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Monday, September 20, 2010

Monday morning ramblings

Not sure where I'm going with this, so just ride along with me if you will. I'm a bit scattered and my thoughts are going off in various directions.

As is often the case, I remain baffled by some of the ad replies I'm receiving. Not the CHoS types; I know what to do with those. I mean the ones that mystify in other ways. The ones that clearly have nothing to do with my ad(s). Or perhaps the ones that show interest, then back off when I show interest in return.

Recently I was contacted on FetLife by a local gentleman, a switch, who was quite articulate and interesting. He and I differed greatly on our ideas of bottoming and I hesitated to give any of my thoughts for fear of offending him, but he assured me that he would not take offense. We exchanged a few messages; he asked me if I might be a submissive, just not a masochist, and I said I do not identify with being a submissive because I'm too feisty. I can submit, but it has to be earned, and I liked tops who enjoyed and could work off a bit of witty provocation.

He wrote back, said I was a SAM, and any bottom who provoked him would end up in the corner with soap in her mouth, watching him spank someone else. Ouch. I wrote once again, saying I hadn't intended to sound arrogant; that I don't endeavor to seriously annoy anyone, I just like to be a bit playful, and this stuff is supposed to be fun, right? My message was earnest and completely non-snotty.

Never heard back.

Someone on Alt.com "winked" at me, so I thanked him for it. He wrote me a note, saying he'd like to talk, that he found me intriguing.

Intriguing. I hear that a lot. I'm not sure why, though.
Intrigue: to arouse the curiosity or interest of by unusual, new, or otherwise fascinating or compelling qualities; appeal strongly to; captivate
Am I really that unusual? That much of a curiosity? Why?

Anyway, I wrote back, asking what he found intriguing and would he like to tell me about himself.

Never heard back.

Same day, I got a message from a man with "daddy" in his screen name. Said he found me "interesting" and "complicated" and would love to talk. I looked up his profile; in it, he stressed how any partner of his must be into daddy/daughter play. I clearly state in my profile that I'm not looking for daddies or masters.

I replied, "Interesting, maybe. Complicated, definitely. And definitely not into anything to do with the daddy/daughter dynamic -- sorry."

Wait, there's more. One more message, this time from a young couple, saying they read my profile and preferences and they'd love to play. Looked them up; they're swingers, she's bisexual, they're seeking sex partners. Ummm... they read my profile? I don't think so. Why do they even bother?

I'm just blowing off a little here; I know there aren't any answers. I simply wonder about people sometimes, what motivates them, what they're thinking. And if there's something I'm doing or saying that draws them.

However, in the midst of all this, I did get one reply that might actually have some promise. Don't want to say too much right now, as I'm afraid I'll jinx it. We'll see.

It was a strange weekend. J was very sweet, took me to a special dinner, but I could tell he was off his game. I think I might have told you that he finally, finally had a physical a couple of months ago, after my getting on his case about it. He asked the doc about why he's so exhausted all the time. Well, duh... he barely sleeps. Not only because he works ungodly hours, but he has arthritis in his back and he can't lie comfortably for more than a couple of hours, so he almost never gets any decent rest. She told him to start taking Tylenol, arthritis strength, at night before bed, so he could sleep better, because sleep deprivation is one of the reasons he gets sick all the time.

Did he buy any Tylenol? Nooooooo. The man is completely averse to taking any kind of medication. He has to be practically dying before he'll take an aspirin.

So this weekend, I could tell he was in pain. I'd catch him wincing when he didn't know I was looking. He couldn't sit still. He thrashed around in his sleep. And by Sunday morning, he could barely move. That did it. I said, we're going to Rite-Aid before we go to brunch and buying you some Tylenol, and you're taking it. He didn't argue. When J doesn't argue, you know he's in dire straits.

As soon as we arrived at the restaurant, I opened the bottle and took out two tablets, pushed them over to him. He hedged. "Don't I have to eat first?" "No... not with Tylenol." "Why do I have to take two?" "Two is the dose." "What if just one works?" "I don't care. Take both of them." "But..." "TAKE THEM."

He did. And as brunch progressed, I could see the transition... the glazed, pinched look left his face, his eyes took on their usual sparkle, he ate all his food and was back to his silly, jokey self. He sheepishly admitted that at the moment, his back was pain-free. Why did things have to get so far before he'd take those damn pills? What's up with that? Is it a guy thing, or a J thing?

He teased me, said, "You're going to make my life hell now, aren't you, nagging me to take Tylenol?" Damn straight, honey.

Is this what getting older looks like? Ugh, ugh, ugh. Yeah, the age thing is on my mind this week, for obvious reasons.

J was so very kind -- he gave me two books. I opened one of them, and found a sum of cash, crisp new bills, tucked into the end flap. He knew I've been worried about money... I started to cry. He also tucked several rolls of quarters into my suitcase, knowing I use them for laundry. What am I going to do with this man? This stubborn, wonderful, thoughtful, loving and maddening man? He makes my heart explode, truly he does.

Told you I was rambling and all over the place. I think I need to go work out.

16 comments:

  1. He has to be practically dying before he'll take an aspirin.

    I'm the same way. I mean REALLY the same way. People say.. "man, you're nuts for not taking some aleve!".. I usually just say.. "But I have a high tolerance for pain".. (yeah..SOME pain. LOL

    Mom told me once.. "Life begins at 40. But after 40, it's all maintenance". (duh).. I hate that part. I hate realizing my own mortality. *sucks* - and seeing my Mom age before my eyes.. that sucks too.. cause then I see myself just 20 yrs younger than she is. *sucks*

    About the notes you're getting.. I get those too. I sometimes wonder if people even read your profile. (sighs) - Had a guy write me the other day on OKstupid.. I mean Okcupid (that I'll delete here shortly) .. and he said "There's no way you can be a bottom and be alpha too.. you're just too damned opinionated, and COCKY to be a bottom or a sub." -- I replied.. "Well .. I guess in your case... one of us has to have a cock."

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  2. J is very sweet to you. That Tylenol obviously did the trick! man a re more generous when they are pain-free.

    About the aging thing - I'll bet that you will keep the usual stiffness, aches and pains at bay for a few years longer than most of us because of your workouts.

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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  3. i can tell you what you're doing and saying: you're beautiful and your profile lists a nice range of interests. why these duffii contact you about things not in your profile i don't know.

    as for jay....instead of acetominephen [tylenol, and buy generic] i'd go with sodium naproxin. 1g 3x daily untill the pain is knocked down[usually 1 day]. then .5 g three x daily, if the pain is gone reduce by .5g increments and a day or two at 220 mg.don't stop when the pain stops as naproxen acts over time and can be most effective. i got this from an osteopath when it was still prescription only.

    shop around for a highly reccomended chiropractor, they can work wonders. if the person says they're going to use a machine on him, run don't walk to the door.

    last, for sleep visit a certified hypnotist. they also can do great things, usually in one session.

    if he's not taking a potent multi vitamin he should start. my herbalist [my son's father in law dr. levitt] has me on "ForeMost" vi-min caps. i never thought that vitamins could do what these have done. in three or four days i felt much better in every way. more energy and better spirits.

    i know i'm not a dr. but this is all from personal experiance.

    good luck jay,


    ddon

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  4. Hi Erica,

    I know why so many people find you intriguing. Intelligence, beauty, energy, and wit are seldom found together. And now you're nurturing as well!

    I think of you as a young person with a long memory. Fifty three is going to be sensational!

    Hugs,
    Bonnie

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  5. Hello my Erica J is so wonderful to you, what a GREAT guy :-)now you can go shopping with your birthday money that will be so much fun.poor J i know what pain is like when my fibromyalgia hurts it drives me insane i can't sleep or get comfortable either UGH,i wish J lots of good luck.good luck with your reply,you are NOT old your very beautiful,i can't wait until you get the birthday presents i sent you.i Love you big hugs from your naughty girl Jade xoxo

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  6. Zelle -- LMAO!! Oh, that reply is priceless. I'll bet he was apoplectic, reading that!

    Hermione -- do you think so? Working out causes its own particular type of damage, unfortunately. But I still wouldn't give it up for anything.

    ddon -- I don't care what he takes, as long as he takes something. And while I'm a firm believer in chiropractors, J thinks they're quacks. (sigh)

    Bonnie -- you have a way of saying the absolute best things; thank you! (beaming)

    Jade -- nuh uh, no shopping for me. That birthday money is going toward bills, I'm afraid!

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  7. I've heard it's a common "guy" thing to ignore pain and or refuse medicine until their loved ones want to bludgeon them over the head for failure to listen to sound advice! lol!

    Does J work out too? YOU could become his personal trainer to help offset the back pain he endures. By the way, I hate to say it, you DO sound quite the dominant while recanting your orders for him to take the Tylenol! I bet there was no "Thank you ma'am may I have another?" reply from him. :)

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  8. Kelly -- J works out like a fiend... like everything else he does, he's driven to do it to the max. LOL... I talk a good toppy game, don't I? Must be from hearing so much of it. :-D

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  9. Craig -- SAM = Smart-Assed Masochist. Generally considered to NOT be a compliment, it's a bottom who often provokes and brats relentlessly, pushing hard for attention and punishment by making tops genuinely upset and angry.

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  10. J's kindness and thoughtfulness towards you is only matched by your genuine appreciation of him and what he has done...that's very rare in this world...you sound very happy together.

    On another note, I saw a clip of you playing with the "Spanking Couple" a few years ago and you were giving Coach Daniels and Elizabeth a lot of feisty talkback for which your bottom paid the appropriate penalty, not that the spanking diminished your cheekiness in any way! The thing I loved about that scene was that the three of you were really enjoying the play and were having so much FUN which is what I think it is all about!

    Bless you, Jon

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  11. Ah, you fascinating woman, you! Bonnie said it exactly right.

    You and J are quite blessed to have each other. I'm glad it takes nothing more than a couple of pills to put him right! Well, those and Erica.

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  12. Jon -- how lovely; thank you! :-) And yes, I did have fun with the Spanking Couple a few years ago. "Dr. Dumbass" was one of my finer moments, if I do say so myself.

    Wolfie -- welllllll... he needs more than a couple of pills at this point, I'm afraid. Poor guy needs a new body... but I'm soooo in love with the old one! :-)

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  13. warning to all!!!!
    don't open any emails from facebook ever!!!
    boy am i having a time. one of my dearest friends sent me a hi, there. it was the worlds worst virus.
    i'm working hard with microsoft to kill this thing.

    if i could only find out who they were i have some assisin friends who would like a brief holliday.

    trust me on this,

    dddon

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  14. Erica,

    I get messages constantly from men on Fetlife saying "I read your profile"...blah,blah,blah. I make it clear that I'm not looking for a dom, daddy, disciplinarian or a mentor and yet those are exactly the types I hear from most. When I write back and ask them "Are you sure it's MY profile you read?" they get their panties in a bunch. I think it goes back to arrogance again. The dom-type is probably thinking "Yes, Cheryl, I know you say you aren't seeking these things, but you haven't met ME yet and if you did, you would want all the things I would offer you." Yeah, that's almost word for word a message I got a few weeks ago. Arrogant, huh? All you have to do is assert yourself a little bit and they go away.
    Sorry to come to this discussion so late.

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  15. Cheryl -- oh yes, I've gotten the "you haven't met ME yet" bit as well. Where do these egos come from? Did they start out with them, or did they develop them after too much worship from misguided subs?

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