012-06-14T12:30:16.882-07:002012-06-14T12:30:16.882-07:00SC -- very true. Timing is essential.
Emen -- ple...SC -- very true. Timing is essential.<br /><br />Emen -- please don't be nervous. Remember, there are degrees. There's a wide span between innocent newbie errors and just plain cluelessness. Considering your audience and thinking carefully before you act go a long way. And yes, some mistakes can be undone; apologies go a long way too.Ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02230915556455020371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-76273759418756086192012-06-14T01:08:07.229-07:002012-06-14T01:08:07.229-07:00I love your stories of the parties and all your en...I love your stories of the parties and all your encounters. There's some very good advice here but just reading about it makes me nervous. It can go so wrong and can't be undone. Great post as always.Emennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-91531969661372599852012-06-14T00:27:32.416-07:002012-06-14T00:27:32.416-07:00Know your audience, and pick your moments! There&#...Know your audience, and pick your moments! There's nothing worse than someone who has a preconceived plan to brat and executes it at the wrong moment! Not sexy at all!SpankCakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11395844586797989385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-82094015242498807302012-06-13T20:35:42.929-07:002012-06-13T20:35:42.929-07:00Jade -- just remember, though, I only did that wit...Jade -- just remember, though, I only did that with one specific man. I knew it would be OK with him. But I don't recommend it with others. :-)Ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02230915556455020371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-90511626804457495772012-06-13T20:09:30.686-07:002012-06-13T20:09:30.686-07:00Hi Erica -- Thank's for sharing these wonderfu...Hi Erica -- Thank's for sharing these wonderful tip's they are very helpful :-)As for bratting when i am moody i can be very insulting and naughty,I like to tease the top's at the right moment.OMG i can't stop laughing,when you said you squirted the top in the face with the water gun,hehehe LOL WAY TO GO ERICA.Much Love and hug's from your naughty girl Jadejadelyn1975https://www.blogger.com/profile/01227913685563205943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-13429275325205007172012-06-13T19:52:36.520-07:002012-06-13T19:52:36.520-07:00Kelly -- exactly. Your partners enjoy it too.
The...Kelly -- exactly. Your partners enjoy it too.<br /><br />There's no denying that I'm known for pushing/tossing away implements. What would be over the top? Probably deliberately breaking one. Or throwing it out the window. :-)<br /><br />Sarah -- good grief. That would have pissed me off, too. That's the sort of thing that brings the negative connotation to "brat."<br /><br />SS -- flatterer. :-) Well, I'm *assuming* my readers have common sense. Am I assuming erroneously? Are you saying you don't? (grinning)<br /><br />Nathalie -- nice to see you here! :-) I agree, the punishment should fit the crime. Tops who go overboard...well, that's a whole 'nuther subject. And as usual, that one's subjective too. (sigh)<br /><br />Beth -- when I was little and in my teens, my humor was typically heavy-handed and over the top. I can still remember my father raising an eyebrow at me whenever I ran a joke or some teasing into the ground and saying, "One step beyond." That's all he had to say. I think I learned a lot about subtlety from him!Ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02230915556455020371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-21568512724408490442012-06-13T18:58:21.943-07:002012-06-13T18:58:21.943-07:00I'm not big on bratting. However, in my every...I'm not big on bratting. However, in my every day, vanilla life, I can be a bit sarcastic or teasing. Why? Because I have a sense of humor. My best friend and I often gripe about how playful banter is sometimes automatically thought by some tops to be bratting. It's not.<br /><br />Perhaps it's because I've seen bottoms cross the line but watching people brat makes me nervous. It's always awkward when the bratting isn't well received or someone is going over the top. So, thanks for sharing some tips!Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06734158295884957309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-42487091440642975272012-06-13T17:27:36.099-07:002012-06-13T17:27:36.099-07:00"Because common sense is still too damned unc..."Because common sense is still too damned uncommon" Oh yes, I noticed that too. :-)<br /><br />For me, I don't brat much, I tease a bit. You know, the kind of friendly teasing one does when he likes someone. But I had rather the opposite problem then the one you describe. Doms who will find all kind of stupid excuses to spank me, even if it doesn't make sens. I even had one who very severely spanked me for stupid reasons. That made me furious and resentful. The punishment must fit the crime. Some almighty Uber-Doms, like you say, don't understand that. It comes back to common sens again.<br /><br />Very good article Erica, I enjoyed it a lot.Nathaliehttp://www.spankecards.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-23105472197480361722012-06-13T17:12:41.649-07:002012-06-13T17:12:41.649-07:00Who said just because we're your readers mean ...Who said just because we're your readers mean we have common sense? I love hearing your stories about spanking parties. Thanks for posting this. Makes me more excited about going to my first one, except I bet there won't be anyone there with quite the wit you have, because I don't think anyone else can compare!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-87871810796152175652012-06-13T17:04:31.014-07:002012-06-13T17:04:31.014-07:00Know your audience is certainly the #1 observation...Know your audience is certainly the #1 observation of bratting, IMO. <br /><br />We had an incident at the 2007 SSC where one girl brought water guns and she, and several of the other younger girls, were having water gun fights in the middle of the living space where people were having conversations. They were finally yelled at by someone to knock it off - no one involved in serious conversation wants to get caught in the middle of your childish game with one another. Not to mention (which I did, to them) the issue of the premises being in MY name, and I was responsible for any damages that might be done to the place. I let them know that straight away. Water being thrown around inside -- NOT COOL! >:(<br /><br />But knowing your audience is the best advice to follow. <br /><br />sarahsarah thornehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07297956738875001690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3661741523263753420.post-54425249899376347262012-06-13T16:38:14.783-07:002012-06-13T16:38:14.783-07:00I'm not much of a physical prank practitioner....I'm not much of a physical prank practitioner. If a top asks me to hand over an implement, I MAY push it out of reach for a brief period. :)<br /><br />Most of my behavior is very mouthy, edgy for role play scenarios. But my favorite partners and I have built up pretty solid relationships over the last few years and they welcome my style and often reciprocate the mouthing off. We share alot of laughs. I get ALOT of pain, too! :)Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09006086163765646438noreply@blogger.com